.-. .. -. --. .-.-.- (..-. .-. . . / .-. .--. )

[Oishi Shichimenchou]

- .... . / ..-. --- .-.. .-.. --- .-- .. -. --. / -- . ... ... .- --. . / .-- .- ... / ... . -. - / ..-. .-. --- -- / ... --- -- . --- -. . / .. -. / .-.. . .- ..-. / -.-. .. - -.-- .----. ... / - . .-.. . --. .-. .- .--. .... / --- ..-. ..-. .. -.-. . .-.-.- / ... - --- .--. .-.-.- / - .... . -.-- / .-- . .-. . / - .-. -.-- .. -. --. / - --- / --. . - / .. -. / -.-. --- -. - .- -.-. - / .-- .. - .... / ... --- -- . --- -. . / ..-. .-. --- -- / - .... . / .... .. -.. -.. . -. / ... .- -. -.. / ...- .. .-.. .-.. .- --. . .-.-.- / ... - --- .--. .-.-.- / - .... . -.-- / .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. / .- .--. .--. .-. . -.-. .. .- - . / .- / --.- ..- .. -.-. -.- / .- -. -.. / ... .--. . . -.. -.-- / .-. . ... .--. --- -. ... . .-.-.- / ... - --- .--. .-.-.-

.-. .. -. --. .-.-.- / .-. .. -. --. .-.-.- / .-. .. -. --. .-.-.-

 

[Mikaboshi]

[Do me a favor Yogi. If you're going to bother posting these things to our gates, please do us the courtesy of not making us have to search up a translator to get it translated to English. For those interested in this post, I'm including an English translation of the above post below.

THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE WAS SENT FROM SOMEONE IN LEAF CITY'S TELEGRAPH OFFICE. STOP. THEY WERE TRYING TO GET IN CONTACT WITH SOMEONE FROM THE HIDDEN SAND VILLAGE. STOP. THEY WOULD APPRECIATE A QUICK AND SPEEDY RESPONSE. STOP.

RING. RING. RING.

Please do not make me have to do this for every one of these posts. It would make me extremely cross.]

 

[Oishi Shichimenchou]

-.--.- .. - / --- -. .-.. -.-- / - .- -.- . ... / .- / --.- ..- .. -.-. -.- / --. --- --- --. .-.. . / ... . .- .-. -.-. .... / - --- / ..-. .. -. -.. / -.. --- --.. . -. ... / --- ..-. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / - .-. .- -. ... .-.. .- - --- .-. ... .-.-.- / .. -. / - .... . / .--. .- ... - / .. .----. ...- . / .--. --- ... - . -.. / -.-. --- -- .--. .-.. . - . .-.. -.-- / .. -. / ... .--. .- -. .. ... .... .-.-.- / .. / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. / .. -. -.-. .-.. ..- -.. . / .- -. / . -. --. .-.. .. ... .... / - .-. .- -. ... .-.. .- - .. --- -. --..-- / -... ..- - / .. - / .-. ..- .. -. ... / - .... . / ... ..- .-. .-. . .- .-.. .. ... -- / --- ..-. / ... --- -- . --- -. . / -.-. .... . -.-. -.- .. -. --. / - .... . / --. .- - . ... / .- -. -.. / ... . . .. -. --. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / ..-. --- .-. / .- / .--. --- ... - .-.-.- / .. / -.- -. --- .-- / .. / -.-. .- -. / -... . / .... .. - / --- .-. / -- .. ... ... / .-- .... . -. / .. / -.. --- / - .... . ... . / - .... .. -. --. ... .-.-.- / -. --- .-- / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -.-- --- ..- / .--. .-.. . .- ... . / .... ..- -- --- .-. / -- . / .- -. -.. / .-. . .--. .-.. -.-- / - --- / - .... .. ... / .. -.-. .-.. -.-- ..--.. -.--.-

Spoiler

(It only takes a quick google search to find dozens of morse code translators. In the past I've posted completely in Spanish. I could include an English translation, but it ruins the surrealism of someone checking the gates and seeing morse code for a post. I know I can be hit or miss when I do these things.

Now will you please humor me and reply to this ICly?)

 

[Honma Kotone]

Often, whenever Oba found the time, she would offer up her services as a Gate Guard. Although this never happened too often due to her new schedule, being promoted to Sennin and struggling so tediously against a continually growing fountain of paperwork; the joys of becoming more having more authority within one's own branch. Anyway, stop with the blabbing. Kinnaku found herself wrapped up in a different attire, something very common and unfitting for a woman of her pedigree and age, a sandy cloth cuddled her body and masked her face leaving only her hands exposed like some kind of large shawl.

It was almost impossible for a person not from the Village to riddle their way through the sand storm that circled the Maw. Some may have tried, may have died in the process, but we wouldn't know would we? Their bodies would wrinkle and burn with time, lose their figure and turn into soft minerals that would be pushed into the grainy atmosphere. oh, that seemed a bit morbid... Well, okay, maybe it wasn't impossible to find the entrance, all you really needed was goggles and the want for a new, darker, tan. Kinnaku shook her head as she stood just a few meters away from the Maw, a spiral slab of earth that would open from the central point of the slab and allow entry into the 'throat' of the Maw, which was essentially a giant sandworm's mouth that now was retrofitted with elevators to take people from top-to-bottom with ease.

"Message incoming," A voice peered into her mind, which startled her somewhat, but it was a Yamanaka from the Guard corps, "I'll translate the code as best as I can." The man said with a somewhat distracted tone, finding it both exciting and complex to crack the code; which some may have found easier: oh wait, he was new. The Sennin folded her arms as the sands brushed against her exposed flesh. "THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE WAS SENT FROM SOMEONE IN LEAF CITY'S TELEGRAPH OFFICE. STOP. THEY WERE TRYING TO GET IN CONTACT WITH SOMEONE FROM THE HIDDEN SAND VILLAGE. STOP. THEY WOULD APPRECIATE A QUICK AND SPEEDY RESPONSE. STOP."

After the message there was a note of silence, but why?

Kinnaku stood, arms crossed, frozen in some kind of unknown emotion. But what was wrong with her? "Ugm... You don't have to scream that..." She would exclaim softly with a smile pressing against her invisible face. The man, whom was new, was clearly new and obviously nervous about conveying a message. Bless. "Can you please reply back with this message: This is Oba Kinnaku of Sand, I am the Medical Sennin, what do you want?"

 

[Oishi Shichimenchou]

Telecommunications had done wonders for the world. It had provided a means for foreign leaders to keep in touch with one another easily and without the need of intermediary diplomats. No longer did they need to rely on middlemen when discussing matters of war and peace. It allowed merchants a cheap mechanism to arrange caravans and to negotiate deals. To the scientist it gave an means by which to share scientific findings with their colleagues.

Unfortunately it had also provided pranksters a means by which to make really lame jokes.

After receiving the Sennin's telegram the Leaf City telegraph office sent a reply almost instantly. Whoever was sending the messages must have already told the operator what to respond with regardless of the first reply.

.... . .-.. .-.. --- .-.-.- / ... - --- .--. .-.-.- / - .... .. ... / .. ... / ..- -- .- ... .... .. / - .... . / -- . -.. .. -.-. .- .-.. / ... . -. -. .. -. / ..-. .-. --- -- / .-.. . .- ..-. / -.-. .. - -.-- .-.-.- / ... - --- .--. .-.-.- / .. / - . .-.. . --. .-. .- .--. .... . -.. / -.-- --- ..- / - --- / .- ... -.- / .. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .-. . ..-. .-. .. --. . .-. .- - --- .-. / .-- .- ... / .-. ..- -. -. .. -. --. .-.-.- / ... - --- .--. .-.-.-

Spoiler

Hello. Stop. This is Umashi the Medical Sennin from Leaf City. Stop. I telegraphed you to ask if your refrigerator was running. Stop.

It was bound to happen. Someone had to send the first refrigerator joke.

"Is your refrigerator running?"
"Yes."
"Then you better catch it!"

It was childish, lame, and showed that humanity as a whole was in a state of arrested development. It was the way of the world though. Did you know that the first books to be published were erotica novels? The first scientific journals did not arise for several decades afterwards. In a similar manner the first telegrams to be sent between the civilized nations of the world would be not great literary works, but lame jokes. Hopefully in time someone with a higher degree of civility would find a way to use the technology to its full potential.

 

[Honma Kotone]

Forget telegraph communication, the real way to communicate was through one's own mind and the Yamanaka had uncovered away to converge their thoughts upon another, and vice versa. It was truly a divine breakthrough and something that has really come in handy within the village, but more specifically with Kinnaku's career and personal life. Although she did not adorn the cells of a Yamanaka within her blood, she did always employ those blonde-shinobi into her ranks for their telecommunication skills. "Is he an idiot?" The Sennin would reply, rubbing her clothed temple with the tip of her finger. It only realized her irritation for a moment but almost immediately after she stopped rubbing that pressure point; the pain came back and the woman would sigh oh-so briefly.

"Please reply back to Leaf's Medical Sennin," Kinnaku would shake her head and constrain her thoughts as to what was going on over in the bordering country, "Umashi-san, it is a pleasure to hear from you, however, I ask that you refrain from making jokes..." Kinnaku would sigh, a noise which - thankfully- wouldn't have been able to transferred over the telegraph.

Honestly, the woman didn't know what to say to the joke.

She, in that one moment, lost all hope for Leaf and its Medical Branch. However, that would probably be why Suna reigned stronger, more efficient and much more safer than those who bathed to freely in the shade. "If you have nothing better to say, I suggest you stop using the telecommunication; it's a misuse and rather inappropriate."

 

[Oishi Shichimenchou]

No further replies came from the Leaf telegraph office. There are a variety of possible scenarios of why this is. Below are the most likely explanations.

1) The sender of the telegrams had been caught using the name of the Medical Sennin Umashi. Telegraphy was still unregulated in the city of Leaf and so anyone sending messages from there had a certain degree of freedom in what they sent, but the technical limitations of the technology meant that it was fairly easy for a central authority to keep tabs on what was being sent and received. In this scenario the sender had run away from the telegraph office before they could be captured for impersonating a Sennin.

2) The telegram had been sent to the Sand telegraph office, but a sandworm had eaten the cable that connected the Leaf City and Sand telegraph offices. Sandworms are the sort of creature that eat and never question what they ate. Several attempts have been made to teach them to avoid eating telegraphy cables and how they benefit from the increased usage of telegraphy technology, but in each attempt they have eaten the missionary team.

3) The sender couldn't think of a witty reply. The joke relied on the recipient not being sure what was meant by 'Is your refrigerator running?'. If the recipient knew of the joke then the joke was non-existent. It this sense the joke is similar to silence. It ceases to be silent when someone mentions that it is silent. The sender could reply with something snarky like, "Killjoy!", but that wouldn't be very funny.