Whacky Weapons and Clumsy Clansmen! [Open for all!] [Kagetsu related]

[Kuru Naohiro]

Do you ever have those moments in your life where you know you’ve made a mistake, everyone knows you’ve made a mistake, yet you refuse to back down and it just keeps getting worse?

Well it’s one of those moments.

The caravan trudged its way through the snowy hell that is ‘The Spine of the World’. The numbing cold being forgotten only be the deafening roar of snow and lightning from the skies itself. It was only within one of the wagon interiors that the noise dimmed just enough to allow one to think. To think about why Boken had taken the map again. They had been assigned another mission by the elders recently, they were just to supervise some weapon testing, to see if it was worth purchasing in bulk. They had a nearby grassland picked out and marked on the map, and the caravan had the easy job of carrying the weaponry there. There was only one flaw in the plan. Boken had volunteered to read the map.

“I’ll admit it.” Boken said with a muffled sigh from behind his helmet, tearing up the map in frustration, “I don’t know where we’re going.”

The armored shinobi sat on the wooden floor of the rumbling caravan as it continued to just trudge forward. They had brought the weapons dealer with them for the testing. Were they supposed to haggle prices with him after this is all done? It wasn’t their place to use Kagetsu funds in most situations, maybe they were supposed to bring a higher-ranking clansman with them. That was another major flaw in this relatively simple mission. The person who had taken the mission details couldn’t read.

“There’s no point moaning about it now anyway,” Boken said, his armor clinking as he turned his head to look at some of the boxes of supplies, “So what were some of the weapons we were meant to test anyway?”

 

[Midori Futotta]

Though Maru was a Chunin, the missions he got from his clans head are not as important as people would think. His first mission that was supposed to help him get to first mission that Musashi gave him when he got approved for joining the village was . . . cleaning out the dog kennels and he HATED dogs with a passion. His more serious missions as Musashi would put it involved babysitting a rich person's pet iguana which accidentally died due to Maru doing his… research over the person's TV and replaced the stupid lizard so the idiot wouldn't tell the difference. He even had a mission of delivering ramen to the Anbu headquarters, he was starting to think that that damn old man was having him do his missions for him so he could sneak up to Jounin under his nose. But however this mission he kinda snuck and got behind his clans head back was a bit more cooler than what he was normally having to do.

Apparently some clan by the name of the Kagetsu Clan needed some weapons and luckily for them Maru was excellent in creating weapons! He didn't know what kind of weapons did the clan wanted so he began creating as many weapons that he could think of that he figured people would use. He had loaded crates on top of crates if Shuriken and Kunai's since they were the most popular weapon that most ninjas use now a days. He made sure that he had a surplus of those but he also had a couple crates containing the most weapons he figured people would want: Katana, Ninja Claws, Bows and Arrows, Clubs, Hammers, Staffs, spiked whip blade, golden gauntlets, a set of throw-able boomerang axes, Puppets, A LOT OF GUNS and his personal favorite. A catapult which wasn't built yet but the parts to it were in a few crates that had a picture of a catapult poorly drawn on it! Everything that Maru could think of was on the wagon getting shipped to the high ranks to discuss prices. They took him with them to test the weapons, make sure they work before buying them and Maru was more than glad to come along. They even had a freaking knight leading them so what was not to trust about a knight in shining armor?

The rogue and the group had traveled far, within the snowy mountains of the The Spine of the World, Maru had covered his signature weapon Kawaii, a white and gold, Percussion-lock, rifled musket within his cape to keep his weapon from being cold while he froze his ass off. Truth be told he literally lived somewhere around the Spine of The World. His hideout was at the foot of the one of the mountain to avoid having to pay rent or property taxes since his hideout was well hidden. But the funny thing is that despite him and his clan living around here he didn't even know where they were. This was a whole new place to him but the their knight in shining armor had the map so he knew what he was doing. That was he THOUGHT the armored guy knew what he was doing. “Yo! Uhhhh Mr Armor dude.” Maru said. “How far we are from getting to this place already? I'm sure this gotta be somewhere on the map.” But needless to say, trusting this guy was a bad idea because he seemingly had no clue of where they were going and to add insult to injury the guy tore up the map in frustration so now no one will ever know where the hell they needed to go!

“N-NAAAAAAAAAAANNI!” the masked rogue yelled. “Now look what you did! You know my weapon could've gotten us out of this mess if you didn't ruin the map! God why didn't I volunteer.” Maru cussed at himself, craddiling his musket to his chest as if it was a newborn baby. Boken however wanted to know what kinda weapons they needed to test and the rogue was glad to answer. “Meh I don't think the swords and hammers would need to be tested, I mean they are pretty straight forward but I think we should test out the guns, puppet weapons and the catapult though you gotta build the catapult since I couldn't fit it in the wagon. Just open a box then get to testing some of the range weapons and traps. If you wanna try out the melee weapons be my guest but they honestly all you would be doing is seeing if it breaks easy.” He shrugged… “You do know what a range weapon is right?”

 

[Kuru Watashi]

Kawachi plodded happily along the path built into the sheer edge of the cliff. Buffeted by the wind and snow, the big lad felt like he was in the right place - the blubber that he had painstakingly built up along with his favorite thick fur coat kept him warm and snug, even as he pulled the wagon along. Too tired to protest, Kawachi hadn’t minded too much when he had been laying down and the harness was hooked onto him. As the sky shook, Kawachi happily walked alongside the wagons, somehow keeping his thick bulk from falling down into the deeps below as he munched on a light snack of frozen butter.

Silently stomping along, the Butter Boy suddenly realized that they were on the side of a mountain. He hadn’t known how he got there, nor how long he had been walking but man was it slightly unnerving. Stopping his pace, Kawachi turned around and poked his head through the canvas covering into the interior of the wagon as he let more snow in.

Gurgle gurgle gurgle, Kawachi went as he tried in vain to express intelligent thought before he spotted the masked man! He wasn’t quite sure who he was, nor what the man was doing there but he was holding something brownish that caught the large lad’s attention. Peering closer, Kawachi’s dull eyes brightened as he saw that familiar browned and rectangular shape. Clearly, this was a type of rare butter of some kind!

“Butter!” The boy roared as he pointed towards the thing that the man clasped in his hands, puffing his chest out much to the protest of his bear-furred coat and harness. “Eat butter when get there!” He tried to make out before pulling his head back out of the wagon and turning back around. Kawachi glanced about, not too sure where he was supposed to be going, but even his small brain could wrap around the fact that there simply wasn’t enough room on their little ledge for him to turn the wagon around and keep going down the other way.

Kawachi was a simple lad. If there wasn’t a way to turn around more, then he would simply keep going on until Boken yelled at him to stop and gave more butter. Munching on his stick of fat while humming to himself, Kawachi began shuffling forwards on the path once more; content to keep walking as long as there was butter to eat and things to do. Besides, the fat lad thought to himself, it was pretty nice weather! Maybe he would build a house here to keep his butter frozen. Frozen butter was good butter after all.

 

[Akimitsu Doi]

Doi strolled alongside the wagon as the caravan ventured through the mountainous region of "The Spine Of The World". He'd taken the liberty of equipping himself with clothing necessary to combat the frosty climate. What his current outfit was comprised of was a thick hooded jacket with fur lining, a warm pair of pants, a pair of fur mittens, and some fur boots. A small leather satchel containing kunai and shuriken was strung over his right shoulder. Doi had had to buy these things the day before he was set to accompany the caravan since he did not own proper clothing for harsh environments like these. He was sure he'd end up using it all again at some point in the future, so he didn't much mind the purchase. It was either buy it all now, or risk freezing his butt off.

The teen shinobi had been asked to accompany some members of the Kagetsu clan as they went about their task of testing weapons they sought to buy from a weapon dealer. Doi hadn't spoken much with the others up until this point besides a few basic directions here and there. That's not to say that his companions didn't seem like some colorful characters, though. Most notably the chubby boy pulling the wagon along the narrow mountain path as he munched on a stick of butter.

Doi's ears perked up as he heard the masked weapons dealer yell in surprise. It seemed the armored boy inside the wagon had ripped their only map to shreds while he hadn't been paying attention. They were lost, basically; at least that's what Doi could gather from what he was hearing. Definitely a less than favorable situation considering that he himself was not familiar with the terrain.

Alas, he continued to listen as the masked man and the armored boy conversed.

 

[Imaya Kuza]

Byoki was just glad to come along, even though he proved to be ultimately worthless. The pale and thin shinobi grunt of the Kagetsu was heavily clad in furs and strapped to the fat Kawachi’s back, as the cold proved too harsh for him to move in on his own, or else end up wasting all his chakra merely surviving the winds. His beak-like respirator was also wrapped in some heat pads so to warm any air before it reached his lungs. His apparent job, though he wouldn’t quite call it that, was watching the cargo as Kawachi pulled it, so that he could yell if anything fell off or was too close to the edge. While anybody else could do this, it was the only job that he could do himself, so he got it.

From a distance, Byoki heard Boken start yelling and ripping up the map. This was the third time, and yet he still insists on being the map guy. Byoki understood why Kawachi couldn’t, due to how… special he was, but at a certain point one had to wonder who was the greater fool: The leader who couldn’t read maps, or the people who followed him.

The twig-like Kagetsu, however, was still not worried. Worst come to worse, they would pick some meat off the non-essentials and possibly Kawachi to survive. Hopefully they would provide willingly, as he did so abhor senseless violence.

 

[Notamashi Yuuto]

When Yuuto woke up this morning, he had definitely not expected to suddenly be grabbed by two large, disturbingly buttery hands and promptly thrown into a crate. He could, with absolute certainty, say that this turn of events had most definitely made his day worse than he had expected.

But every cloud has its silver lining, and while he had been kidnapped, he'd also...inadvertently...discovered some kind of deep cover organisation that had somehow wormed its way into Kumogakure. Surely only a crack team of criminals could have accomplished such a feat...!

“I’ll admit it. I don’t know where we’re going.”

...A lost crack team of criminals. Who, if that tearing sound was what the Nōtamashī thought it was, no longer had a map. These would-be kidnappers may not be as professional as he had first thought...especially since they hadn't bound him in any way...or knocked him out...

"So how did this group infiltrate the village? ...Unless... this is an inside job?"

"Got that little brain churning away, then? Here's a question then: Why? Why would they do it?" Onsei decided to pipe up. Yuuto takes a quiet moment to listen into more of the group's conversation before replying.

"Sounds like at least one of them isn't familiar with the group, a mercenary of some kind? Or maybe an employer... either way, they have weapons that they want to test. At a guess, they're working for a village, trying to simultaneously weaken Kumogakure whilst giving their ally weaponry. But then, why take me? A hostage, perhaps? But if so, they certainly could have picked someone more valuable."

The main problem of Yuuto's mind was managing to escape this situation, though with no idea of knowing how long he had left in this crate, he'd have to think quickly.

 

[Kuru Naohiro]

The armored shinobi glanced down at the torn up map before rubbing the back of his neck with an awkward laugh. In hindsight, he should probably have begun investing in tearproof materials for these maps. He disregarded it as he turned his head to listen to Maru’s explanation of the weaponry.

“A catapult?” Boken asked, a smirk growing from behind his helmet, “Guns? Now this sounds fun! Guess it means we can use anything for target practice. Kinda lucky considering the circumstances ...”

As he rose to his feet with a clatter of plate, he took a moment to peer outside at the terrain. So maybe this wasn’t the best terrain for simple testing, but he can probably think of something to excuse it. With the mental reassurance to himself, he knocked an armored gauntlet on the wooden frame of the wagon.

“Stop the wagon!” Boken shouted through his helmet, “We’ll make do here. We’re just gonna call this extreme climate testing. I’m sure the weapons will work fine!”

With that, he grabbed one of the crates inside the wagon and clambered out before landing in the snow. The temperature was only matched in horridness by the sounds coming from the mountain range, every thunderous noise making Boken feel more and more that another should begin carrying the maps in the future …

“We’ll need to set up some of the equipment then, get the catapult built and make sure the guns are loaded,” Boken shouted out, having to speak over the weather as he planted the crate into the snow, “Since we aren’t going to have the comfort of pre-prepared targets, we’ll just have to improvise. Anyone got any mountain ranges nearby that they have a grudge against?”

(OOC: Uhhh ... does posting in a thread after a year count as necropost? :kappa