[Forced Entry]

[Oishi Shichimenchou]

Hello there. You may be wondering why I, a pipsqueak wearing a black dress, was trying to force my way into the village hidden in the sands. You may wonder why I was running without any shoes on. Indeed you may be wondering why I had built a fence using sand, proceeded to climb on top of it, and take a nap there. You may be wondering why I decided to write this all down and leave it on a note. You may be wondering all of these things. Hell, you might be wondering who I am.

The truth is I don't know the answer to any of these questions. I'm not really sure about a lot of things. I'm in that weird phase of life where I'm trying to find myself; metaphorically speaking of course. I know where I am physically. I'm underneath this note, on top of that fence, still napping. I would greatly appreciate it if you let me continue napping. Unless there is like, you know, a flash flood and I'm about to drown. You are more than welcome to wake me up and urge me to swim to safety.

With the utmost respect,
The Napping Person

The girl snored as she slept underneath the Sunian sun. Occasionally she would wobble to the left and almost fell off the fence several times but through sheer luck she managed to stay put. If allowed to finish her nap she would likely wake up, finish jumping the fence, and enter the village. Or she might make a second fence. It is not uncommon for one to make plans for the next day and throw them out the window when they wake up.

[Forced Entry]
[S-Rank 30 Minutes]

 

[Uri]

It wasn't uncommon for Uri to be at the gates on any day seeing as how he spent time with the guardsmen, playing guards and losing money. Today was no different, with the sole exception of the forward scout spotting someone attempting to jump over a non-existent wall that surrounded the underground village. Crazy people were always interesting to deal with, but sometimes needed someone just as whacky to reason amongst the chaos. Waving a bandaged hand, Uri got up from the table of cards -he had a losing hand anyway- and he went to the small sub-door that let them out towards the front of the gates. Since the maelstrom was always raging it was rare for the gates to ever open anyway; side passages had become a necessity. Face wrapped with a long garb, he stepped out into the stinging sand, doing well to shift the flow of chakra around him to ensure the diamond sand didn't flay away his skin.

"Hey, you're gonna hurt yourself trying to do that."<i></i>

[Catch]

 

[Takahashi Aki]

Fix the elevator. That was all. Usually when one tries to get access the elevator needs to be in some working order. The attack from Magnetica had damaged the great lift to the point where it needed a great deal of structural repairs. Why was it that those of the moral inclination towards the insane had to do this? The Steward worked at the great lift and felt a slight disturbance above. Enemy? No. An enemy would make a louder racket. Sousuke with some hesitancy prepared for the worst. He stood there for a single moment allowing his armour to phase in through his flesh. Upon completion he turned to the switch and threw it. The great lift began to operate. Slowly but surely the lift was coming down. He looked up to see if it was some sort of monster coming down. An Unbent perhaps? No. whatever it was it as quiet. Too quiet. As quiet as a door mouse ...

To Sousuke's surprise he would find Uri and ... a sleeping person? The Steward would analyze the sleeping individual. He already knew Uri well enough. What else did he need to know about one of his best friends? "This is the fifth this month."<i></i> Sousuke spoke monotone. "Is the entire world under some sort of great cataclysmic event that ... sends them to our lands for safe keeping?"<i></i> For a moment the Steward would look skyward as if he realized something was amiss in the mind of the world. Surely. The elevator was as plain as day? "No matter. This one is sleeping. Quite ... incredible really, wouldn't you agree Uri? How does one sleep with sand raining upon them? So soundly too?"<i></i>

[OOC: Ahai Yogi.]

 

[Oishi Shichimenchou]

The girl did not awaken from her slumber although she stirred around. For one moment it appeared as if she was about to wake, but she ended up only reaching for a non existent blanket.

"Pew pew..." went the little girl, "Pew pew.."

What was it she dreamt of? Was she slaying great beasts? Or was sthe eating a mountain of onion? Heaven only knew. Whatever it was, it was clear the girl was a heavy sleeper and not wake unless molested.

 

[Uri]

"A sound slumber can only be had for so long out in the maelstrom. Soon it'll just be death,"<i></i> Raising a finger into the air and wagging it about, he nodded, "But luckily I too am a heavy sleeper and my mother had a technique for waking me up when I was being stubborn."<i></i>

Uri took his time, peeling away both of his gloves; bandages still wrapped up to the bottoms of his fingers. Digits laced together, he pushed them outwards, loud cracks resonating from the joints as he prepared for his fated awakening skill. In all the shinobi world there were many terrifying things one could do to another unaware, many resulting in death. Luckily, for Uri he wasn't the typical ninja. As he lunged forward, hands extended, he used immense speed. The chuunin's fingers were a mere blur as he did his work and applied his technique to the slumbering stranger.

What was he doing you ask?

In all his shinobi talent, despite his many facets learned from years of traveling, he simply resorted to something that would never fail: Tickling.

The devilish trick was always a surefire way to rile someone from their sleep; as Uri had been a victim to it numerous times in his life.

 

[Takahashi Aki]

Sousuke held out his hands, and curled his pinky and ring ringers. He let his index and middle fingers remain straight, and he allowed his thumbs to hang loose. When the girl went pew pew Sousuke make dual cross bow shooting gestures to go with the pew pew. Dual hand crossbows weren't feasible in this world, at this time, but perhaps somewhere, sometimes the Steward would invent the mechanics which allowed such a preposterous dual wielding device become probable. Sousuke snapped back to reality when Uri began speaking to him. A very strange and attentive look came over Sousuke as Uri described a way to waken the slumbering. Uri had his attention and his curosity. The Steward was a man of science. He was anti-social. So... he was going to have to pay attention here. Mainly because his ward sometimes needed to be woken too from a very deep sleep.

Sousuke reached into his coat and removed a steno pad and a pen. He clicked the pen and awaited Uri's actions. "For science."<i></i> Sousuke would declare in his monotone voice. Yes. For science indeed. Sousuke began making notes about Uri's finger movements, the Steward noted that Uri had also taken off the gloves. Anything involving the gloves coming off surely mean that things did just get serious.

 

[Oishi Shichimenchou]

There a variety of extant laugh types. There is the 'hue hue' popular in coastal regions. There is the 'keke' that the Chosono people of Bear Country taunt their enemies with. The lower classes of the merchant cities had the 'jaja'. The more refined gentlemen let out a simple 'hah' when they found something amusing. Little children dressed as mad scientists went 'mwuahahah' during Nightmare Night. Each laugh had an association tied to it and told a little bit about its owner. One could only wonder then, what would come out of the napping girl's mouth when she found herself being tickled? Would she 'hue hue'? Or would she surprise everyone by using a mixture of 'hue-ja-mwua'?

She said none of these. Instead she opened her eyes, took out a notepad, wrote on it four letters, and handed it over to her attacked.

R.
O.
F.
L.​

You see the girl was a mute; or to be more precise she had decided to be a mute for the day. She wasn't sure what her back story was yet and was trying to buy herself time by being annoying and refusing to speak. That would hopefully throw people off long enough for her to create some fictional biography for herself. She briefly considered claiming to be 'Li Nanshin, Chief Medical Ninja of Sage Kyoubaidou's Hospital in Sungakure no Sato' or loose canon ANBU Captain, 'Dorai Yuki'. She decided against these options though. They didn't suit her. If her act as a mute wasn't believed she supposed she'd claim to be.. Kenja. Yes, Kenja. She would claim to be Kenja, a mednin turned serial killer after discovering that her husband Yagami had been her arch nemesis, the Black Spide- No that was just silly. Why would any super hero name themselves after a spider? That's absurd.

If she had to make up a biography on the spot she'd need something much more credible.

The formerly napping girl wrote a second note and handed this over too. It read, "I'm Yukio. I'm an ANBU from the future. I was sent to the past by Kazekagess Reena to stop the rise of the Dark Lord Nori and his lieutenant Melkor."

 

[Uri]

While Uri went about his metaphorical attack on the sleeping female, he described his actions and why he did them out loud as to allow Sousuke to take more efficient notes; making sure to detail specific sweet spots that would traditionally elicit a greater response from the target. Just as Uri had suspected, his technique had been effective and their unknown visitor was now awake. However, instead of eliciting any sort of audible laugh, a notepad was handed to him with four letters scribbled across it. Kids and their slang these days; butchering common tongue they were.

It seemed everyone but Uri had taken to writing on a notepad and he felt a bit out of place, but he did seem to be the center of attention, as odd as it was. Not too long after the initial note, the pad was seized from him again and another message was scrawled across its sheets.

The chuunin carefully read the passage a few times, looking from the page and back to the person before him. Farfetched was a way to describe it, but Uri wasn't the one who had the authority to judge and instead he turned to the Steward; a man of great deductive reasoning. Uri turned slightly and offered the notepad to Sousuke to read, "What do you think, Sousuke?"<i></i> There was no real reason for the white-haired sugar-lover to offer any sort of opinion on the matter yet. The circumstances were still far too odd to be able to judge well. There was a man of great aspirations that had gone by the name of Nori in Sunagakure at one point. Had fate twisted him in such a way that he would go down a darker passage? Or perhaps someone had just taken his visage up and was using his name. There was a mental shrug at the train of thought. In the ninja world anything was possible.

'Cept for dragons. Those were only myths.

 

[Takahashi Aki]

Sometimes something so off shoot, so off the wall happens that it causes for a response to come. When the Steward was utterly provoked in such a manner, even he was forced to respond in kind. Sousuke's faceplate would retract revealing his neutral expression, however, there was something in his eyes. Something that had happened just in the last few seconds that forced Sousuke's hand. Was it what was written on the sheet of paper? Was it the enigma that was the traveler? Was it that Sousuke was in such a state of boredom that he was pushed to do something that demanded and required his particular skill set?

It was Sousuke's turn now to take the pad of paper. Seemingly Sousuke didn't care for what was written on it. He held up his hand and the metal plates retracted. Sousuke simply began to touch the sheets of paper. First it was the texture. Then it was the flipping of individual sheets. Then it was him rapidly paging through the sheets. Then it was him smelling the paper. Then it was him smelling the ink on the paper. Then it was the replication by improv invisible stylus used by the Steward attempting to fully replicate the text on the paper. Sousuke then would handle the invisble stylus different and would write backwards the text. Sousuke would then take out the pad of paper he was using earlier and he would be comparing and contrasting the two. Following that he would then pock his pad of paper and take to a fuller reading of the stylus used by the sleeping individual. Perhaps. Drinking in the facts like a drunk would drink in hard liquor. This was the sign of a true detective.

Sousuke would simply hand the pad of paper back to the sleeping individual as if they were properly awake. "The paper is not from around these parts. It is from a foreign territory, the smell of the paper which is exceptionally faint would say that the pulp is from that of a birch tree most likely. Birch trees are of course foreign to us. Mist as we know is or was of a tropical land, thus the paper is not from there. Could be from cloud, I am less inclined to think that. It would then lead me to believe that we are looking more into Fire country."<i></i> He paused for a moment. "Given this being a possibility, and only a possibility I am inclined to believe what we have here is a member of the Hidden Leaf? I say this because I have engaged with two individuals from leaf, and it has been revealed to me that Leaf is in the midst of a civil war. Or ... this person is from Cloud in which they've occurred some unnatural cataclysmic disaster too that I have yet to be informed of. Mmm... "<i></i> The detective merely paused for a moment. He seemed to be considering what was written on the paper. "This girl has a creative imagination. I'm sure we're not dealing with a Kyle Reese proto-backward-forward concept here. If one were to time travel, then I'm ... fairly certain ... they wouldn't be this reckless. I mean, I wouldn't be lying here. I'd be trying to not be seen or noticed. Heh ... I mean let's be honest, do you honestly wish to meet your mother at a time you weren't thought of and in fact tamper with the fact she may never meet your father because you decided to alter events by ... sneezing at the wrong time and attracting attention? Sage Khan referred to it as the Butterfly effect."<i></i>

(Yes. Movie and show references enmass, a little silly never hurts)

 

[Oishi Shichimenchou]

The formerly napping girl twitched at hearing the old man's response. She didn't care for the implication that she was someone from Leaf. Why not just call her a Lilian or a Beatrice while they were at it? She took to writing her response. She would have the last laugh out of this! Once finished she would hand it over to be read.

"In the future the Dark Lord Nori signs a trade agreement with Fire Country and the latter floods the market with cheaply made paper products. Dozens of Suna-jin in the paper business lose their jobs and even a few executives have their jobs moved across the river. Consumers benefit from cheaper paper, but at what cost? In the future all paper products and paper accessories are controlled by a single war lord named David Brent."

The back of the note read, "In the future it is also customary to invite someone for frozen yogurt after they've told you they have come from the future."

 

[Oishi Shichimenchou]

¿Estan bien todos?

 

[Uri]

There was a lot of speculation to be had as they all gathered random and seemingly out-of-the-way thoughts. Uri at this point was the normal one, which was saying something. Lips sealed together, he started moving his mouth around in unsure gestures as he looked between the two. As far as he knew paper in Wind Country was already controlled by a monopoly due to their lack of resources to produce it. He mentally shrugged and looked to Sousuke, offering a similar sentiment.

Catching his gaze upon the new note, his eyes brightened a little, "I do know a good place for frozen, frosty treats.."<i></i> He mused, rubbing his chin. Ultimately it was all up to Sousuke to make the final judgement on this completely odd scenario. Liars typically weren't wise to let into the village, especially ones who were trying for something so grand, even if on a satirical scale.

(OoC: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY. I completely forgot I was next to post v_v)

 

[Takahashi Aki]

(English Yogi, eeeeennnggggliiisssh.)

"David Brent."<i></i> Sousuke would say out loud. "Foreign, in the extreme. Have you ever met an individual from house Brent?"<i></i> Sousuke would inquire of Uri. The Steward had already silently read the rest of the details. Then there was a bit about Frozen Yogurt. Sousuke exchanged glances with Uri. This joke was getting old and fast. "Let me guess. It's the Silver Streak on 23rd and Main."<i></i> The Steward knew that Uri had a particular fondness for the strawberries that only Silver Streak would make.

"I could just flip the switch and have the elevator go back up and the two of us forget that this ever happened. Clearly if you and I know what the future holds in store, then it is our job to prevent this fiasco. Then again our temporal frame has already been cracked... creating an alternate series of events. An alternate reality if you would."<i></i> The Steward eyed the switch. A few steps forward and all he had to do was flip it to send back this 'Yukio' to the surface. "Well then. I am very inclined to send this person back to the surface."<i></i> Sousuke would look to Uri to see if he had any objections. "Can honesty not prevail?"<i></i>

 

[Oishi Shichimenchou]

"Well of course Brent sounds foreign," I quipped, "He is from the future. You can't get much more foreign than that. IN THE FUTURE naming customs have changed. Everyone has names like Bill, Ted, and Joe. My parents were considered old fashioned for naming me Yukio after my great-grandfather. My younger sister is named Sa-"

The girl stopped mid-word and began writing on her notebook once more.

"Sorry about that. I forgot I was pretending to be mute. As I was saying, IN THE FUTURE naming customs have changed."

She was about to hand this over to be read when she shook her head. This was too silly. It would be a hassle for them to continue this conversation through paper notes. The gimmick might get a laugh when first used, but is simply tiring if carried out for too long. She would simply switch over to using her voice. Incidentally this is why silent films aren't popular and few great people are mute. She took her notepad and began to tear it up.

"Okay okay you got me. I'm not really from an apocalyptic future where Dark Lord Nori rules over the world. Kazekage Reena defeated him ages ago. I was goofing around in my gramps lab and got sent here by accident. So now I'm looking for his younger self to build a time machine to get me back home. I mean- I guess I could defeat some villain from this era and then talk about how there is an even bigger threat coming that we need to prepare for but things are actually pretty cool in the future for us."

 

[Uri]

Uri just shrugged to Sousuke, not having even heard of such a name before. Granted there were whole parts of the world Uri hadn't seen, so he couldn't ever really know. Being a foreigner was okay. Sunagakure was well known for being the most friendly shut-ins on the continent, but there was a stark difference between being strange and out-right lying. The chuunin nodded this time in response to Sousuke's query. The Steward knew his village and Uri well enough to know of such specific tastes. Arms crossed, Uri continued to look at the female still on the ground, taking each bit of new information from her with a spoonful of salt.

"Y'know, Sousuke, I don't think people know how to tell the truth anymore. An archaic art that vanished with the rest of the world's sensibilities."<i></i> Now he was just mocking the girl by holding up the conversation with Sousuke in such a manner, "It's a shame too. Those strawberries are extraordinary. I once sailed on a boat responsible for importing them to Soon's. Couldn't stop eating them!"<i></i> There was an exasperated huff that left his lips next, hands moving to his hips, "All this talk about food is got my sweet tooth nagging me. Can we wrap this up and go get something? My treat."<i></i>

Perhaps being treated like a kid would earn some better results. Time travel was probably one of the most taboo and impossible things in any history anywhere, and while Sunagakure had the minds to make it possible someday, this time would not be it. Uri was more likely to sprout wings and take flight than moving through timelines would be.

Heh. Yeah. Wings would be cool.

 

[Takahashi Aki]

Well. From paper to voice. This was an improvement. Sousuke exchanged glances with Uri and the Yukiko. Uri next spoke of how the truth speaking was an art. Sousuke face palmed. Great. So. The future. It was still full of not-too-bright individuals. "Okay. I still think I should just hit the lift button. Send you back to the surface, then Uri and I go find the individual responsible so we can prevent this from happening."<i></i> The Steward tapped his fingers together. All he needed to do was in one swift motion hit the button. Why? Why was he not doing this. Why was he note responsible to this threat of an irresponsible future. Why indeed? In fact why hadn't he just simply acquired a red and black face mask, and begin talking the audience who read this? Deadpool? No. No. no. Sukepool. It was going to happen, but due to the great problem of time shifting continuums Sukepool did not happen yet. Why? Mainly because the greater forces that dictated the world had something else in mind. Sukepool later. It would be hee laaairr eeee us. Oh yes.

The Steward would look skyward for a moment, as if to realize that he was indeed being manipulated. Yes. Every action planned, or re-planned depending on the mood of things. "..."<i></i> The Steward would look down and return to the present company of Yukiko. "Bill and Ted sound like they have excellent adventures. I wish I could have one, however, I unlike others must work. I maintain things for the greater good."<i></i> Sousuke would state. No. No excellent adventures for the Steward. No. not in the slightest. Everything was quite grim. Quite brooding. Quite dark. Uri spoke of a treat. "Maybe I should treat us this time. You've only treated me out twice, and I would very much like to implant the concept in your mind that I'm ... well I might not be that well off, but I'm not some sort of leech that simply drains blood and grows fat only to be used by a witch or brooding lord in a blood curse."<i></i> Sousuke's eyes narrowed. "Ignore the last several words I said after the word only."<i></i>

 

[Oishi Shichimenchou]

The girl scratched her head at hearing one of the two guard people suggest that they wished to prevent this event from occurring.

"Wait," she said, "Do you mean to suggest that you are going to find my papa and prevent him from meeting my mother so that I am never born?"

She puffed her cheeks at this thought. She had lied about her reason for coming, but surely being removed from the world timeline was a bit excessive. A time out or light jail sentence would be more than sufficient punishment for fibbing. Even death would be preferable to being erased! To be killed would be unpleasant, but at least the individual in question would have enjoyed a bit of life. To be erased though.. there is no joy to be found in that even among masochists.

"Th-that is unfair! You leave my papa alone! He's thrice the man than either of you two!"

The girl didn't bother to ask the gender of either guard and instead presumed both to be male. This was both rude and polite. It is rude to assume one's gender, but it also rude to ask another such personal matters before being formally introduced. As the girl had no choice but to be rude she elected the route which involved the least work.

"EVEN if you tried, there is no way you could stop my papa from meeting my ma. Papa was the strongest shinobi in the village during his youth! He invented the letter Ж! He resurrected the Death Riders as the 7th Pestilence! No one can defeat my papa!"

 

[Uri]

Uri waved his hand at Sousuke, dismissing his concerns as if they weren't legitimate.

"I spend money on two things: My mother's living and food. I'd be spending the money eventually on the same thing anyway; having company only makes it better,"<i></i> He did tap his lip thoughtfully for a moment, "Besides, being the Steward, we have to make sure you're well suited to take care of the village. If we don't take care of you, how can you take care of us?"<i></i> His logic was sound. While he was having this moment with Sousuke, he had completely ignored any further comments from the stranger while finishing his answer. Uri was normally an understanding, caring, and sociable individual, but now he was just finding himself annoyed with this person's brazen attempts to lie and enter on wholly false pretenses.

Either she was mad or devious. Either way, it wasn't good to have in their village.

There was a huff and he looked to Sousuke, then to the girl and back, "Your call, boss man. I'm not afraid of a challenge or men greater than me. Our ancestors stomped out the ancients; I wouldn't mind trying to do the same."<i></i>

 

[Takahashi Aki]

Sousuke paused for a moment. A light bulb would appear above Sousuke's head. The light bulb would then turn on, then go super nova and explode. It seemed as if an idea had entered the mind of Sousuke. He would turn his head to face Uri. "I would very much like to test this. I wonder what it would be like to witness an individual being erased from existence. As cruel and unusual as it sounds, it would be a quantum leap in terms of figuring out how to deal with threats emerging out of time, space, and futuristic cataclysmic entities."<i></i> Next Yukiko would claim that this would be unfair, and that her father was more powerful than the two of them. Sousuke would tap his fingers together and have silent time for thinking. "I doubt your father is Toraono Kuro, or Uri here. If so, then I'll simply advise them not to name their daughter Yukiko and then we'll be on a completely different set of events to unfold. In fact ... even I might be subjected to this too, in which I would be very very embarrassed and sad to be your father."<i></i> Sousuke would turn his head to Uri, "Are you on the verge of creating a letter Ж? Жeras Жerix ЖeraЖ. Жerath. I'm going to subject myself to the concept of my spouse or mate not naming our child Yukiko either. There. We're all happy now."<i></i> The Steward thought of having to be very straight and forward with this with Yume, considering at the moment they were indeed considered an item. Granted though explaining this to her would be very silly and very difficult. Perhaps he should just simply revert to naming their child, or if they were to have children a name from generation past.

Uri would then make the conversation less dark, and deep and speak about food. Sousuke waved his hand. "I'm adaptable."<i></i> He began, "That's not to say I don't enjoy our adventures in dining. Thanks to you I have at least tried maybe a quarter of the village's fine dining facilities."<i></i> It would seem that Uri was growing annoyed. "You're not afraid of any men greater than you, except yourself."<i></i> Sousuke would merely shrug. He turned his head to face Yukiko once more. Sousuke's dark eyes would narrow as he focused intently upon the youth. "I really do not buy the concept of you being a time traveler. It is a lovely detailed farce you've put together. I think a more timely ... and direct approach is going to be required here. You have exactly fifteen seconds to tell the truth here and now, or else I'm going to hit the button to send you back to the surface. Your time starts now."<i></i> Sousuke just to illustrate the point took out a pocket watch flipped it open and eyed the time.

(MFT 426)

 

[Oishi Shichimenchou]

The girl looked at her non-existent watch. Fifteen seconds? That was far too short a time to let her explain her story. It did not help that she had no story. She could create a story in ten seconds, but telling it would require another twenty seconds at minimum. Forty five seconds would have given her ample time to do it, but fifteen? That was too short! Too little! Too unbig!

"Wait-!" She yelled, "If I am from the future you can't just remove me from existence by stopping my birth now. You would do create a new world line but the world I'm from still exist. All you have done is turn me from a time traveler to a interdimensional traveler."

She began to stutter, had the button been pushed? Had she time left?

"And under chapter eight of the Kumogakure Accord I am entitled to be classified as a refugee and have a right to a serving of frozen yogurt with sprinkles and ugh.. two cherries!"