Neko groaned rolling in the desert's course sand, her eyes fluttering open to the sun beaming down on her. She looked around at the familiar oasis she had woken in, this place held far too many memories to forget. Her eyes widened realizing that she had woken this far from home, a confused look landing on her face as that fact set in. But, there was more cause for concern, the voice she had heard calling her to awaken was both foreign and familiar all at once. Her eyes darted around in search for the source.
"Over here, come get some water so we can have a chat okay?"
There it was, echoing out from the still waters in front of her, that voice like a sirens call. Still her eyes found no source for the voice, an illusion or trick of the mind from the heat. That's what kept repeating in her head, but the water seemed so inviting she had no choice but to stand and attempt to cool down. She made her way to the waters edge, kneeling and splashing her face with the cool crystal clear water that filled this oasis. The water woke her certainly, allowing her to catch her breath and relax just for a minute.
"Listen I haven't got all day to play nice, hurry the fuck up and look down already."
Her body froze, as the voice was so distinct now it sounded like it came from directly beneath her. Her hair stood on end, as goosebumps rose on her skin, trembling her eyes flickered downward toward the sound of the voice. Beneath her was simply the crystalline reflection on the water's surface, dancing slightly from where her hand caused the glass like surface to ripple upon entry. The reflection was her own, nothing alarming in itself, but like watching something mimic human behavior it set off all the warning bells inside Neko's head. That's when she noticed something, her reflections scars were freshly opened, as if they were in a constant state of bleeding. Her hand rose to her face, reaching her fingers to the now smooth surface of her skin. None of this added up, everything was screaming inside her to tuck her tail and run. But when she looked back down, her reflection let her know that would be useless.
Its mouth opened as the words began to poor out from the water as if Neko herself was now speaking them, "Listen kiddo, you're supposed to be dead. That simple. So I'd really appreciate it if you'd go back to being that way okay?"
Neko fell back and instinctively let out a scream, the most natural response given the severity of this situation. She crawled away from the water as she watched a hand slowly rise out from its mirror like surface. The hand turning to an arm, then like pulling one's self throw a window it placed its hand down on the water and pushed. In a moment Neko was now staring at herself, or what appeared to be that by all accounts, as it made its way toward her crossing its arms behind its back. Its feet never broke the water's surface as it moved, not rippling like it was actually there either, simply gliding like a ballerina moving across stage to meet her dancing partner.
"Neko, you really should've just stayed dead, this whole showing up once we've accomplished so much, thing is getting old fast."
"Wha.. What are you.."
"Don't be dumb, you know me. I am you. Well the you that anyone gives a damn about. The you, you made. The you that took over once you had nothing more to give. Not this sobbing pathetic routine that claims to be you."
"Fu.."
"What? Off? No, I don't think so. See we had it all going for us, then you let your walls down and showed up for a minute, and now? You think you can just replace me? No I fought too hard, gave up too much. YOu gave nothing, you are nothing."
"Shut Up!"
"Why? Making too much sense for you? One guy pays attention and wht we just throw it away? THIS CANNOT HAPPEN TWICE UNDERSTAND ME?!"
The duplicate closed the distance between the two with unnatural quickness, grabbing Neko by th face and holding her attention. "We have plans Neko, WE not just you, understand? We cannot afford to fail this. You need to shut up and let me do what needs to be done for us to survive!"
"NO!" Neko snapped causing the duplicate to falter and look frightened for a moment, "This is my life, I am not some scared little girl anymore, you have no control over me! Nothing does, I am a shinobi but I am a person too! I won't sit here and let some bullshit manifestation take my life, I want to live!"
The words echoed as they had once before here, her memory flashed with the day that everything changed for her. They day she first refused to let her fate be in the hands of another, and how she felt. The scream of her childhood self, repeating the same phrase in a moment of desperation. "I want to live!"
She stood staring at the false Neko who was simply staring back, the pair stood directly mirroring each other with the static silence between them. Finally Neko broke the silence, "We don't need to be cold and heartless.. We need to be happy and able to do what we want, it will kill us to stay this way."
"I.. I'm scared.." They both were now speaking in unison, no longer feeling as if they were two different beings but rather two sides of the same coin. "I am terrified to let people in again, but it won't kill me.. I need people in my life or I will become that monster they see."
Neko shot up in bed, a cold sweat pouring down her face. The nightmare was over but the fact of the matter was it had felt so real. She reached up and felt her scars, ever present across her face still. Her fingers traced them for a moment as she was lost in thought. She had seen herself in what could have been, a more fragile and weakened state, and what could yet be, the cold and monstrous version of herself that was screaming for her to bury it all inside. Both were potential outcomes for her life, but neither were what she wanted herself to become. Rather, she would need to find that balance between for the ability to live her life according to her own ways. Had this all been triggered by one conversation, no she didn't think that could be the case. It had always been this way, she was just now seeing it for what it was, her mind and heart desperately calling out for her to find the bridge between and live.
She looked out to the moonlit sky from her bed, still sitting in her bed not truly willing to lay back down for more sleep. She probably woke Sumire with her scream, but maybe if she just laid still for a bit, it would be more evident if she had or not. She waited and with the silence in the air she had her answer, that one relief in all this mess. She got up and opened her window, slipping out it into the alleyway behind their home. She lit a cigarette and leaned heavily against the wall for a minute, simply soaking in the cooler night air and twinkling stars. She needed the air, her heart was still pounding like she had just ran a marathon. She had so many thoughts but she needed it to rest for the night, it had already been far too much excitement for her evening. She took a long drag off the cigarette, the smoke drifting slowly up her face as the orange glow illuminated her once more. With her exhale she let out an exaserbated, "That's it, no more coffee before bed. I cannot have that happen again." As she spoke into the night the air seemed so still and silent around her. It was a honestly welcoming feeling to have nothing respond to her words in that moment, especially given the contents of her dream.
She looked over to see something hanging around in the trash can, she raised a brow and leaned down to get a better look. As she did a small kitten came walking out of the trash, a piece of scrap food dangling from its mouth. She smiled and held out her hand, as it finished its food it wandered up to her and rubbed against her hand. "Just you and me Kitten, two alley cats trying to find some damned peace and quiet huh?" The cat curled up at her feet as she too sat down on the ground, crossing her legs with her back to the wall. She would spend the rest of the eveneing there looking at the cat and the stars, completely lost in thought
[using random success card from inventory]
[wc 1530]