"Welcome Mind Crushers to a new news segment that will be tackling the lies that the nin-ja world doesn't want you hearing. Now to start, I am legally obligated to state that I have NO relation to the Raikage. What the government CAN'T make me say is that I am an inferior man to him. I CAN say that he WISHES he were this much of a man. A HOT-BLOODED. LIGHTNING. MAN! HRAAAAAAAAWR!"
...
"Today folks, we're gonna talk about illegal voting. Word on the street is that the nin-jas are conducting an evaluation. It seems like big changes are coming, and we need to be involved Mind Crushers, because we can't let those non-citizens make the decisions. Lightning first! So what we need to do, is get out there, and give them a piece of our mind. It's our village, and without us, they've got nothing. They need to hear that we don't want them infusing chakra into the snow that turns the bears nuclear! So get out there and give them the old MIND CRUSH!"
"But in order to bring you these important truths, Mind Crush needs that funding. So what you can do, is head on over the Mind Crush Market and pick up a top of the line, deluxe Special Camo Composition. As citizens, it's our Shinbatsu-given right to conceal, don't feel, and carry. With our unique augment, you can one punch with the fists of a Lightning God, or get enemies wet with your sword. Only at the Mind Crush Market, or give us a radio at MC-01."
...
"That's it for today. Keep crushing, Mind Crushers."
"Bankai Yumers out."
OoC said: