松子
MATSUKO
of Cloud
of Cloud
Age: 10 years old
Sex & Gender: Female
Rank: Academy Student
Physical: Standing at 4'3" (133 centimeters) and weighing in around 50 pounds (22.7 kilograms), Matsuko is much smaller and skinnier than she should be at her age. Her dark skin radiates with warm tones after a hearty meal, but most of the time, she looks a bit sallow and heavy-eyed. Her nails are bit to the quick, and whether that's out of a personal nervous habit or inherent brittleness is up to debate.
Her small frame puts her at a slight natural advantage when it comes to moving quietly, and indeed, she's embraced that inclination; you can read her precision steps, her meticulous digits, and the weight of importance in movements made as a natural coping strategy in the world of being seen rather than heard. She even tries, unconsciously, to keep her breathing and expression at an unoffensive default, but, well, she's ten.
So that works out as often and well as you think it possibly could.
Other than her inherent mousiness and less-inherent malnourishment, the shards of beauty are littered throughout Matsuko's being. The potential is there. Her tight curls, usually kept in sets of braids on each side of her head, are glossy with little more than a biweekly cleaning. Her eyes, though weighted, are perhaps striking even more for that; a bright honeyed brown that is much lighter, much more hopeful than the bags under them intone. Her hands will always be slender, sharp, frequent meals or no. An open-mouth smile is rare, but she wears it so naturally, you'd think she's used to that level of overwhelming happiness.
The one area that really shows her age (and perhaps her core self) is her sense of style and fashion. Not that Matsuko wears what she really desires to; most often, she sports plain black and white cotton, or beige, burlap-esque fabrics, as they are cheapest. Beware, though, should you go shopping with her. The girl will drag you through rows and rows of flowery furisodes, carnation pink & violet kimonos, skirts that move in the wind and are as blue as a summer sky. She loves bright colors, loose fabrics, and cutesy patterns.
Personality: Matsuko, for a large portion of her life, has been put unfairly into a position of responsibility. As a result, she's taken up the mantle of being observant and attentive to others' needs. Neurotic to a fault, Matsuko helplessly permits her mind to construct endless scenarios in social and personal realms, scenarios both good and bad, then evaluates them one-by-one. Ideally, she stocks for them as well. Mostly, at her age, it's paralyzing.
At her best, in the full swing of action rather than thought, she's the first one to offer a bandage, advice, or assistance. Sometimes, if invested even slightly, she might cross the line from considerate to bossy and forceful. She's often had to force food, drink, medicine, or self-care onto her caretaker, and although she keeps a fair distance from her classmates, she craves kinship enough for that habit to follow into other relationships.
Speaking of, the only forces powerful enough to keep her from seeking out the friendship she yearns so badly for are debt and loyalty; forces that have shaped Matsuko from her very first steps. Matsuko will never be the type to break an honest promise, and sometimes, her reticence to devote herself wholeheartedly could be seen as apathy when it is merely consideration. She is highly aware of that which she owes, and that which might one day be owed to her. It's hard for her to let issues go unfinished or ends untied, and because of her caretaker's demanding nature, she can often take an act of giving or kindness as a debt to be repaid.
For better or worse, her upbringing allows her to see the brutal, deterministic nature of Kumogakure (and the governing system in general) as mostly natural. Her caretaker raised her to be critical of the village, but the child-care method she used heavily borrowed from the village in the first place; tough love, spare the rod = spoil the child, etc. Matsuko acknowledges the "survival of the fittest" outlook, fully aware of the unfairness yet enduring it. She knows others are stuck in it as well, and some came willingly like she did, but that you must do what you have to in order to survive.
Obviously, she disapproves of it. Especially given that it lies in contrast to the very reason she came to appreciate Kumogakure; the casual coziness that people fall into when they're at ease, the chatting over tea, the love that is both threatened and kept afloat by the demand for blood. Not unlike the relationship with her caretaker, Matsuko is between born-and-bred loyalty and justified, pain-caused criticism towards Kumogakure, without actually having the age or critical thinking skills to wrestle with that dilemma.
History: "Why do you care so much about people weak enough to die on you, Matsuko? Just because they were your blood?"
Matsuko, born to deceased parents of an unknown clan ffshoot, has been raised since infancy under adoptive care. It was never a matter of uncertainty; her caretaker, Rin Yamashita, disallowed the use of the Yamashita name and made it verbally clear. Matsuko herself knows little of the circumstances that put her in Miss Rin's hands -- the classic rainy night, the blood on the ground, the crying child hidden at the base of the pine trees. The caretaker, now decrepit, spends her days in the dark muttering in curses and hisses about her own village, of which she lives on the outskirts. Whatever good will allowed Matsuko to fall into safe hands has worn down to pitied tolerance, as she fulfills a proclaimed debt to her caretaker by functioning as a messenger girl.
"Anyone else in this godforsaken village would've killed you, sapling. I could've. That's how we are. We were born rotten."
Seeing Kumogakure through eyes fed on cynicism and distrust didn't dull the bright wonder of lights, of many moving, chattering bodies. She said they were all bad, but they would smile at Matsuko each time she left their shops, and it made her feel so happy. Was it bad if that made her happy, if bad people did? If bad people made her happy, was she bad too?
Were they bad people at all?
"You applied? After everything you know, you applied to become one of them? Why, you... you, YOU, you little--"
Matsuko hated watching Rin cry. She cried plenty, and had plenty to cry about, but it was terrible to watch. The tears fell so far into her wrinkles, and the wetness on her paper skin made her look ill every time, just as sweat did. Matsuko hated making her cry, and then there was a part of her, too, that knew she deserved it. And she hated that feeling even more.
She'd tried to reach out, put her hand on her shoulder. Matsuko wanted warmth, that was all. From anyone.
Some time has passed. There's just an old scar on her hand now, and Rin lets her back in the house. Not that she visits there much. The academy suits her better; even if, out of some lingering commitment to her caretaker's words, Matsuko keeps her head down and her scores lower. It doesn't make any friends, but it's okay for now. It'll be different someday. The commitment wavers whenever she sees others enjoying themselves, shining in their skills; the desire for warmth grows every day. And as cold as the mountains are, she knows she can seize that warmth. She has to believe she can. She can, right?
