His eyes slowly parted to stare up into a congested ceiling of roots and earth, small rays of moonlight managing to penetrate through the organic maze did little to illuminate where he lay. Vision was slow to adapt to the night, as even the shadows which the light did allow him to see were blurred for a few moments despite the natural blinks he had attempted to address the problem. The crawl space beneath the forest floor was large enough for his body to move comfortably but wasn't the type of spot where sleeping there hadn't caused his joints to lock up and become sore by the time he awoke. Sitting up with a low groan, his hand suddenly covered his face as his eyes widened and a feeling of dizziness overwhelmed his body. While both eyes would be bombarded by scattering vision, Hotoke's ears would be assaulted by the low pitch of screams, screams filled with pain. This was not something which was new to him, or at least had been new as exactly how long or how much time had passed since arriving in this place had all but been lost. What was constant had been two things here, the sound of screams and the nightmare that follows.
There is something to be said about being a shinobi, more so the "swept under the rug" effects that happen to their brains early in life. Trauma is settled with as a norm while it's effects go either unnoticed or surface in ways that eventually label the person a threat. What happens then when a child is born into a trauma of a different sort. Not the typical trauma founded from battles or losing close friends, but the inability to prevent the pain not of oneself but of others. What becomes of a being who is so drawn up in the notion of a world without pain, that the very definition of painless starts to become manipulated in their minds.....What happens when what it truly means to be painless, starts to rationalize itself in the darkest of ways. Wake up.
WAKE UP!!!!
A loud gasp escaped his lips as he sat up suddenly, doubling over to breath more easily while frantically collecting himself. His fingertips after while would rub along the bridge of his nose into the corner of his eyes. It could not have been more than a few hours since he had rested his head, Hotoke shifting his weight out of the guest bed and shuffling his weight onto the floor. He was reminded that his stay here had to be short since his mission completion meant a hasty return back to the village and a debriefing. Even though his mission was a typical one for medics, being the aid to some isolated village within the country, they still followed the same protocols. This place being the momentary rest stop, as the owner was a cheerful man who had not problem assisting a shinobi from the Leaf village. Rubbing his neck slightly, he'd gather his things and walk out into the main room which had been dark due to the setting night and lack of lanterns or lights. At first he did not think much of it and went to walk towards the door when the sound of a thump followed by a low creaking noise triggered a reflex which he forgot he had. Having been a medic, Hotoke had hardly utilized much of what his body was trained to do and his reflex to the startling noise in the dark caused an involuntary reminder. By the time he blinked, his arm had been stretched out and his vision caught up to body hitting the floor. The dimness of the room did not hide the face of the target, being that of the man who had given him assistance. Lying there with two medical senbon needles protruding from both the heart and kidney area, Hotoke would quickly try and render aid. He may have been a medical shinobi but in that moment he had equally been a shinobi trained to kill and the locations of both needles were aimed for such. He would watch the man's dying agony in person...feel his pain as even his attempts to help seemed to fail. Those few minutes filled with the man's screams seemed to go on for an eternity before becoming quiet. An eternity of screaming and pain which was only helped by the silence of death. An eternity in Hotoke's mind bef----
His eyes slowly parted to stare up into a congested ceiling of roots and earth, small rays of moonlight managing to penetrate through the organic maze did little to illuminate where he lay. Vision was slow to adapt to the night, as even the shadows which the light did allow him to see were blurred for a few moments despite the natural blinks he had attempted to address the problem. The crawl space beneath the forest floor was large enough for his body to move comfortably but wasn't the type of spot where sleeping there was something he would do voluntarily. After all he was only just taking a few moments rest before heading out, though he didn't exactly know where he was going. Sitting up with a low groan, his hand suddenly covered his face as his eyes widened and a feeling of dizziness overwhelmed his body. Something triggered in his mind, "The leaf village" as something of importance. While both eyes would be bombarded by scattering vision, Hotoke's ears would be assaulted by the low pitch of screams, screams filled with pain. This was not something which was new to him, or at least had been new as exactly how long or how much time had passed since arriving in this place had all but been lost. What was constant had been two things here, the sound of screams and the nightmare that follows.
These traumas as youths tend to manifest as crutches later in life or for the lucky ones never at all. But for the unlucky, the debilitating effects can give way to mania episodes and other forms of mental illness. While it is normal for us to ignore the effects of trauma and try to root out the causes instead of the dealing with the consequences, sometimes it awakens as an evolved entity altogether. Sometimes when trauma meets with an individual already prone to dynamic thought, what can manifest is complete mental buy in of an otherwise harmless ideology. What if they start seeing the other ways to see their dreams and goals fulfilled. Ways that are questionable by opinion but not in principle? Ways that others have taken advantage of and ways you can improve upon? What happens when your traumas start to make your dreams into negative functionality? Wake up
WAKE UP!!!!<i></i>
A loud gasp escaped his lips as he sat up suddenly, doubling over to breath more easily while frantically collecting himself. His fingertips after while would rub along the bridge of his nose into the corner of his eyes. It could not have been more than a few hours since he had rested his head, Hotoke shifting his weight out of the guest bed and shuffling his weight onto the floor. He was reminded that his stay here had to be short since his mission completion meant a hasty return back to the village and a debriefing. Even though his mission was a typical one for medics, being the aid to some isolated village within the country, they still followed the same protocols. He was all but grateful to the man who offered a place to stay, but his simple night stay had turned into an extra day or so after Hotoke learned of the daughter's illness. With the situation with his daughter's illness and Hotoke's nature he would have chosen to be late a day or so every single time. Though he made certain to send a messenger bird ahead, he still knew there would be some chastising. Rubbing his neck slightly, he'd gather his things and walk out into the main room where the man and his wife had been resting. The three would share a greeting before Hotoke began to explain to them exactly what it was that he had created. The prior day, he had spent some considerable time overlooking the girl's vitals and asking questions about how she felt and other things from her parent's observations. Luckily enough with his familiarity, he knew some herbal plants around that would be of use after pinpointing the cause as poisoning. After creating the antidote and giving it to the girl, the family had waiting patiently overnight bringing us to where he had woken up. Being morning the couple and him spent some time discussing things and eating a light breakfast before the sounds of pained groans started to fill the room where the girl lay. Immediately concerned, the trio would enter the room finding the girl groaning in what she described as worsening pain. Unsure of the cause, Hotoke would rush over to the girl deciding to use his natural ability to take in the pain of others through his clan's benevolence on the girl to alleviate her. Although he would succeed in sharing her pain, the girl seemed to only become worse..now withering helplessly and screaming out. He felt her pain, he heard her screams to the sound that made his skin rise. He felt trapped in both for seemed to go on for eons. An eternity of shared pain only being wiped away in the moment of the girl's sudden silence. Only in her death did she no longer feel pain....and neither did he. It was strange, it was almost as if death was the answer to pa---
His eyes slowly parted to stare up into a congested ceiling of roots and earth, small rays of sunlight managing to penetrate through the organic maze did well to illuminate the area where he lay. His vision was slow to adapt to the day, as even the shadows which the light did allow did little to stop the light's brightness. He would take a few moments, as several blinks would fix the problem as his eyes adjusted to the light. The crawl space beneath the forest floor was large enough for his body to move comfortably and sleeping there had been something of an experience. Very rarely did he ever get to do such in the field but he had become distracted and ended up helping a family along the way. Having spent more time than he should of, there was only one way to make up the time but to travel into the night and end up sleeping with nature. "I still don't think it was wise to sleep here, a place known to trap the unsuspecting and vulnerable in genjutsu but I had little choice.", he would shrug slightly. Scratching his head, something would feel off to him as he glanced around. It was far warmer than it had been the day before, and he was certain that the trees had lost their leaves for the fall and yet here they were in full bloom of the spring. Or was that just a dream that he had overnight? Just how much time had he spent asleep to have forgotten something so trivial as what season it had been when he arrived here to rest. Dusting himself off he pushed the thought to the back of his mind and emerged from the cavity, sitting on one of the large roots that formed the areas maze. "Well it is a good thing I did not go far in, the road is still to my back and at least there is a stream in eyesight. Going to be a long day..". He knew he wouldn't have much time before needing to move though in his mind he began to wonder about life itself and the nature of pain. For some reason he was starting to think more about pain's correlation with life and death. "Meh, let's get moving...", he would say as he stood up to start his day...
Sometimes our trauma's will find the smallest ways to effect us, but create the biggest changes in us as time passes. What happens when someones traumas awakens a part of them which was sleeping soundly or when their trauma leads them to their one true goal and purpose.<i></i>
