Applying for Chimera
WC: 2,700
Supporting RPs
Initial melding of the entity and Tsubaki.
Weakening Begins
Drained Dry.
Hospitalization from Parasitic Overdraw.
WC: 2,700
Supporting RPs
Initial melding of the entity and Tsubaki.
Weakening Begins
Drained Dry.
Hospitalization from Parasitic Overdraw.
Was I destined to die in this cold dark abyss… alone?
When I had arrived at this village not more than a year ago, and yet I could already hear the distant beeps that told everyone that I had not yet left them. The sounds were distant and faded, as if listening to an old recording through the tattered walls of an old shack, but they were there. The beeps, the sounds of tears, confusion and anger from both familiar and unfamiliar voices alike, all of it mixed together in a state of pseudo-reality that I was not entirely aware of. My mind felt disconnected from my body, but I did not feel as if someone else was in control of it, rather that it was an empty husk that I simply inhabited. I knew I was not dead, but I also knew that its presence loomed hungrily over me.
This… void. It was not altogether unfamiliar to me. Just a year ago, I could remember this state of disconnection as I slept, unable to dream. If it was hours or days ago, I cannot tell, but I did feel as I had before, the compulsion to walk to the dreams of others as they too slept. The urge to break them free of their fears and nightmares and to take those dark thoughts into myself still lingered in my mind, but that feeling was dull now. I did not have the energy to awaken or to walk as I had for these past years; the energy to free others from their terrors as I revitalized myself with those painful emotions. Somewhere in my mind I knew I needed to, but I only had enough energy left to simply float here in this void… alone.
“… not alone.”
A voice, not of my own, faintly reverberated the darkness around me. It was strange and somehow familiar, but it was none that I had ever heard. As time passed and my thoughts slowed, my memories of it faded as the distant sounds of life did as well. This was how it was going to end. My brother and sister… my mom and dad… my new friends… they would all miss me, but what could I do? There was no hope. No way to pull myself out of this abyss that must have only existed inside my own dimming mind. I just had to accept that this was my time…
“… we are sorry.”
I could hear that sound again, it almost sounded as if dozens or hundreds of people spoke in perfect unison, yet only managed a whisper that could only barely be heard. I ignored it as I let my mind fade, accepting whatever came as it remember old memories. They were not vivid images but instead faded photographs that had once held vibrant life, but were now aged and almost forgotten. My fifth birthday with mom and dad. The hospital when Mao was born. The crying when we found out what was wrong with her. Our little brother’s first birthday. Gardening together as a family. Those weeks of nightmare filled sleeps. The family’s arrival at the ninja village. That strange bug man. Naoki catching me singing…. It was too soon… With what little I could still feel, I felt that sadness welling up inside of me, but without a form to cry or the will to do so… what could I do?
“… forgive us.”
The absence was comforting, I could feel my thoughts and worries slowing as I drifted off. It was not painful nor was it scary. I couldn’t think or feel enough to register either anymore. It was a blissful existence as I felt my consciousness slowly ebbing out of existence. Blissful… except for this prickling sensation somewhere in my mind. The sensation grew to a stinging and then a stabbing. Before I knew what was going on, I could feel my hands pressing against the side of my head as I curled into a ball on the stark white ground that lay out in an infinite expanse beyond me. I knew this pain, I had felt it before and I wanted it gone! The faded emotions of anger, fear, regret, sorrow and hope all flooded out at once as I barely registered the tears streaming from my eyes. I couldn’t die yet, I could not abandon everyone. I wouldn’t do it!
“Would you please stand up, Tsubaki,” spoke that same voice, or rather voices, as I had heard before, only much clearer. “I feel we have much to discuss.”
With an inaudible snap, the pain vanished from my head and I slowly opened my likely reddened and tear stained eyes. Complying with the figure, which could only be described as a vaguely humanoid shimmering form of white, I slowly pushed myself up to my feet. I looked around, expecting to find myself in a hospital of some sort, but nothing but pure white extended in every direction. Even the ground below me seemed to stretch to infinity, but I could feel something pressing against my feet as I stood, confused and exhausted. “Who… are you?” I asked, finding that my voice, while drained, was not the one I used in the waking world.
“We do not have a name as humans would.” Spoke the voice as a cascade of faint multi-hued lights shifted throughout its translucent form. “We were once of a whole with such, but that is us no longer. Collective. Legion. One-of-many. Our hosts have given us many names, but we do not possess one singular name.”
My mind still ached, as did the body I now seemed to possess. It was not real, I knew that much, not in the strictest sense. I could remember back to when I walked the dreams, and that feeling I sensed when interacting with the host of the dream. It was a sense of being that mere memories and fears did not possess, and while I knew, though I did not know how, that I was in my own mind, this… thing was not a mere essence. “I don’t understand.” I found myself saying before I even thought of saying it.
“We are weak.” Faint ripples of color shone across its body as it spoke, though it remained silent for a short while after speaking. “We must rest.”
Once again, without thinking I blurted out, “no, please. What is going on? What is happening?” I felt that rage and confusion roiling around me as I stepped forward, collapsing down to the ground as I found myself without enough energy to even walk.
“Now that we have awoken… one will stay. Farewell.”
Before I could muster my strength to object, the brilliant light that composed its form flared brighter before it slowly dimmed down to a soft deep green glow. As my eyes adjusted to the change in light, the green coalesced and solidified into a more humanoid form. Short greying hair, a set of simple farm clothes, wrinkles that spoke of years of hard experiences and a knowing smile that looked down upon my nearly crumpled body. “You must have a great many questions, little Tsubaki. Please, sit and talk with me. We have much to discuss.”
Confusion was a gentle was to say how I felt at that moment. Though I could not bring myself to do much more than comply with as weak as I felt. The man gestured behind me, as I noticed a simple lounging chair sitting in the otherwise blank expanse. Then, by the time I looked back towards him, he was sitting in what appeared to be its twin, his legs crossed as he gave me a patient and pleased expression. Nearly a minute passed before I pulled myself up to stand and seat myself in the chair, its cushion cradling itself to my form perfectly. Even though it was in my head, it was by far the most comfortable chair I had ever sat in. “What is going on?” I finally found myself asking, surprised by how exhausted my voice sounded.
“I do not have all of the answers you seek, child. For that I ask your forgiveness. I have been here for a very long time, and we have been asleep since we… moved in to live with you.” He smiled once more, looking pleased at his vague use of words that apparently conveyed a great deal of meaning that meant almost nothing to me. I continued to simply stare at the man, trying to understand what he meant before he eventually took pity upon me and continued. “Do you recall back when you were unable to sleep? When an old man came to offer you help?” He paused a second and shook his head, “no, of course you don’t. Not directly. That was when we became one with you.”
Again, he continued to look towards me as I simply sat there relishing in a mixture of exhaustion, comfort and bewilderment. Time was non-existent here, as far as I knew, but it felt as if minutes passed before I finally spoke. “Became one?”
The man leaned forward in his chair, clasped his wrinkled hands together and let off a content sigh. “This is perhaps more than you can handle right now, but many of us feel that you are owed an explanation.” The man hesitated, his gaze shifting off towards the infinite for the span of a few heartbeats before he continued.
A long time passed, me asking him the best questions my addle mind could muster and him answering in a patient and somehow soothing manner. While much of what he said was lost to the weariness of fatigue, a few things became clear. This entity, the being of white light, was half of some greater being, though what exactly that was I could not understand. The other half, which apparently is the yin to this half’s yang, has been attempting to unite together since they had separated in the distant past. They had conflicted many times, and the most recent had weakened it enough so that it had to take refuge inside of me and sleep as it recovered.
“Why me?” I asked, feeling some of my strength returning as what must have been hours passed by.
“I do not know. We were drawn to you, but that may have been by chance or luck. We work in harmonious union, but that does not mean we understand all that we do.” The man leaned back, crossed one leg over the other as he continued. “You should have died.” His words came bluntly and suddenly as he looked over to me with a straight face. “We had never seen someone like you, and as much as we drew from you, you drew from others. If you believe in the divine, then this must have certainly been from its hand which drew us to you.”
Our talks continued, and in the distance I could hear the voices once more. My sister and mother arguing over something. The sounds of the doctors and nurses conversing about me. It was all still distant and hazy, but I could still hear them off beyond the endless sea of white. “What do you mean drew? Were you sucking the life out of me?” I felt a tinge of anger up inside of myself, but as he began to speak I found my grasp on that rage wane and slip away.
“We were dying, you see. If it were not for you, then we all would have perished along with it. It was not fair of us, and many of us regret what had to be done, but it is what it was. Now that we are awake, we can pay back this debt that we owe to you, and while some of us may not agree, all will honor this debt.”
A question that had continued to linger in my mind finally resurfaced as he spoke. Us? Are there more of you.” Had I been less sapped, I might have been able to piece it all together myself, but he continued to take pity upon me as he nodded his head and made a small sweeping gesture of his hand.
“This being is a home of sorts. A community. Inside of it are the innumerable essences of us humans that have passed beyond our mortal bindings. When you are well, we will speak of the details. All you need know, is that as you have discovered, this being is capable of absorbing the essences of others. That could be their life force, their emotions or even their body and spirit. I was among the first hosts, and now I too am part of this collective. To live eternal with all of the others who now reside within.”
I found my mouth drooping open slightly and I quickly pursed my lips and leaned forward from my seat. “It… eats people?” I asked, feeling a tinge of horror shivering up my spine.
The man simply began to chuckle and shook his head after a moment of hearty amusement. “You misunderstand, child. While we did not choose to be here, we are guests. We retain most of our knowledge, our past lives and everything that makes us who we are. It is its other half that does as you speak. It seeks out and devours the essences of humans to grow its own power. We, on the other hand, work together as best as we are able towards our goals.” He hesitated before adding, “you are still free to act as you wish, of course. We are simply here to give you what we can: Knowledge, experience and perhaps even our own abilities as we had them in life. All that we ask is you use this gift wisely, although,” he again paused and let out a resigned sigh, “not all in the past have done so.”
I inched forward slightly, wondering what exactly it was he meant by that. Before I could speak, I felt the chair below me vanish, and a falling sensation caused me to reflexively jerk upwards. I heard the sound of metal and plastic crash against the ground next to me as the white around me was replaced by a hospital room. While my mind tried to wrap itself around what happened, I felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around me tightly as the familiar scent of my father brought me back to reality. “Sweetie! You are awake!” He proclaimed rather loudly in my ear as he pinned my weary body to his chest, and while he was not the strongest of adults, I felt as weak as a newborn kitten.
I was awake? A subtle sensation of relief washed over me as I began to register the warmth of my father’s embrace pulling me tightly against himself. Was it all a dream? “Father. What-“
“… we will talk later, child.” That man’s voice echoed softly in my ears before it faded into obscurity.
“Shh. Hush Tsubaki. You have been unconscious for days.” His words were rushed and his voice was strained, as if he was on the verge of crying. “Everything will be alright. Someone will be here with you every moment until you can come home, I promise. So just relax. Everything will be just fine.”
He continued to hold me, his grip softening until I simply pressed up against his shoulder, breathing softly as sleep crept up upon me once again. Everything was going to be alright, I knew. I wasn’t going to die. I wasn’t alone, but… as I closed my eyes and let the darkness of sleep pull me from my father’s embrace and into its own… I could see a sea of colors and faces across an infinite expanse of white. Not one was familiar to me, but it was then I realized I hadn’t been truly alone for the past four years. Them, as each one of those faces turned, their eyes meeting mine, I knew I would never be alone.