Yo, Iwa! [Requesting Entry]

[Gotō Daiji]

From high atop the cliff face, a lone rock fell from its previously undisturbed perch. Down and down it went, now well on its way back to Mother Ear- BONK!!! "Sonuva-!! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FLINGIN' THOSE THINGS, DAMNIT!" came a shout from below. Gun had partially activated his Ironguard on his hands, allowing him to use his claws as tools to help him climb. Why was he scaling a gigantic cliff face you ask? Well... "Hehe!~ Climb faster, then! -- Ow." Because Keiatsu. Need more be said? "...I swear I will kill." They could've walked all the way up and around from where they docked their rowboat...but screw that noise! The rose-haired youth figured this way would be much faster. And for a natural born monkey-like climber like himself? It was! Hell, he wasn't even using chakra to help him! Unfortunately his travel companion was a bit...vertically challenged. Gun was nearly four times the weight of someone his age. Something about metal weighing him down...I dunno. Either way, he was lagging majorly behind. So by the time Kei was halfway to the top he had only made it about twenty feet.

Uncontrollable laughter could be heard from above his whole trip up.

After about a half hour the pierced mercenary was starting to near the top. Keiatsu had long since made the peak and was now sitting cross-legged peering out over the edge at his "friend". "C'mon, BP! I'm hungry. -- Ow.". The former Chuunin may have been fine (except for his vacant stomach...) but Gun was much worse for wear. He was out of breath and pissed. As good a combination as any! "Just...wait 'til I get up there...I'll give ya somethin' t' eat..." he grumbled between strained breaths. This whole thing was getting to be waaaaay more than he bargained for. He didn't even want to come along with this half wit in the first place! But with Kirigakure frozen solid, he didn't really have much choice in the matter. "Hey, Barakami!" Gun yelled upwards at Keiatsu. "Mm?" was all the boy gave in response, as he seemed to be much more interested in picking his ear with his pinky finger. "Been meanin' to ask ya...what's with that dumb get-up?" Upon hearing these words, Keiatsu's default 'blank' expression formed into his trademark grin.

Naruto OST
"Fooling Mode"​

"Hehe...~" came a mischievous laugh from the boy. "Pretty cool, right? -- Ow." Finally...after MUCH doing...Gun clambered sluggishly over the top of the cliff and rolled onto his back. He was completely out of breath, but still managed a response. "Tch. Pretty damn stupid's what I'd call it..." a little harsh maybe...but in the back of his head? "...why didn't -I- think of that?!" See, the big bad mercenary might act smarter than the kid, but in reality they're just about the same amount of stupid. In the end, it didn't really matter much what Gun thought. Because from the way Keiatsu reacted, he either didn't hear him at all or just completely ignored him. Aside from the beard and sunglasses? The kid looked exactly the same as normal. Same rose-colored hair. Same ragged vest-and-shorts combo he'd been in since he encountered the thing that froze Water Country. And not to mention he still had the body and skin of a youthful seventeen year old. So his uh..."disguise" wasn't too effective...but that's Keiatsu for ya! Matter of fact, Gun wasn't looking too snazzy either. Grime and dust from the climb up clung to his clothes. And the journey here had taken a toll on them both. Keiatsu was still covered in bruises and scuffs from his last few fights! But it wasn't like he needed a hospital or anything. Just a big, big, BIG plate of Teriyaki would do the trick. His wounds would take care of themselves.

He stood up from his seated position on the ground and brushed his clothes off. Even after he'd scaled the cliff, the former Chuunin still didn't really get a chance to look around and notice his surroundings. But now that he had a chance? "Hm. Hey, BP. -- Ow." the uh...'old man' spoke to his 'younger' companion. "Eh? What is it now...?" replied Gun, still too beat to even lift his head up off the ground. Keiatsu stroked his new beard in a calculating manner. It looked like (for once...) he was actually trying to analyze his surroundings! Nothing short of a miracle. "...where are we? -- Ow." Blink. Blink. "...no clue."

Well...wasn't this just great? The last time these two were with Kudaranai the plan was first to go to Kumogakure. But that changed and she decided on some place called Iwagakure instead. Keiatsu didn't have any particular destination in mind (probably because he'd never even traveled outside of Water Country), he just wanted to end up someplace warmer than where he was. And it worked! Still wouldn't hurt to know where exactly they were though. So with a shrug, the "elderly" man began walking, hoping to find someone that could tell him what he needed to know. And if they ran into any trouble? Well that's what his disguise was for! His plan was foolproof, I tell you. Foolproof!

[Requesting Entrance]​

 

[Uka]

Uka quietly locked the door of her shop and took a deep breath. It was time to go get some supplies as the metal cupboard in her lab was running out. There were so many things to buy and she forgot the list... Oh well she would deal with it on the spot. It wasn't that hard to remember what you needed for your own work after all, even though there was quite a bit. No matter. A small smile crept up on her face as she turned around on her heels and headed off towards town.

She didn't even manage to make more than a few steps before spotting something weird. There just over in the distance was someone her age sitting there with a fake beard and out of nowhere climbed up yet another person. This really was strange. If they were outsiders how didn't they end up getting seen by all the anbu stationed on the cliffs? Actually how the hell did they manage to climb up that cliff face? It was one thing if you were from the village and knew what you were doing, but complete strangers? Impossible. Nevertheless it was part of her job to go and check it out.

The closer Uka got the more of their conversation she overhead and more of her fears were answered. Why was it now that she had left most of her equipment at her house. Sure she could go and get it, but that would mean leaving them to do whatever they pleased. No that was completely out of the question. It was a far better idea that she take on anything they might do than some poor civilians somewhere. The medic gulped quietly as she pulled on her white shirt with her right hand. It just seemed as if her nervous ticks were getting more and more apparent with every passing day. Just great.

"I believe I could answer that."<i></i> The young woman replied as she got closer. Her brown hair was flying in all directions behind her due to the wind coming from the cliff face. Another gust of wind completely blew her hair away from her face, revealing her green right eye. "Right now you are in the Sky District of Iwagakure. Might I inquire as to who you two are?"<i></i> She asked, stopping just a couple of meters away from the duo.

[Topic Entered]
[Hope you don't mind changing that scenery a bit. I felt the Sky Fall was a more fitting place for your description to lead to]
[As for clothing i forgot to mention she is wearing a pair of jeans with a white shirt.]

 

[Gotō Daiji]

"Hm? Oh, good! -- Ow." came his response to the newcomer. Then with a completely straight face he jabbed a thumb towards his companion and added on, "'Cause BP got us lost. -- Ow." Normally this would've provoked a comical outburst from the badly-tempered merc, but he was still far too tired to even manage. Instead all he got was a strained, "Hate you...hate you a lot..." between his panting. Still, Keiatsu was thankful for the help. He grinned his usual grin, not even bothering to question why she would offer help or what her intentions were. I mean...c'mon. This is Keiatsu we're talking about. So as his beard flapped wildly in the tremendous breeze, he did his best to listen to what the nice young mednin had to say.

Throughout the entire explanation his facial expression didn't change. He even nodded a few times and threw in a "Mhmm..." or two for good measure! So as soon as Uka was finished speaking, he turned his head towards the still-downed Gun and relayed the message. "Hear that, BP? We're in Ewakagure. -- Ow." That's right. He tried as hard as he could and that is what he got out of it. At this, the boy's mean-looking "friend" lifted his head up from the ground and raised an eyebrow. His mouth was hanging open slightly, exposing some of his pointed canines. "The hell is that?"

*sigh*

Lost in translation didn't even begin to describe it. But It looked as if this information wasn't being offered up completely for free though. The nice young lady told them where they were (even if the two idiots didn't fully comprehend...), but she also asked of their names. Well it wasn't like they were criminals Keiatsu was a criminal or anything, right? They had nothing to hide! "Me? I'm Sachi-!!" a hand clamped down over the "elderly" man's mouth, promptly shutting him up. "Gahaha...he's uh...'Sachi a knucklehead' 'cause he forgot he needs t' have words with me real quick. Right?" Lying capabilities? Not so good. But he should get an A for effort! Keiatsu nodded in response but Gun didn't even pay him any mind as he was too busy dragging him by the nape of his vest several meters away, hopefully out of earshot of their greeter. And he made sure to keep his grip tight on the rose-haired fool's mouth. Once they were a reasonable distance away, he removed his hand from Kei's mouth, balled it up, and clocked him on the top of the head with it. "Ow! What the hell was that for?! -- Ow." he asked, rubbing the spot where he could feel a new knot coming in. Gun replied, but only after telling Kei to shut up with his yelling or she'd be able to hear everything. "For bein' an idiot, idiot! What's the point of a disguise if ya tell 'em your real name?!" Keiatsu made an 'O' shape with his mouth and his eyes got reeaaaal wide. So that's what you were supposed to do when you wore a disguise! The merc had a point...but it wasn't like his ruse had much credibility to begin with. His body was youthful, his voice that of a seventeen year-old, and honestly when is the last time you saw an old man scale a cliff of that sheer size?! It was a mini miracle that he even understood at all. "Ahhh...so I gotta have an old name! Got it." So without further ado, he marched proudly back over to Uka, Gun watching with a stupefied expression on his face the whole time. The confident youth jabbed his thumb towards himself this time while finishing his earlier introduction. "Im O-jissan. -- Ow." Sadly, yes. That was the best he had up there. He pointed at Gun and continued on. "That's my grandson Baka Porcupine. -- Ow."

...

"I hate you."

[OOC: That's fine! I'm all for going with the flow. I don't know much about Iwa anyway so that sounds good.]

 

[Uka]

"It's Iwagakure now Ewa....."<i></i> Uka tried to correct him, but got promptly ignored. Well if they didn't want the answer she wouldn't force feed it to them. It wasn't her job to be doing this anyway. After all what were those anbu stationed on the cliffs doing, ignoring a crazy bunch like these two? Something just wasn't right with that even more so with them. Maybe they weren't so bad after all, taking into consideration of them began to answer her question. Sure he was the strangest of the two, but he seemed like the type that was too, well simple to be anything but honest. His companion on the other hand was just bad news. Even without doing what he just did the medic didn't like him at all. His aura was somehow, well not right. It was just so blatantly clear that he was lying even a young child could do better than that, after all she had more than enough experience with children lying at her. She sighed as Keiatsu got dragged away, trying to figure out what the hell to do. It was more than clear that one of them was a simple person by the looks getting lead around by his companion, who didn't even reach suspicious on her radar and went just plain to dangerous. As much as she didn't like it backup might end up being her only option at this rate, but maybe just maybe there was a way to try and use the bearded one's honesty to at least get him out of trouble before doing that.

As soon as the two came back from their meeting and gave her a reply all she could do was stare blankly. The lie was just so plain stupid she couldn't even feel offended for being lied to. A prolonged sigh escaped her lips as she withheld the urge to laugh out loud. "Lying to me really won't help you."<i></i> She began, trying to keep her tone stable as much as she could. "Grandpa and Stupid Porcupine just aren't what i was looking for."<i></i> Yet another sigh escaped her lips before she continued. "This really isn't my job and i decided to help. What i should have done from the start was call the anbu, but as you can see I didn't. After all you just attempted to climb into the village of stone from the back entrance, which is a criminal offense ever to us people from stone sometimes.<i></i> Uka finished for now, talking a deep breath, before looking straight into Keiatsu's eyes. " As long as you tell me the truth and are willing to cooperate there won't really be a reason for me to do that, so how about we try that again, okay?"<i></i> The medic smiled at him and awaited his response. Why oh why was it that she felt the need to help. They weren't even people from the village! "So let us try this again shall we? What are your names, where do you come from and why are you here. Stone is a welcoming place despite the many rumors you might have heard, so there really isn't a reason to try and fool me. I'm just trying to help you avoid having to deal with someone, who will try and apply out laws on you, okay? Also if we get this done fast, maybe i'll consider buying you two lunch. You look as if you need it."<i></i> Uka smiled and waited.


[Why oh why are your posts always this hilarious]
[Edited for multiple typos and mistakes]

 

[Gotō Daiji]

"Damn...she's a genius!" was the only thought racing through Gun's head as he watched their brilliantly constructed lie fall apart. These two weren't fooling anyone. Crazy, right? But it wasn't so much the fact that they underestimated her intelligence. Uka might be insanely smart for all they know, but what they really didn't count on was her common sense. Because...y'know...they don't have any. "See, Baka Porcupine? I knew it wouldn't work. -- Ow." Once these words reached him, the pierced mercenary's head grew about five times its normal size and he yelled back. "IT DEFINITELY WON'T WORK NOW, DAMNIT! AND THAT'S NOT MY NAME!" In the matter of about ten seconds their cover had been dismantled, reassembled, and then blown up with a stick of dynamite. What was funny was that Baka Porcupine wasn't some derogatory nickname he came up with for his traveling companion. He actually didn't know his name. They'd fought one hell of a battle back in Kirigakure (Where Gun introduced himself at the beginning of the fight...), eventually leveling an entire building by using eachother as the wrecking balls. They'd been stuck on that dinky little rowboat together for several weeks now. Gun knew all about the rose-haired wanderer's reputation. And Keiatsu STILL didn't even know his name! It was incredible more than anything else, really.

The boy was doing his best to follow what the young medical ninja was saying to him, one part in particular causing his eyes to widen a bit and him to look around. "So this is the back way? I wonder what the front looks like... -- Ow." Wherever they were, this "Iwagakure" place was really a marvel of nature. It looked huge! And there was no doubt in the former Chuunin's mind that there were nakama to be found here and adventures to be had. Gun? He didn't give a damn about any of that. He was just needed to get out of Water Country. Of course he kept his own personal goals at the forefront of his mind...but in order to accomplish those he needed to get out of Kiri. And considering he was just as lost as Keiatsu? Tagging along with him was his best choice. For now, at least. That didn't mean he had to be nice to the moron, though! "Why d'ya keep sayin' "Ow" after everythin'?" he asked, finally taking note of it after he'd said it enough times to piss him off. "O-jissan" simply turned, looked at him with a straight face, and said, "I'm old. My back hurts. -- Ow."

I believe the term "stupefication" (Looked it up. Turns out? Not actually a word...) would be the only thing that would even come CLOSE to describing the look on Gun's face. "Wha-... how-... but-..." I think the rose-haired youth finally did it! I think he finally broke- "That's not how old people act!!! How does someone even get this stupid?!?" nah...wait...there it goes. This was unbelievable. In the span of a few minutes this rose-haired buffoon had ruined everything. Now they weren't gonna be let in and- "Wait a minute!" Gun wrinkled his nose and turned around, doing his best to think back. See, the ill-tempered young man wasn't a shinobi before he became a mercenary. He'd always been one. All he knew how to do was merc. Infact, he was the leader of a reputed and feared group of soldiers-for-hire. If the pay was right? They'd do mostly anything. And as you can probably guess...this didn't make them too popular with the law. He couldn't count on both hands how many countries he was wanted in. But as he continued to think about it...he didn't think he'd ever even been to Earth Country! Or any of his men. Which meant...they really didn't have anything to hide. All their *ahem* "efforts" to conceal their identities? Pointless. I mean sure he suggested the withholding of their names...but it was Keiatsu's fault for putting on a disguise in the first place! He planted the idea in his head! Inception! "Barakami..!!" he thought to himself, clenching his fist. There'd be plenty time for beatings later. Now? They had to get in.

Luckily, Keiatsu was already handling that! See, when Uka offered to possibly buy them lunch she entered a verbal contract that she couldn't possibly have had any idea of its magnitude. Kei didn't have any problem sharing his information before but now? He'd tell her anything she wanted to know! Or hear. He began walking and talking, hoping that she would follow alongside him. "I'm Sachi Ay Keiatsu and I'm gonna be the greatest ninja that ever lived! We're from Mist. Well...-I- am, I dunno about Baka Porcupine. I was a-..." Keiatsu stopped, scratched his head, and then began counting on his fingers. He was trying to remember his rank. "Chonin! I think. We left 'cause Water Country got all icy after some giant shadow-thing froze it and we ended up here, I guess. I wanted to beat its face in when I saw it but it froze everything too fast and I had to help people get away...but I promised it I would be back. So I will! I'm gonna go beat it up but first I need to find some nakama to help out 'cause it looked really strong." And just like that he was talking up a storm. He'd told her everything she wanted to know and then some. As he continued to walk he went on and on about the foods he'd like to try but by this time Gun would be approaching from behind. He would make sure Keiatsu was out of earshot before relaying his info. "Name's not Baka Porcupine. It's Gun. Came along with the kid 'cause Kiri got turned into a popsicle. I'm just here to find somethin' out about unfreezing ice like that and I'm gone." He didn't have as much to say as his companion or in nearly as friendly a tone, but he got the basics covered. "Hang in there, you idiots. I'll get ya free somehow..." Alterior motives, eh? Interesting...

 

[Uka]

Uka really didn't know what to think right now. Were these guys trying to joke around, making fun of her or were they just that stupid. It if was the latter it was absolutely amazing. That is if you can call something like that a good aspect. She just didn't know what to think at all. Was this all a ploy to get her to let her guard down? That wasn't possible right? They were just arguing in front of her as if she wasn't there! What exactly was going on here right now? Now what she was supposed to be doing with them. Honestly she really didn't know. The medic really was at a complete loss of ideas and words for that matter.

"So let me get this straight then because i am about as confused as can be. To see if I got this straight."</COLOR><i></i> The woman began, rubbing her right temple with her right hand.The entire ordeal was just starting to give her a headache. "Your name is Keiatsu and you are Gun. You area also both from mist?<i></i> She pointed at each of them as she called their name. "You could have said so from the start. There are quite a few of you in the village now you know. "<i></i> This entire ordeal was really going to give her a headache for sure, but there wasn't much she could do about that, but at least now she knew what to do. It was simple really.

"That wasn't that hard was it now? Now then I don't suppose you happen to have a passport to show you are who you say by any chance? Because if you don't i'll have to try and find someone who knows you."<i></i> Uka smiled as she tried to figure out what to do now. There were already quite a few Mist shinobi in the village and quite a few from Leaf, but how could she really know if they were telling the truth about it. Then again could those two actually tell a convincing lie in the first place. It really was doubtful. Oh well maybe it was just time to rely on her gut feeling. "I might actually have an idea as to what to do. I will let you enter the village under one condition. You need to stick with me until I am certain you are who you actually say you are."<i></i> This really was a somewhat difficult situation, but if they really were who they said they were then it was her duty to assist them. After all quite a few of their comrades had joined the ranks of the stone shinobi. Well at least she did have a general idea of who she could contact about that. In all honesty it was the only person she knew of from Mist that was within reach - the medical chief of the New Hope Hospital Hissori. Uka didn't really know him personally, but she knew about him due to her work. Maybe he could assist with this difficult situation.

"Okay then let us go get you two something to eat and then we will see about figuring out what to do next okay?"<COLOR color="#408000">



[Entry granted as long as you go with Uka]
[Topic Left with Keiatsu as long as condition alright with you]

 

[Gotō Daiji]

Nod. Nod. Nod.

His facial expression remained the same as he indicated that Uka had everything right. Well...except for this "Gun" person...he didn't know who the hell that was! The medic-nin said something about other refugees from Mist coming to Iwagakure which prompted the youth to widen his eyes. "Really? I wonder if Youko's here. Oh, and Yama!" his eyes drifted upward as he stroked his beard, seemingly in deep thought. "Strawberry-Head and that other lady might be here too..." His err..."thinking" was cut short by Uka asking if he had any travel documents, to which the boy replied by turning to Gun and asking, "What's a passport?" The pierced mercenary sighed and ran a hand through his jet black mane of hair. "It's a little book of papers you need t' go certain places. We don't have 'em. I never had one and all ya had in your bag was food." Kei gave Gun a quick nod before turning his head once more to Uka. "Nope." Short and sweet stupid. Like always!

She said she'd grant the duo entrance to the village but it came along with a conditional: they couldn't leave her presence until she could confirm their identities. Now normally? This would be an annoyance. I seriously doubt anyone in their right minds would agree to this. And Gun? He sure as hell wasn't pleased. "You outta your damn mind?! There ain't no way in hell we-" "Ok." Before you ask? Yes. Just like that. "What's the specialty here in Ewakagure? I'm starvin'!" Keiatsu would throw his arm around Uka, with a mind to talk her ear off about food all the way to the restaurant. Lucky for her he wasn't picky! Gun on the other hand just rolled his eyes and reluctantly fell in line. "Tch...dumbass..." was the merc's last audible grumble before the rest of his curses were lost to the wind. This was gonna be a long day...

...but then, with Keiatsu it always was.

[Condition Agreed To! - Village Entered]