If the battle with that other shinobi had shown Shigeru anything it was that he could not control his power by himself any longer. He simply didn’t have the strength to fight against the roiling fire inside his body that threatened to all but consume his very being. When he had attempted before to fight against his very own chakra, his chakra had very much beaten him back soundly and without struggle. Simply put, Shigeru wasn’t strong enough to fight. That knowledge crushed him almost completely. Even now as the world around him was preparing for a long night of slumber, Shigeru only tossed and turned in his small home. He felt almost like he no longer belonged in this part of the village any longer. If he couldn’t control his own strength, didn’t he just deserve to be thrown out with the trash? This question pressed against his temples as he vainly tried to fall asleep to no avail. This was clearly not working.
Sighing to himself, Shigeru got up from his sleeping position and begrudgingly made his way to his small kitchen. Within, Shigeru made himself a quick cup of something akin to coffee, though it never truly tasted that way, and as the bitter liquid burned his throat, Shigeru decided that he would take a walk through the forest. That place had always brought him solace in the past, and now Shigeru needed it to bring him strength. Soon after his bad beans, Shigeru was out his door and walking along the empty streets of Kumogakure. Once it got late enough the villagers stopped coming out, even though it wasn’t true dark. However, this day, Shigeru was happy that there was no one to see him in his sorry state. The walk was lonely, though, without those interactions, and Shigeru was left feeling incomplete as he approached the entrance to the great forest that he frequented the most.
Looking up, as he always did, Shigeru stood for a moment and just marveled at the beauty of the forest. In the waxing moonlight, the whole place had a beautiful hue that gave it the sense of some otherworldly kingdom, one not so attached to the problems that Shigeru faced now. Happy to run from his troubles, Shigeru walked into the forest. It wasn’t long before the comforting closeness of the forest became cloying to his soul. Here in this place, one laid themselves bare for the world, because being alone made being open so much easier. So Shigeru cried a little, though that was not the true emotion he was feeling. Frustration. Yes that was it. As Shigeru walked deeper into the forest, he beat his hands against the great trunks that did little but thud in response. How could he be so weak? How could he not control the very power that dwelled inside of him? It was his power, was it not? His hands beat harder, the wood biting against his fist. He needed to control his own power, and to do that he needed more power; how would he attain such power? A cry of frustration tore from Shigeru’s lips, one riddled with desperation and fear for the future.
Loathing his own incompetence, Shigeru proceeded deeper into the woods, so deep that the moon itself had been blotted out leaving only the heady darkness to befriend the weary travelers below. Shigeru did not care, for the darkness was his friend. His whole life darkness had been there, and his whole life Shigeru had made friends with the darkness he could so easily drive back. Why not befriend something when you know the key to defeating it? The darkness couldn’t harm him, so he instead chose to embrace that. Now, in this forest, Shigeru did not feel as if he could drive that darkness back. Instead the darkness bared its fangs against Shigeru, driving him to the ground, the weight of his powerlessness keeping him down. Atlas himself had no greater weight placed upon him, and even he could not move from his burden. So Shigeru sat there on his knees in the forest that wished for nothing more than him to disappear.
“Why can’t I just be stronger? My village needs me! I need the strength to help them! Why can’t I just get stronger! I will do whatever it takes!” Shigeru cried out to no one in particular, the only one with him was the forest after all. There would be no rallying cry to his need. Nothing would come to grant him power. He would sit here and the forest would swallow him up.
Sighing to himself, Shigeru got up from his sleeping position and begrudgingly made his way to his small kitchen. Within, Shigeru made himself a quick cup of something akin to coffee, though it never truly tasted that way, and as the bitter liquid burned his throat, Shigeru decided that he would take a walk through the forest. That place had always brought him solace in the past, and now Shigeru needed it to bring him strength. Soon after his bad beans, Shigeru was out his door and walking along the empty streets of Kumogakure. Once it got late enough the villagers stopped coming out, even though it wasn’t true dark. However, this day, Shigeru was happy that there was no one to see him in his sorry state. The walk was lonely, though, without those interactions, and Shigeru was left feeling incomplete as he approached the entrance to the great forest that he frequented the most.
Looking up, as he always did, Shigeru stood for a moment and just marveled at the beauty of the forest. In the waxing moonlight, the whole place had a beautiful hue that gave it the sense of some otherworldly kingdom, one not so attached to the problems that Shigeru faced now. Happy to run from his troubles, Shigeru walked into the forest. It wasn’t long before the comforting closeness of the forest became cloying to his soul. Here in this place, one laid themselves bare for the world, because being alone made being open so much easier. So Shigeru cried a little, though that was not the true emotion he was feeling. Frustration. Yes that was it. As Shigeru walked deeper into the forest, he beat his hands against the great trunks that did little but thud in response. How could he be so weak? How could he not control the very power that dwelled inside of him? It was his power, was it not? His hands beat harder, the wood biting against his fist. He needed to control his own power, and to do that he needed more power; how would he attain such power? A cry of frustration tore from Shigeru’s lips, one riddled with desperation and fear for the future.
Loathing his own incompetence, Shigeru proceeded deeper into the woods, so deep that the moon itself had been blotted out leaving only the heady darkness to befriend the weary travelers below. Shigeru did not care, for the darkness was his friend. His whole life darkness had been there, and his whole life Shigeru had made friends with the darkness he could so easily drive back. Why not befriend something when you know the key to defeating it? The darkness couldn’t harm him, so he instead chose to embrace that. Now, in this forest, Shigeru did not feel as if he could drive that darkness back. Instead the darkness bared its fangs against Shigeru, driving him to the ground, the weight of his powerlessness keeping him down. Atlas himself had no greater weight placed upon him, and even he could not move from his burden. So Shigeru sat there on his knees in the forest that wished for nothing more than him to disappear.
“Why can’t I just be stronger? My village needs me! I need the strength to help them! Why can’t I just get stronger! I will do whatever it takes!” Shigeru cried out to no one in particular, the only one with him was the forest after all. There would be no rallying cry to his need. Nothing would come to grant him power. He would sit here and the forest would swallow him up.