I've Found You [private]

[Hanone]

The smells of that place haunted him as he tracked over her deeply marked trail. The anger sizzling on the air was like a live current and the fear of the others standing around, as well as Kitanai's distress. She had been afraid for her life, no doubt and he didn't blame her. But that only meant one thing... and why Koho hadn't killed her was beyond him. Maybe she wasn't thinking. Anger made you want to kill, but sorrow?

He'd felt that before, over and over. Every time he read her letter over and what Muji had told him.. he had felt the desolation of her loss, the sheer force of the truth of her choices. She had left him, she wasn't coming back. But she had returned..

His thoughts were interrupted as he turned a corner and finally spotted her from the back. His heart wrenched painfully but he was forced to silence the vice grip of his terrorized emotions. He didn't know what would happen, how could he? He knew she was mad, that she was violent mad and the scent she gave off now...

So he pushed away from the shadows. He was a fearless man in the face of battle, but this.. this was different. He wasn't afraid of her, but he was afraid of what she thought and what might happen tonight. A smarter man might have let her have her space, but he was a stubborn man. He wanted to scream, he wanted to beg.. he didn't know what the fuck he wanted except for her. Somehow, he was sure she'd be the one he lost tonight.

"Koho, stop walking." he said, his deep voice sounding less somber than he had hoped. His heart was in his throat, he wasn't able to push it aside completely. "Talk to me."

[waiting for koho]
[topic entered]

 

[Honma Kotone]

"It's you..." Koho would state coldly, continuing to walk onwards, despite the voice of her former lover beckoning her. Even his voice brought it all back, rushing in a torrent of emotion, that he had two rats clambering at his feet. What a disgusting little man he was. One could argue that Koho shouldn't have been able to talk, given she was also committed to Onamuji, but there was a stark difference; Koho wasn't in love with him - Saemon was in love with that guard, and probably the other one. She would clank onward, reaching a railing that overlooked a small canal; which ran through the lower sections of the city. "Don't you have a little pet to tend to? I'm sure she needs a good feeding, you're probably a master at that by now." She would scoff, "God knows you didn't have a clue what you were doing with me."

She would sigh, arching her body onto the railing where her sharp blues would watch the gushing water. Koho felt nothing but hatred, disgust and complete sorrow all bundled up into one little frame - nothing could feel this worse. His actions were already set in stone, he had loved another, and in turn betrayed Koho for this. The 3rd didn't know where to go now, she had no home any more and Sand couldn't house her - not now. It would only be a matter of time before she left to join back with the Makeoshimi... But wait, that would be impossible, too. Koho killed one of the five Kings, and they had sent out that King to assassinate Koho anyway. There really was no home for her.

"Why are you following me, Saemon?" She would ask coldly, not bothering to face him because he wasn't worth the effort, "I don't even need to hear your excuses because what you've done is more than enough information for me." Her words were very hollow, very blank as if she wasn't even paying any attention to him, well, because she wasn't. The only thing she kept her mind on was what to do next? There really wasn't anywhere to go, nobody to travel with and nobody to call home. The guard stole that chance of normality away from her, and the more that little skank lingered in her mind, the more Koho wanted to clever her body into little bits.

They were both aware of Koho, and indeed another person, yet they continued their affair? Disgusting.

The 3rd wanted that little witch to be burnt alive, and she wanted Saemon to watch before he too would be set alight for a fiery death. It would cause her eternal happiness to see his tears shed and for herself to watch that pasty fleshy guard to turn into a crispy delight: nothing would give the sadistic Queen more pleasure. "You've already got your little bitch back there to take care of? Now, tell me, why are you wasting your own time by tailgating me-" She would turn with a crazed look of exaggerated happiness, and clap her hands together with a sudden realization; "Oh, that's right! I bet you're wanting to fuck me too, that way you'll keep up with another affair! Of course!"

Thoughts ran through Koho's head with such things as, 'will only one of us be leaving here tonight' but that question would be answered by a darker voice in the back of her head. Of course only one would be leaving here tonight, after all, Koho was already dead from the inside.

"You disgust me."​

 

[Hanone]

He hadn't expected her to be taking it well, whatever ''it' ended up being. The tall man stood a few steps away from her, knowing now she had heard and been confirmed about his relations with Kitanai, but what exactly Kitanai had said to him was beyond his knowledge at the moment. She was a jealous woman too, and knew of Koho. He could surmise she may have said more than was true; not that it mattered now.

Saemon's own expression was a dull, quiet mask and unbridled, he crossed his arms over his chest which was a reflexive response of one wanting self preservation and to be physically or emotionally closed off. His insides were burning.

Behind it all, he didn't think she didn't love him anymore. She hated him, but the fact remained that she hadn't asked him at all. It was the last thought that snapped a little string of restraint within him, the thread that always held back his anger toward her. Dull blue eyes turned dark in the crystal lit night air. The canel flushed the area with the smell of freshness that this cave needed. The water made a breeze that ruffled the edges of her dress and red hair. 'I love you.' He thought, then stepped away from his mental shelf.

He had never harmed her physically, he still wore the deep gashes she'd caused to his body that morning without a care. His mouth had never uttered a word that could break her soul, because he would not harm her. She did not know who she was to him... and even up until the very moment, he was certain she had never loved him the same way he had loved and adored her. So she had hurt him so badly in every way possible. But losing her? It was a wound he could not handle. And he would fight her, step off that shelf and unleash whatever side of him he had to; she would hear him out, she would understand. This wasn't just about her. The trick was to stay on task, don't let emotion take you over until you say what you don't mean to say, do what you can't take back.

As he stepped from the shelf, he stepped forward, his arms loosening and coming back to his sides. He did not touch her, but he stood close enough that if she wanted to, she would be able to strike him. "You know nothing, Koho." he bore his gaze onto her face, what he could see and would not relent. His eyes sought hers. He had nothing left to hide. "You abandoned me here and went to slip between the sheets of another man, again. I am not your property." Rage built within him and he slammed his fist down upon the rail she leaned on, denting it where his hand made impact. The veins in his neck were raised and his muscles were tense. "Why am I following you? Because you ran out and did whatever you want again. You could not as ALWAYS show me a hint of respect, give me half your mind before barreling off to attack someone else on a whim." Of course, attack in the case of verbal and threaten.

His anger welled up and he was forced to grip the dented steel. It started to give under the pressure. "The fuck have you ever done to me, Koho! You make me chase you, beg for you. I bleed for you, I have died for you." Yes, he had been dead once, on the table of the medical department and they barely brought him back. "And you could do nothing but think of yourself. Tell me, did you love the way Muji's cock felt in you when you knew I was still outside watching guard? Did it thrill you to know you were tearing me apart inside? Did you relish the pain I tried to hide?"

"I'm sure you were so eager to be that water shinobi's wife, you'd all but thrown me away without more than a mere thought. Saemon, your ever loyal puppy dog. Saemon who would never tell you no. You do not know what I feel, what I have been doing and you would, as always, throw me away rather than ask me. You do not love me. You never have."

Saemon was not a man of words, but there were many this night. The image of the towering man brought the eyes of passersbyers, but they all quickly moved along, not wanting a part of whatever was happening.

 

[Honma Kotone]

"I went to be with another man?! Are you joking?!" Koho would scream, "I was tied down to men that used me as their pawn; I clawed my way out of there because I was going to die! I waited for days, weeks and months to be with you but you never came! You were to meet with me, but you wanted to stay in this god forsaken Village, for whatever reason?! Now I see that you only wanted to stay to fuck one of those two girls, isn't that right?!" She would push herself towards the masculine figure, lifting her hand to slap the man but not actually going through with the physical connection. He wasn't worth any a shred of energy, not anymore. Koho stepped away from Saemon, the thought of being this close to him made her gag a little.

The man went onto talk about respect, and how he was never shown any. He mentioned Muji, which she could only laugh at, "And all the while you had two women on the go? My heart bleeds for you, Saemon, it really does! Except, I didn't love him! I only loved you, the only person that could ever make my mess of an existence worth anything! And now you've killed me, you've killed what I had for you because you didn't come for me! A year I waited in the darkness, a year I was pushed around and made out to be someone's possession; their trophy fiance! And it killed me to know that you were out there somewhere, maybe lost, but maybe somewhere looking for me!"

Koho's face was reddened, her eyes bubbling up, but she couldn't do this anymore... She really couldn't...

"If you think that I never loved you then I want you to leave, right now. I don't want to see your face ever again, Saemon. I want you to go back to that little bitch and live happily ever after. GO."

 

[Hanone]

It hurt to hurt her, to push her further, but what else could he do? He had wanted her to hit him, to strike out and let some of her tension go. But she did not and he almost hit her to make her attack him. But he did not. His hand tightened on the steel bar, twisting it and molding it into the fit of his palm and fingers.

How much are you going to try, Saemon? Are you going to let her walk away from you? She won't listen; she never does. She never will..

But he couldn't stop or let go. He loved her, had branded his body with words of eternity for her. So he let go of the steel bar and looked away from her, into the water. Clear, cool... And his voice was defeated. "Believe what you like. I have spent time around Kitanai and Mio. I kissed Kitanai once but since you left, I haven't fucked either of them. Not once. Imagine whatever you want of me. Imagine I have slighted you and made you something less than you are." He could smell her emotions and was sickened by it so he opened his mouth and crack and breathed only from between his parted lips.

He lied to himself, he couldn't do it. He couldn't release his rage on her or hurt her anymore than he had. as swiftly as he let himself, he went right back onto that shelf. He was her servant and nothing would change that. Her grip on him was ironclad.

"Do what you want, Koho. Believe whatever you want. I love you."

 

[Honma Kotone]

Landslide​

"You don't understand, do you... Saemon..." Koho would look away, "You already gave up on me, and didn't attempt to find me, I can't allow a man like that to own my heart." She would admit, holding back the floodgates, as she arched her body over the railing in a quite unladylike manner. She truly loved Saemon with all her heart, all that she was worth, and it absolutely broke her to know that he had fallen for someone else and she didn't even get the chance to fight for him. He was someone that kept her world somewhat normal, grounded even, and she couldn't even stop herself losing him. "You didn't need to touch them to break my heart, no... Our heart."

Koho would spin around slowly, a smile on her saddened face, "Be with her, it's for the best." She lied, wholeheartedly. She needed him, entirely, and to lose him was to lose her world but Koho realized that, despite his adultery, he didn't deserve to be with the 3rd - he deserved safety. "I'm too old, too grumpy and too selfish to fight against a young girl for your heart." Her smile dominant, a sympathetic look that she displayed, as her reddened eyes lit up with a little bit of life; which was ironic considering from this point onward, a monster was born.

"I'm sorry I never treated you properly, I'm sorry I left without taking you with me, I'm sorry for a lot of things, Saemon." She would smile thinking back to when they first met during their exams, where they hated each other for a period of time. "I'm revoking your duty to the Makeoshimi. You are no longer required for service to myself, Makeoshimi Koho the 3rd Daughter of the 3rd King." Koho would nod her head, approach her former lover, and unsheathe her blade, settling its body upon his muscular shoulder as if he was being knighted. "And just so you know, I've never been so in love with someone like I was with you..."

After a few moments, the silence would fall into place, and the 3rd would have simply faded from existence. Saemon, being an Anbu member, would be able to trace her location to that of a few blocks away after she had performed some high-speed technique gingerly. He was a man, a beautiful and devout man, so he would have to restrain himself - if he followed her trace - as the mighty, ambitious and utterly monstrous Queen curled up in an alleyway, against a brick wall, sobbing in such a pathetic way that even the coldest of hearts would melt.

[Topic Left </3]​

 

[Hanone]

He stood there, just stood there, his head hanging down to his chest as she left him there.. left him behind again. He felt the world shatter around him. Fragile glass and broken fragments. The man who never cried, even facing death let his queen walk away.

When she was out of his sight, or rather he was out of hers, he sank to the ground. His hands laid cradled in his lap and for the first time since he saw the head of the greatest man of his life rolling on the ground before his feet, he cried. Small, wet splashes hit his skin. The coarse shape of his calloused palms made them puddle in the center of each upturned hand.

He has been a boy, whipped by his own jealousy, comforted by the idea that she was leaving him behind as the okay to look elsewhere. No, everything about his reasons were childish lies he told himself and others. He was selfish, brutal and deserved this. Whatever her transgressions against him, whatever he perceived didn't matter. He had vowed more than just to be her bodyguard or lover, he had vowed with his being to be her knight, to stand by her and he hadn't done that. He hadn't followed her. He should have faced the wrath of the ANBU for fleeing, killed the ones who stood in his way if need be, but he relied on excuses. Are you surprised she was contracted to marry someone else? Where WERE you?!

Bitter anguish threatened to cripple him, welled within him like a water serpent and bit along his insides with venom. Bile rose up his throat and burned...

A woman passing by stalled to look at Saemon. Her face showed pity and concern. He saw it as he looked up at her and he was stricken with a sour hate for it. No.. no this was not the way.

He came to his feet, ignoring the wetness on his cheeks and followed her, chasing her down with the ease of a predator. She was not far from where they had been, curled up against a wall. She was crying, tears he'd caused, sorrow he'd slashed through her. He came before her quickly, using the speed trained into him without restraint and towered over her small form. His fist hit the brick wall to her left, shattering the stone, then slammed his other fist into the place on the other side.

Either fist crashed into the wall over and over until his knuckles split from pinky to index and blood splattered over the ground. Small rocks, pebbles really, rained down over her and around her. Finally he stopped and tore the shirt from his back. It was not an act of a man wanting to seem more manly or imposing, but to expose the skin on his side. He crouched before her, putting either bloody hand to either side of her, caging her in. His face was a broken man's. The trail of tears was lessened but still there. His voice broke when he spoke to her, but he did not relent it and pushed through with harsh resolve and certainty. "You can put a knife between my ribs, slash my throat, tear out my heart. What I am is yours, but I'm not letting you walk away. I will never leave you again. Even if you send me away, curse my name, you have to kill me to be rid of me. None shall walk in the Palace of my affection, as the Red Queen of my desire." He quoted the tattoo at his side, one she hadn't seen before. It was something he'd put there almost a year back. It was there to remind him, to remind others and he'd God Damned forgotten.


[stopped]

 

[Honma Kotone]

The Narrative - Eyes Closed<i></i>​

He's gone now, he's released and he'll be happier now without the shackles of love; a unfair democracy that was always one-sided. Everything would get better from there on in, right? If that was so then why did her heart absolutely burn with such an unreasonable amount of pain? She felt so encumbered by, what would be depicted as a gut-wrenching feeling, that she had finally lost her world for good now. But wasn't it for the better? Saemon would have a partner that he could rely on, someone not as unpredictable and, lets face it, as crazy. It was the right thing to do, she would convince herself as she cuddled the wall, sobbing at the loss. And for a moment, which felt like an eternity, her thoughts casted to conversations that dwelled on subject matters such as: families, children, settling down and becoming old - ideals that would never be for now and forever.

Suddenly, a strange combustion of the earthen walls would cause debris to rain down upon her, and her silky white apparel. She would lift her head, confused and shocked somewhat, but altogether not really 'with it'. Koho would soon come to see Saemon, standing there before here, his knuckles blistered with pain and seeping blood. She would take a gulp of dry mouth, finding it hard to breath, whether that was due to the emotions or shock was unknown. He tore his shirt, which revealed his skin and a new tattoo - which was obvious given that Koho would often explore his body in interesting and, well, slightly unpleasant ways. Saemon would cage her in, quite literally, and she would turn her head in a gesture of stubbornness. However his words would only melt her gesture causing her to bubble down into a melting pot of emotions.

His new tattoo, he spoke its printed words, and made his point very clear: he wasn't going anywhere. But could their relationship be rebuilt? They both had made mistakes, they both were sorry and both needed to change - this was their chance to do so. Koho, as a woman and a person in general, wouldn't be able to shake the feeling that the two girls were always going to play a part in his life. "Saemon..." Koho would utter his name, her reddened sores glazing over the broken man's face that looked very much like hers, "How far have we both fallen...?" She would smile, placing one hand against his ruff face and stroking her finger against his skin. Her eyes, glazed, would admire Saemon's beauty as if he was the most valuable diamond or, well, the best looking scrubber ever.

No, this was their story of love, turmoil and bewilderment of the human-kind. This was something that ought to be fought for!

"Marry me!" Koho would exclaim passionately.

 

[Hanone]

He stood above her, reached around her, staring at her beautiful, fractured face. They were mirrors of misery, and matching hearts. She loved him, he knew it, he saw it and... he heard it.

He gave a surprised blink, stalling the pain in his face; stalling everything in its path.

A flash of his life crossed his mind. Images of his mother and father, happy and in love. The image of his father's head on the ground and his mother's sheer tumble into misery. Years of abuse.. neglect from there.. his loathing. His tumble into sex and drugs... the way she was now, a shell.

He didn't mean to marry. He was scared of it, found the commitment to only end in pain. He had been afraid to commit that much...

But hadn't he also bought her the thing that was burning a hole in his pocket? What else would there have been a purpose for it. Saemon reached down into his right pant's pocket. It was the only thing there so he didn't have to fish for it. After his bloody hand curled around it, he withdrew it and dropped to his knees on the hard ground, ignoring the sting. He couldn't help his hand from quivering as he took her left hand and slipped the ruby, diamond ring on her 3rd finger there. It fit, maybe it was a little big, but it was close enough he hoped.

Spoiler

"Until the sun burns out, the oceans turn red, the trees wither away and the sands overtake the earth, I will love you and no other. I want you to be my wife, yes." He made a silent apology to Kitanai and Mio, but the decision was made and he would uphold his heart and hers.

 

[Honma Kotone]

Saemon did the unexpected, he wasn't a man to marry, but he took out a manifestation of sheer beauty from his pocket, and did the impossible. Koho's eyes reddened before bleeding more salty streams. Complete disbelief wasn't a phrase that could describe the 3rd's facial expression and what she felt on the inside; her heart began to pump, that last little piece began to jump start back into life. Marriage was a serious thing to Koho, to a lot of people, and she heavily suspected that Saemon knew how important this was to them both. The road that they walked on, till this point, was bumpy and painful but finally the two lovers were reunited. "Till the skies turn black and empty, and long after I draw my last breath, I will love you, Saemon." Koho smiled as she allowed the ring to placed onto her finger causing her to bubble over.

Everything was going to change from this point onward; the 3rd had a new sense of humanity, no longer would she be the same vile cretin. This woman was going to be a wife, and as such, needed to act like a respectable woman. Forever she would protect what was hers; Saemon. He was no item, no possession, he did not equate to a mass of land or even the burning stars farther than the eye could see: he meant far more to Koho than one would ever know. "I won't let you go again, I can't lose you, okay?!" She would exclaim, stating her resolution to protect her lover, occasionally looking at that fantastic piece of ruby jewelry.

Koho would attempt to pull herself, and him, up from the ground. She would tangle her little paw against his. "Let's start fresh... Past sins are washed away, okay?"

 

[Hanone]

The tears on her face were no longer ones of pain, but of rejoice. His heart soared with hers, embracing the new life and ushering away the past in a hazy cloud. He was in this moment now, no other. Her hand in his, his body being pulled to his feet and in the process, he would encompass hers with his own. His arms held onto her vice tight. He would never let her go...

"Yes, my goddess. Let the past take it all." he uttered, smelling her hair and natural scent that could drive him to a madness or lull him into safety. He was content to hold her for an eternity. It seemed as though the terror, rage and pain was a fuzzy memory already; surreal. Maybe it never happened.

When he finally pulled back, he kept the slim woman at his arm's reach, his hands on her arms. Her looked down at her streaked face and saw her. They could be together, finally and truly. Was it not his dream? Was this not what he fought for? So why was there is nagging panic coming to rise within him?

No, he knew, didn't he? He was always a man who faced the truth in his own mind. He never hid from his own worries, past or pain to himself. Maybe to others, but to himself... he had vowed himself to her. His heart would always be hers, his body as well but the ring, the marriage? Once the passion had died back to a soft normalcy, it came to him. He did not regret choosing this path, but he did fear it. His mother, his father... his brother. Would he let her down? Would he die and leave her alone, broken?

He didn't want to think about those things now, no matter how much they tried to force themselves to his mental plate. He pushed them back. "I will deal with you later, but my word is my word, craven." he told himself.

What he told her was much more simple. "Koho, shall I take you home?"

 

[Honma Kotone]

For this one brief moment, the 3rd was content with her self and the life that was forcibly given all those years ago. Her strong-armed man would lift her slender frame up without much effort; it was always too easy for him to do that. However, despite their moment of tranquility and beauty - there was still a feeling of unease coming from Saemon. She knew his views on marriage were a little fractured, and he wasn't too amused by the thought of it, but there was something tense about his body. He felt a little stiffer, perhaps sad, in some way. Koho's mind would drift onto the other two damsels that he caged in with his arms, just like what he would do with his Queen. She was but a number now and the sheer thought caused her to gag a little. He had cheated on her with two women, he shared intimate moments and hadn't searched for his wife-to-be... Why were all these emotions crawling back after such a moment of beauty? The answer would be obvious, yet invisible to the woman and the man. It was a travesty and a solemnity all at the same time.

"We shall..." She would meekly say as her own arms embraced his strong frame. She felt awkward, she felt foreign, to even give her lover a hug after the revelations came forth. All Koho could think about was that another woman, well women, had clambered their claws against his flesh and ingrained their salts upon his skin; it disgusted her. Maybe to his surprise, the woman would break the embrace and stare emptily into his big, soulless eyes; her own still broken and withered due to a broken heart. This much was entirely obvious. Her steps were soft, yet skidding against the grains of the Sunan streets.

It was clear that Koho was now a very conflicted woman.

[Topic left w/ Saemon]
[MFT]

 

[Hanone]

The spell was over as fast as it started, dropping him back to reality. He loved her, he wanted her, he just agreed to marry her... It bit at his conscious like a predator. Fear... what a foul thing.

He tried to smash it back down, to hide it back in the recesses of his mind. He would do it for her.. he would do anything for her, wouldn't he?

His doubts were written in her eyes as a mirror of his own thoughts. She was as unsure after the moment passed as he was. There was only one thing to do; take her home as he'd promised. He felt the loss of her when her arms left his body and for some reason... he thought despite what he'd promised, what she'd asked, it might be the last time he felt them.

[topic left. bleh]