Damp leaves and moss squished pleasantly under the girls feet as she slowly weaved her way through the immense crystal forest that was the Elderwood. She was without a crutch this time, having graduated to a simple cane instead, but still favored her right leg when it came to walking. It had been a little more than a month already since she'd returned to the village, but she was still far from being able to run and do the things she used to be capable of.
But that didnt mean she couldnt work on getting herself back to that point.
Technically, she was still supposed to be resting. Her bones has just barely healed after having to be rebroken and set into numerous casts. Too many times had the bad men taken their fists or other blunt objects to her person, snapping and cracking bone. They'd never healed properly because she'd never been tended to. The worst part about the entire experience was the pain; the doctors wouldn't use any anesthetics on her because she was already thoroughly addicted to another mysterious drug - something the bad men used to keep her weak and pliant, but her mind clear enough to feel all the pain. They didn't know what kind of effects using anything else would have on her body.
The pain of having her bones broken again in the same places, methodic though it was, was indescribable.
And she thought she had come home to escape the pain. But no, the road to recovery was going to be wrought with the stuff. The thought nearly quailed the once fearless girl. She didn't like pain.
Thankfully, she could at least get around now without having to rely on others or on bulky crutches. As much as she loved her family and friends, and as much as she needed them to get through this time in her life, there were just some times when she needed to be by herself. Most times she welcomed the distractions, but others - like just then - she felt the need to seek out solitude, to think. Even though she was coming to hate the times when she was left alone to think, she knew it had to be done. Would she ever get better if she didnt wrestle sometimes with her demons?
Sometimes Okibi feared things would never get better. In her darker moments, she gave in to the demons, not having the strength to fight them. She let the shadows taunt her, the sounds frighten her and the voices mock her.
Those moments, at least, were happening less often as time went on. Still, the attacks were more routine than she liked.
She missed the Old Okibi, fiercely so. She wanted her back.
But was she strong enough?
The Starlit Lake came into view as Okibi wrestled with her thoughts. She'd found this place more than a year ago, and it was one of her favorite places to visit in the entire village. It made her sad to think that she didnt spend as much time there as she should have before she'd been abducted. Would the serenity and peace that this place inspired have helped her at all during those troubling and trying times? She had to wonder.
Okibi ambled her way to the lakes edge and set her cane against the trunk of one of the massive crystal wood trees. She took a moment to appreciate the beauty that overflowed around her, slowly turning to take it all in. Dust motes glowed in the light of the crystals, moss and mushrooms hummed with a soft phosphorescent light and the immense trees stood bastian against the garish horrors of the outside world.
If she'd been just a little bit stronger, she might have smiled.
Carefully, Okibi made her way to the muddy shore of the lake. The scarred soles of her feet sank into the cool mud and she coudnt help letting out a sigh of relief. They'd long since healed, but the remnants that were left over from the days when the bad men were feeling particularly cruel still smarted sometimes. She supposed it didnt help that she preferred to walk around barefoot still . . . but even now she didnt think she could ever get used to wearing footwear.
Her mind was swept up into memories - or perhaps they were more apt to be called terrors - of the days that left her feet and body scarred beyond repair. They would slowly peel away the skin and flesh of her feet, and then force her to stand against a wall where they would hammer her arms through with thick, iron nails. She was forced to either withstand the pain in her feet, or suffer the loss of her arms. Sometimes, if they were really feeling the spirit, they would put hot coals under her. The pain was sometimes so unbearable that she would black out standing up.
Such horrible . . . horrible times.
Quakes started to wrack her skinny limbs as Okibi tried to deal with the memories. She bit her lip and closed her eyes; she was still missing her cuspids, so she didnt break skin this time, but she did end up leaving her lip really red. Taking in a deep, shaky breath, Okibi opened her eyes again and quickly looked around her. There was no one else in sight. Good.
Pushing away the hated memories, Okibi rolled up the legs of her loose pants, revealing her scarred flesh, and walked into the shallows of the lake. She marveled at the warmth of the water. She'd never actually gone for a swim the few previous time's she'd visited this place, and why that was she had no idea; it felt amazing. For so long, day in and day out all she knew was pain that she'd forgotten what it was like to feel good. The water wasn't just warm but it was . . . invigorating.
She hadnt been sleeping well lately; too stressed by the nightmares that visited her every evening. Most times she would wake up to someone in her family - usually Sousuke - shaking her gently awake through numerous bunched up blankets. That was the only way she could stand someone being so near her. Most nights she would end up screaming and thrashing in her sleep. Needless to say, she felt pretty tired a good deal of the time.
But standing there ankle deep in the warm waters of the Starlit Lake, Okibi felt energy slowly seep into her skin. She let her head fall back, her long, stark white hair brushing the backs of her thighs. A sigh, peaceful rather than stressed, eased from her lips like a prayer. Yes, this was what she needed. Quiet, peaceful escape.
But it wasnt entirely quiet, she realized. Her blood red eyes opened again and she gazed up at the canopy of the thick trees; it glowed gently with the crystals that were set in their branches. She could hear movement in the forest beyond the shores of the lake, but it wasnt the kind of movement that frightened her. She could smell the animals and the insects that created a symphony of sound, settling into her ears like the words of a love one, easing her mind and heart. It was a beautiful sound; natures harmony.
Looking back down Okibi rose her hands up to eye level - both of them. It was rather strange having a new arm made of metal - especially the pink metal that Sousuke saw befit to bestow upon her. It's weight was there in her shoulder, but she couldnt actually feel her right arm, although she could move it. She brought the false limb up into the light above her head and admired the workmanship for a moment. Truly, Sousuke had outdone himself for her. The arm was light, no more heavy than her real arm was, but strong enough to withstand the impact of a kunai. Its design was complex, but she could move it with barely a thought. However, it was still new to her, and took more effort than she was used to to control. That she had to think about moving the limb at all was strange. Regardless, she loved it in a way, and at the same time it brought her great sadness, reminding her of how much she'd lost; more than just a limb.
Shaking her head, Okibi refused to let herself go down that road. She could face those demons a different time. This moment was just for herself.
She lowered her metal arm and rose her other one to meet it. Quickly she unraveled the bandages that covered all the flesh of her living limb up to her elbow and tucked the roll away in the loose sleeveless haori she wore. She then lowered herself, squatting in the shallow waters of the lake, and eased both her hands into the warmth. She felt tingles make their way up her left arm, while her right arm felt nothing. The thought saddened her again.
She spent a few minutes like that, just sitting in the warm waters, letting its mystical energies fill her up. When she started to feel her legs shake from the strain she eased herself back up and took a few deep breaths.
Okibi wasnt sure if she was ready for what she was about to attempt . . . but she knew she had to try. She was very out of practice, and her muscles barely strong enough to keep her upright, not to mention shaky with withdrawal symptoms, but she just had to. Her chakra flow was still low, and erratic, but she thought it would still be enough to get her through a couple of minutes. Reaching into her robe with her metal arm, Okibi pulled out a closed red fan. It was a gift from the staff at the hospital; a get well and good luck present. She held the fan out in front of her, and then brought her arm down to her side. Carefully, she brought up her legs one at a time, first her right and then her left, and eased herself onto the surface of the water.
She'd only seen the dance, if you could call it that, one time; she was leaving the makeshift hospital, discharged and accompanied by her family when she'd seen them. They were gathered in an area that she assumed was the temporary recreational 'garden'. Most of them were elderly, but one of them was young, the teacher at the head of the group. They were making slow, fluid movements, shifting from one foot to the other like flowing water. The patients were not very good, but their teacher had been the epitome of grace and fluidity. She'd stopped to watch them from a distance, and none of her family uttered a word of protest.
She was going to do that now, or at the very least attempt to. Although she didn't have any music to move by like that group had, she did have the music of nature to accompany her. She could easily make a beat out of that.
And so she began to move.
Her movements weren't very much like the sensei's who was teaching the elderly class, this she knew. Her limbs shook far too much, and her shifting was jerky. Her legs screamed at her from the strain she was putting on them, but she ignored their voices. Arcing her right arm up above her head, Okibi let the red fan slide open with an audible snick. Remembering the way those people moved was easy, but executing the stances proved to be a true challenge for the girl that once found martial arts so easy.
This continued for a couple of minutes, just as she had predicted, and by the time she got to the last stance she was sweating and pale. Her limbs shook almost uncontrollably and she felt like she would collapse any moment. With great effort, and a courage she wasnt sure she possessed, she eased her weight onto her right leg - the bad one - and rose her left leg; the crane stance. She lifted her metal arm up and snicked the fan open above her head, looking steadfastly to the left. She bit her lip again, fighting against the strain, and finally lifted her left arm up to be parallel with the water. She held the stance for a few seconds . . . and then went crashing down into the water.
She landed on her hands and knees with a gasp, quietly cursing herself as her vision became blurry with red tears. She didnt care that she was getting her clothes all wet, or that she was soaking the ends of her hair. All she knew was that she was a failure, an incompetent fool for even trying to do all that. Why did she think for even a moment that she was strong enough to try?
Bloody tears trickled down her ashy cheeks, dripping into the clear water of the lake and dissolving into a cloud that slowly disappeared. Okibi gasped softly and reared herself up on her shaky knees, wiping away the trails with her left hand and wiping them off on her robe. Failure though she was, she would not let herself taint the lake with her ineptitude.
Suddenly, a shadow flickered from left to right in the corner of her eye and Okibi snapped her head in its direction. It was gone before she could lay her wide eyes on it. No, no. Had they followed her even here? They couldnt leave her alone even then?
Slowly, the fear started to set in, and she knew that even the magical water of the Starlit Lake was not going to be able to help her.
(Gawd, I'm sorry for the novel you had to just read >_o. That post totally got away from me. I hope you caught all those links though! :3 Also, sorry for any grammatical errors and junk. Sometimes I just hate proofreading.
Bam! This is that last stance Okibi was struggling with.)