Always Start from the Beginning [Tutor] (Kiri)

[Osuteno]

Osu waited patiently in his office for Kiri to show up. One wall of the all too small room was still lined with cleaning supplies from when they had thought him dead and turned the room into a janitor's closet. To even get behind his desk required him to go over or melt under it. But such was life.

Kiri had asked Osuteno to train him a bit in psychology, which Osu was very willing to assist with, but he also thought Kiri needed to lighten up a bit which was part of his reasoning for the plans he made.

In preparation for today’s lesson Osu cleared his desk a bit, formed a particular set of hand seals, and slapped his hand on the table while simultaneously having blood seep to his fingertips.

There was a small poof of smoke that came from interdimensional travel and a tiny seal now rolled around on top of the table. Pata pata pata pata went the tail fin of the tiny seal simply called Chibi. The patas intensified as Osu rubbed the tiny seal’s belly and then picked it up and placed it on top of his head, its favorite seat! Life could only be better right now if Chibi had a fish, but he wasn’t allowed to eat on top of Osu’s head anymore. Pata pata pata pata.

Now it was simply time to wait for Kiri to arrive as the little seal enjoyed the sensation of being so tall, pata pata pata pata.

 

[Kiri]

It wasn’t always that Osu could get some time off from his busy schedule just to attend to him. So Kiri should know better than to arrive late at the designated place and time. Not to mention that he has already proven a couple of times that he has improved since their first meeting, though he must admit that he still has a lot to improve with as well. For example, certain ideologies and stubbornness needs to be reformed. Then again, he should also be aware that certain things between him and Osu were much more open than in the case with his relationship with others. That being, he trusts Osu with pretty much his life, and so whatever happens now that he would be treated to this one-of-a-kind tutorial lesson, he would not be disappointed.

Just as he would come to the designated address, Kiri stopped for a moment. He was outside the door and he glanced left and right a couple of times before looking at the door again. As he looked down at the funny map he drew from the main map at the office, this place was still considered the janitor’s office. Did he get it wrong? But no, he was pretty much certain he followed the directions given by Osu.

As such, he would knock on the door a couple of times, feeling silly at first, but when he was allowed to enter, he turned on the knob and swung the door open to see what was inside. Lo and behold, he found Osu on the other side of a large desk in this rather small room. Unfortunate it was that one of the room was still stacked with cleaning materials, and so Kiri had to wonder if Osu was okay with it or simply good at hiding his possibly boiling anger towards such impunity. Then again, this was Osu. He was chill… unless provoked.

“Hello, Osu-senpai,” said Kiri as he stepped into the room, coming closer to the desk until he spotted a strange creature on his senpai’s head. Almost immediately, he and his inner beast both came to a conclusion almost in unison, “Dinner.”

Ah but he quickly shook his head and willed the thought away as he would set his eyes back to Osu. “Sorry, lately, we’ve been…. I mean, I’ve been looking to eat some fish…”

 

[Osuteno]

"~Fiiiiii." Cried the little seal on top of Osu's head excitedly which caused Osu to chuckle and pet the creature that interrupted him greeting Kiri.

"Hmhm it seems everyone is in the mood for fish today, I suppose after today's lesson is over we can all go out for sushi, my treat." Pata pata pata pata pata pata. "Heh calm down with that tail you. Kiri this is Chibi. Chibi is a minor summon of the marine mammal contract."

"Chiiiiib-"

"That is right isn't it? Chibi here also loves fish he says. Though all seals do to be honest, it is about all they eat."

"Anyway Chibi here will be helping us out today in your lesson. Actually considering how long Chibi has helped out with this particular task you might need to call him senpai as well." That was a joke of course but Chibi having been Osu's assistant longer than Kiri was truth. Of course anyone should immediately realize that the small seal playing around in Osu's hair couldn't be considered anyone's superior.

"Best get moving, Kiri follow behind me."

Osu hopped over his desk and proceeded out the door to take the elevator down a few floors. "Now I know you have an interest in psychology so I thought today we would start with the beginning. By that I mean we are taking over a particular wing today and taking over for a few hours. These are some of the most important patients in the hospital so make sure you are on your best behavior. If you need any help Chibi here is quite good at handling them."

"Chiiii"

Osu slowed for a half step and without looking at Kiri said in his usual kind tone. "Oh and no jutsu in this wing, at all. You shouldn't need to, but don't even think about reaching for chakra. If you do so without my permission, I will personally see an end to your employment and you will be forced to leave the hospital after however many months it takes for your injuries to heal."

Osu wanted to keep where they were going a bit of a surprise since they traveled through the hospital in a roundabout fashion and entered the wing not from a main hallway but through a break room and a few office rooms and opened a one way door into... the main pediatrics play room.

Young children with various illnesses and injuries were grouped up in the room some hooked up to iv's some rolled in on their beds to spend time with other children, some able to get around on their own, and some in wheelchairs or walkers. Quite a few nurses were watching over the large group of kids but Osu was the only full doctor in the room with trainee Kiri.

Some kids were playing with blocks, a couple were sharing beds with other sicker kids reading stories to each other, some rolled toys back and forth to each other and some were playing pretend. Some were sitting by themselves.

""""Chibi!"""" Cried several children as they moved towards the trio of doctors and seal.

Chibi hopped down from Osu's noggin into a world of belly rubs while a couple little girls were already asking Osu to make their hair into fanciful designs while handing him bows and ribbons to work with. "Kiri your task for today is to get to know these kids, the most important step to psychology is to learn your patient." Osu was then promptly pulled to join a tea party as Mr. Bunnykin's dinner guest apparently?

Kiri would feel a tug on his own shirt as some kids began to inspect him. In general their ages appeared to be between 5 and 9. The oldest boy among the kids surrounding Kiri was the one tugging his shirt with a rather serious look on his face. His head was completely bald and he had a rather pale complexion but somehow still seemed lively. "Who are you and what are you doing with nee-chan?"

"My momma said we should call her Sensei."

"Onee-Sensei?"

"I guess so?"

"Are you Onee-Sensei's boyfriend?"

"Noooo remember Onee-Sensei has a wife who is having babies!"

"A woman can marry a woman?"

"My daddy said that makes Onee-Sensei a thespian."

"That is right a thesbin."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't really know but it must be a good thing since daddy was silly grinning as he stared at Onee-Sensei."

"My sister was also grinning a lot at her when I told her Onee-Sensei was a thestrian so it must be a really nice thing."

The kids had both managed to bog down Kiri's existence with interesting statements and flatly ignore him at the same time. Two more kids approached Kiri, one was a boy of about seven sitting in a wheelchair with a teddy and pushing the wheelchair from behind was a slightly older girl, who was perhaps 8. The boy was completely missing both legs while the girl didn't have any immediately obvious ailments.

"Excuse me," the boy started, "Are you a ninja like Osu-Sensei? Can you tell us ninja stories?"

 

[Kiri]

After the short acquaintance with Osu’s summon, a seal, they were off to where today’s lesson would be at. Kiri noticed that they were moving along a rather unusual path. He may have remembered the building’s map to some extent, but since they were going through unconventional spaces and rooms, it made the visual image of the map in his head rather hard to follow. This could only mean one thing– that Osu was up to something. Perhaps it was a test, to see if Kiri was finally accustomed to the place. Or perhaps it was just how his snap liked it. He did have his quirks.

In any case, it was quite a surprise when it was revealed that the psychology class would take place in a paediatrics ward. The moment they entered what seemed like a playroom for kids, the inhabitants, the sickly children of the hospital, rushed to meet them. Well, to be more specific, they went to greet Chibi, who seemed quite used to this job, and then more went to get Osu away for what seemed to be a tea party pretend game. And with that last phrase from his mentor echoing in his head, Kiri would instantly get into things without his meaning to as a few of the kids came up to, albeit strongly and rather defensive of their precious Osu-sensei.

“First of all, Osu-senpai is a guy,” said Kiri, trying to correct what seemed to have been a generally accepted information amongst the children that Osu was a girl. “He may not look like it entirely, but he is, and yes, he is married. Which means, I’m not his boyfriend.”

He tried to clear his throat and act cool while trying not to stare at the kid who was obviously not liking his presence after being brought there by Osu. But instead of ignoring him further, Kiri would pat the kid on the head and say, “But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to worry for him. I’m glad you’re looking after him, somehow, because I also worry about him sometimes.”

Just then, a few more kids would come closer. Deep inside, Kiri was a bit in a dilemma, partly because he felt pity on the kids who were young yet sick, and partly because he knew some of them were probably unaware of their own fates. But that shouldn’t really burden a child. It was just unfair. Life shouldn’t keep these children from living to the fullest. Though he may have had different circumstances during his childhood, being kept away from experiencing life beyond the walls was saddening.

So when they asked if he could tell them a story, he wondered if he could. Kneeling down he look at the child on the wheelchair and gave a warm smile with a nod. “It’s not so much of a ninja story, but I suppose it is still some sort of adventure. It’s about a kid and his wolf in a forest. Would you like to hear about it?”

 

[Osuteno]

The children stared blankly at Kiri as if he said that he had said he saw a flock of carp fly by on his way to work that morning. The kid who didn't seem to like Kiri particularly got a concerned expression on his face. "Hey mister, are you a virgin?"

"What's a virgin?" Another piped up.

"My brother told me a virgin is someone who has yet to learn what a woman is. I thought he was just being silly but apparently this guy has no idea what a woman is."

"Oh so he is a vermin."

"Oh my sister was telling her friend once that virgins are pushovers and dull."

"Can the vermin's story be that interesting then?"

"I don't know, he said it has a wolf though. Wolves are cool."

"Is doggy!" Yelled a smaller kid excitedly.

"Tell us the wolf story!"

"Tell the story!"

"Tell us the puppy story Mr. Vermin!"

Meanwhile a short distance across the room Osu had joined the royal tea party as Baron Bearington the Third's guest and was doing everything in his power not to crack up at what he was hearing from the kids behind him and remain involve with the topic of which year for particular varieties of juice boxes were best and fixing the princess's curls to be more fancy.

 

[Kiri]

It was truly extraordinary. Kiri had never once thought that children could be so deceptively innocently cruel. Of course, he wasn’t going to blame them. No. Children were free to express their thoughts. They were free to convey what they learned. It was the adults around them that were clearly at fault. Then again, he doesn’t know each individual’s circumstances so he can’t also simply blame them. In the end, all Kiri could possibly do was simply take it like a man. He’ll have to go to the forest tonight for some meditation to appease his shocked spirit, but other than that, he couldn’t dare take it out on children. It was just against his principles.

“Alright, alright,” said Kiri with a smile, a hand on top of the boy’s head. “Have you guys ever heard the phrase that dogs are man’s best friend? Well, sometimes, that phrase is too simple to explain everything. You see, there was once a boy who was left all alone in the forest. It was his first time to be outside his house and he didn’t know how he got there. He simply woke up there. And no matter how many times he called out to his family, no one came.”

“But like all kids, he wouldn’t simply be defeated like that. He wanted to go home. So he stood up and started walking, trying to find his way. But as nighttime arrived, everything about him turned dark and scary. And just when he thought some monster would appear, a wolf came upon him instead”

「What are you doing out here?」asked the wolf, but he was large and so he frightened the boy. So he got closer and dared to show his fangs to the child, thinking if the boy would be scared, he’ll eat him up. Because the wolf knew that the world was too cruel and if the boy was weak, he was better off dead. 「I’m asking you, what are you doing out here, boy?」

The boy was frightened. It showed in the way he was shaking. Who wouldn’t? After all, when you’re al on your own in a forest at night, not knowing where your family was, you feel weak and scared, hoping someone would just come to save you, right? But then, the boy said something strange. 「I don’t know why I’m here」 said the boy, 「Are you here to kill me?」

The wolf was surprised that someone so young, probably of your age (Kiri pointing to the youngest of the children), knew the concept of death and still managed to say it as if it were normal. It is quite strange, isn’t it? Almost as if the boy was expecting it to happen. But the wolf shook his head and said, 「Hmmp. Weaklings don’t belong out here and I would gladly kill you to save you the trouble. But you’re on a different level of being weak. I don’t have time to bother with you.」

The boy had a mixture of reactions to this. At first, he was relieved. Then, he was scared at the thought as the wolf was about to leave him again. And so, the boy would insist to follow the wolf. Even if the wolf would ignore him, the boy followed, day and night. Sometimes, he would get lost, but somehow he would find the wolf again. When he was hungry, he would imitate the wolf and hunt. Sometimes, he preferred the berries and fruits.

All the while, the wolf would always say that he was still too weak, so the boy was determined to grow stronger. He would become rather stubborn and he didn’t mind the pain and the wounds. His heart was set to show the wolf that he was not a weak little boy. And little did he know, he soon forgot that he was lonely and sad about being abandoned in that forest.

But even when the boy grew up to be a man, the wolf would still call him weak. Because no matter how much the boy could now defeat his enemies, survive on his own or even wrestle against the wolf’s strength, he still cried when the wolf was dying. But the boy’s reply was something the wolf did not expect.

「That’s why you can’t go. I’m still weak. If you go, who will take care of me?」the boy cried and cried all night, knowing the wolf would no longer hear him. But in the days to come, the boy would often be reminded by the wolf’s words. He would continue to live, to hunt and to survive. And inside his heart, he could almost hear the wolf’s voice reprimanding him if he got wounded or he was sick. It was almost as if the wolf never left him and was with him.

“I’m sorry. It’s a strange story, isn’t it? But I suppose, what the story meant to say was that no matter what difficulties life puts us in, we are not alone. We will have someone who will help us, even if they are not pleasing to begin with, or even if they don’t acknowledge us, because help can come in different ways. And that even if you think hope is gone, you can still change your life if only you have the determination to do so. After all, the boy could have just ignored the wolf and stayed there, hoping for help to arrive. He may have died of starvation. But he didn’t. He was stubborn and kept following the wolf, staring death in the face even, because he wanted to become stronger and be acknowledged by the wolf. And just when he knew he was strong enough, he lied to the wolf so that the wolf would not leave him,” Kiri paused. “In real life, we also wanted to be spoiled sometimes. We want to be with the people we cherished forever. But the physical body cannot live on forever. That is why it is more important to have the memories with them. And it was those memories that were kept inside the boy’s heart, and they made him feel less lonely and stronger each day as he remembered the wolf who always pushed him to become better.”

“Living in a society where becoming a shinobi is normal, it can be very frustrating if you think you’re weak, or that your illness makes you pitiful. However, each one has a strength of their own. You just have to be stubborn and grow stronger as well. Okay?”

He then stood up and sighed. A part of him about to die as he knew he was really not good with kids after all.

 

[Osuteno]

As Kiri finished his story he got quiet the mix of reactions. Some of the youngest ones began crying about the dead doggy, the median ages of the group mostly fidgeted uncomfortably, and the oldest children for the most part grimaced. These children were not at all unfamiliar with death. Too many children they knew had died and a few of them only had a few years left at most anyway. Most of the kids who lived in this wing would be able to leave the hospital one day but a good number wouldn't.

Osu sighed a few tables away as he braided a doll's hair now. Kiri wasn't wrong, and the story actually had a good message for this bunch... Still play time was going to take a hit for those kids. Ahhh... The mood wasn't good. Osu looked around the room to find Chibi but the seal was already busy being rolled around as if he were a ball by some of the littlest ones. Alright... He knew he was firmly trapped in this tea party himself. He had to help ease the mood over there somehow.

"Excuse me," the girl who had been silently pushing the wheelchair of her friend spoke in a quiet voice. "What should those of us who will die soon do?"

Ah he was afraid this might come up. In particular, the girl who was speaking actually didn't have much longer left despite her appearance. Perhaps a year if they were really lucky with the treatments. But a couple others in Kiri's story group wouldn't live much longer themselves. The surrounding children also became more uncomfortable with the reminder that some of their friends wouldn't live much longer. He began making excuses to politely leave the tea party so the children wouldn't think he was running off on them... Or not, as they were holding onto his sleeves now with upset faces. Kiri hold out for a bit, Osu is coming as fast as he can!

 

[Kiri]

Honestly, he wasn’t expecting the reactions of the children at all. By the time he had ended the story, he was panicking inside. In his mind, he was trying figure out why some were crying and others seemingly fidgeting uncomfortably. Then he tried to think about the story and it struck him. Maybe the children weren’t as accustomed to death as he first thought. Then again, when the girl who was pushing the wheelchair suddenly asked, Kiri was more than shocked to hear the weight of her words.

He became silent for a long time as he glanced about the kids at first, then back to the girl. He should have known better than to presume they were like him, he who had a different experience of life which inevitably shaped his own perception of life and death. Of course, these children have a life altogether different and their own experiences and perception of life and death are confined within the boundaries of where they were. And if he looked back to how the kids in the clinic would often be scared of going to the hospital, he wondered if the children here were also feeling the same way despite their momentary joy.

“That’s a hard question, you got there,” answered Kiri with a sigh, “But only you can answer that. What do you want to do? Do you want to play with everyone and make more happy memories? Do you like to draw and be creative? Do you like to make others happy and give them toys? I’m sorry if it upset you. Still, what I want to say is that, isn’t it better to think up of all the things you want to do and then tell yourself, I won’t be defeated by such things as the fear of death, not until I do all I want to do. I know we’re in a hospital and it can be scary, confusing, and we don’t get to be outside and live with everyone, but that doesn’t mean you should think this is forever.”

He scratched the back of his head as he paused and thought a little more. “You guys should know, even if everything seems so impossible, you can still make a miracle if you believe. So instead of that question you have earlier, why not ask ‘Hey, what do I want to do today? What do I want to do tomorrow? And the next day. And the day after. The boy in the story was really sad, but he also said, ‘I want to go hunting tomorrow. I want to go fishing the next day. I want to explore the forest. I want to meet others. I want to keep moving.’” Putting a hand on his chest, he then added, “Sadness and fear are things we feel right here in the heart. But this is also where we feel happiness. Sometimes, when we are too happy, we also feel it in our stomach, laughing too hard and all. Sometimes, when we are too happy, we can’t just sit down, we have to move and run. So you see? Happiness is all around our body, much more than sadness and fear. So do what you want to do, because it will only matter to you if you truly want it be important in your life.”

 

[Osuteno]

Ah how cruel kind words and thoughts could be Osu thought with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Again Kiri wasn't wrong. Life really was what you made of it and sometimes... often actually you had to fight for happiness. But there was irresponsibility in offering such words to someone who knew their fight was already lost because her doctors were incapable of helping her, not that Kiri could have known that. Still Osu could not have imagined that Kiri would bring up the topic of death in the playroom of all places.

The girl simply nodded at Kiri and, sensing what his friend wanted, the boy in the wheelchair she was pushing asked her if she would take him back to his bed. The other children were either recovering or stuck in what sort of awkward mood they found themselves in, some trying to distract themselves by getting the younger kids to cheer up in various ways. The eldest kid just glared a bit at Kiri before trudging off to another part of them room.

Osu showed up about this point, "Perhaps... your story was a bit heavy for an introduction. First impressions are rather important... and... well..."

Well Osu wasn't going to say it didn't seem like the kids would be looking forward to speaking with Kiri.

"Kiri... that was really like... a story you tell after the kids are comfortable with you. It's honestly something you should keep in mind if you ever get into therapy honestly. You need to make people comfortable with you before you go laying down hard truths on them... Thankfully children are more prone to changing their minds than adults, so it isn't like we can't get them to warm up to you in the future. He actually respects you a bit more now." Osu said pointing to the child who had been glaring at Kiri.

"... Kiri I was actually planning on our little lesson today to conclude with playtime but... Well I think there is something you should join me with a bit later." Osu took out a little notepad, wrote a room number and a time, and handed it to Kiri.

"It is completely optional, I won't force you to come. Just know that it could really offer you some perspective on what our duty as doctors really means. Anyway I will let you get back to your chores for now. I heard the nurses were looking for you to do some sponge baths earlier. Just meet me outside that room at the time written if you want, but either show up early, on time, or not at all."

And so Osu went back to wrapping up his tea party and helping to take the kids back to their respective rooms.

Should Kiri decide to meet with Osu he would find him outside the designated room after passing signs that read no chakra use beyond this point.

 

[Kiri]

Despite his best to try and explain to the kids, somehow he got a feeling it only made things worse. Still, he tried his best to put a smile on his face as he watched the kids leave one by one. Inside, he wondered if things had gone differently had he experienced something different in his own childhood. Ah, but he was already happy and thankful that his brother was with him, even if it was in the form of the beast’s soul that resides in him.

Just then, Osu appeared and Kiri couldn’t help but feel thankful for it. Though he had a feeling that he may have disappointment his mentor. He was happy, though, when Osu mentioned that the kid from before may have more respect for him now. Still, he’d rather not leave with having dampened the kids’ spirits. Sighing, he would nod and excuse himself from Osu and leave to find those nurses that needed him for some chores.

All the while, as he helped with the nurses in giving some patients some spongebath, Kiri couldn’t help but think about what had happened. He wondered if things could have gone differently. Well, he would probably make the same mistakes again if he were to happen again. Sighing, he would mutter something along, “I need to get out and talk with more people.” To which one of the nurses mentioned something about a nomikai (drinking party) to which Kiri quickly refused because he was, of course, still a minor.

As he finished his task, he would look at the piece of paper that was handed out to him. Strange how Osu would say that it didn’t matter if he came on time, or late or even never. Makes me him feel all the more punished. He sighed for nth time as he began to walk on his way towards the designated room and paused as he read the signs saying “no chakra beyond this point”. At that, Kiri was very careful, trying to make sure he would not suddenly let go of his demonic aura. He was certain his training lately had helped him control it, but better to be safe than sorry.

Thus, he would greet Osu just outside the door.

 

[Osuteno]

It wouldn't be entirely accurate for Osu to say he was happy Kiri showed up. He still wasn't sure if this was... Well no turning back now.

"Kiri. For the next bit I want you to listen and not speak. I will answer any questions you have at the end, but until then not a word." Osu was speaking in a quieter tone and gestured to the room behind him. "I think you have been progressing a lot lately and I decided it might be time to clear something up for you for this point on in your career as a mednin. However you think your method as a mednin might be, remember that our duty is to help our patients. You must make sure that you don't misinterpret what truly helping them might mean."

Osu opened the door to a dark and quiet room, with only the sound of life support and monitoring equipment in the background. They was a single young child (not one Kiri would have seen earlier) apparently sleeping. She was hooked up to quite a bit of equipment but Osu pulled two chairs up beside the bed and gestured for Kiri to sit beside him. Osu brushed his hands through the child's hair a bit and sighed with a sad smile. "Do you remember the girl pushing the wheelchair earlier. Do you remember my warning not to touch chakra and the signs on your way here? That is because some people have what is basically an allergy to chakra. Typically we get them out of the village immediately and into a place in the countryside... but sometimes a child will pop up who not only cannot handle being around chakra but possess the talent to use it themselves. There are three such children that currently live in the village with such a condition. Two were in the playroom earlier, including that girl, and this young child here."

Osu glanced at a monitor and sighed before setting it to give the child a bit more painkiller. "Children who are chakra sensitive typically begin doing so around the age of 8 more or less though how much and had fast they can actually do with it depends a bit on talent to begin with. Some go a few more years before they could really start training as a shinobi, while others..." He brushed the girl's hair more, "Others have a bit more innate talent for it. Unfortunately they can't really not touch it. That is why sending these particular children away won't solve anything. The one who you haven't met was actually brought here so they might live longer under our care... It wasn't easy getting them here... We don't really have the ability to treat it as much as we would like. We obviously can't use medical chakra to solve this problem, we have tried using... well there is a stone that drains chakra users but that turned out to only exacerbate the reaction... there are really only walls for us at this point. So we can only try and make them more comfortable before they go, slow it down a bit. We only managed to get this talented young lady to live to nine because we... severed her chakra gates..." Even if Kiri didn't have the chakra system quite down yet, the look on Osu's face would be enough to tell a layman that such an operation was worse than most diseases.

"It honestly only bought him about two months before she went comatose anyway, and a very unpleasant two months it was. Still it was two months where some of the other children would climb up into their rolling bed to visit and read stories and talk with them. She enjoyed the company. Her father died not long after entering the village, probably from the same condition she now suffers. Her mother... well that is a different story for a different time. What matters right now is that this little girl is unconscious it a poisoned body that will only continue to suffer worse. As of one hour and twelve minutes ago she has been declared brain dead... And as of two minutes ago she turned ten. She said she hoped to turn ten apparently, at least that is what I was told when her chart was handed to me. That is the thing about this place. That young man in the wheelchair earlier will leave in a few years after he gets his therapy down and equipped with some prosthetics. The healthy looking girl pushing him somehow learned she would end up much like this girl in the coming months. She said something a bit different concerning such a future. She said that when someone goes to sleep and never wakes up that is when they have died, so she wouldn't want to just sleep here forever. That will be a decision for her parents but I will certainly respect her wish and urge them to consider it. Because we have learned that while they cannot wake up at this point they can certainly feel pain, or at least the brain constantly reacts to it in a more mechanical sense. Chakra is a form of life force in itself after all and it does some funny things."

Osu brushed the child's hair with one hand and increased her painkiller dose considerably. He didn't say a word for a bit nor do anything, then he turned off the child's life support and brushed her hair as her body began to fail. Over several painfully long minutes Osu silently brushed the still girl's hair as he sensors indicated her body was failing and eventually... she died. Kiri would be unable to see Osu's face as he pet the child's head and he continued to do so for several minutes in a silence that was only interrupted by Osu pronouncing the time of death. Eventually Osu turned his head around to where he was facing Kiri but the only expression on his face was a kind smile with warm eyes. "Just make sure you understand what it can mean to care for people and help them. Also how false hope can be crueler than any insult and that sometimes the only thing you can do is make people more comfortable and honor some of their wishes. Now, do you have any questions?"

 

[Kiri]

As he listened to Osu give such directions, Kiri felt something off. There were times when he could sense if things were going poorly, but at that very moment, it felt more uncomfortable than anything. There was nothing threatening in the air but there was something that made him feel as though something was stuck in his throat. No, it was stuck in his chest. Nodding, he would then follow Osu inside what seemed to be an intricately sealed door. What he found inside would shock him as there lay in the middle, a child on a bed who was connected to multiple medical machines.

For a moment, Kiri's mind was telling him how things weren't happening, how this was not real, how an alarm inside him was warning him of something unpleasant, something he would not want to know. And yet, there was no turning back. He followed Osu inside and silently, he would also sit on the offered chair at the bedside. If anything, at first, he was not able to look at the child but he gradually did as he became aware of the situation.

As what Osu explained, he had heard about this condition, or more like, read it by passing. But since he was still quite new, he didn't mind it at all. However, seeing it with his own eyes, he became all the more aware of his misgivings and his limitations as a person. Cruel words indeed. He could only imagine the pain that must have been felt by that girl. And he clenched his fist at the thought of it.

With each passing word, each gentle stroke that Osu did and each sound from the monitor, Kiri could feel that life was leaving from the child and so inside him stirred something. He wasn't sure if it was the beast but it hurt with every second. The most he could do was look at the child, be brave enough to look at the peaceful passing. It was the least he could do and he was beginning to understand that to be in this line of profession he would have to experience and endure more of this. Yet, in his heart he could also feel a strange kind of anger was swelling up.

And then, the sound stopped and he felt as though he stopped breathing, himself. At that, his eyes stung as he burned the image of the child in his memory before he hung his head low. When Osu then turned to him and asked, he felt like everything was washing up inside him, like something wanted to erupt. He wanted to argue on not giving up, but he also felt a strange kind of jealousy. Now the child was at peace. Now the child would not have to suffer.

When he finally remembered to breathe again, he uttered, "You're too kind. You're just too kind." I can never be like you– he thought. Clenching his fists on top of his thighs, trembling at trying to keep the emotions inside, he saw the world blur for a moment before the tears fell down, like raindrops on the back of his hands. "Why didn't I meet you earlier?" He said almost like a whisper as if to say that he once may have wanted to just be at peace as well.

But things didn't have to turn heavy. He quickly looked away as he stood up. "No. No questions. Can I go now? I have to prepare for tomorrow." He tried to speak as calmly as he could, not daring to look at the other as he then began to walk to the door.

And should he be able to exit the room, he would lean against the wall and place a hand over his eyes and let the tears flow before wiping them away. He had to remind himself that nothing he would do now could help that child anymore. And so, he begin to walk away.

[WC: 665 MFT]
[Topic left unless stopped]

 

[Osuteno]

Osu's smile didn't change as he nodded to Kiri's request to leave. It really wasn't good though, Kiri should really speak what is on his mind more. Still this had probably been draining on his kouhai.

After Kiri actually left instead of just leaning against the wall where Osu could still hear his stressed heartbeat, Osu returned his attention to the little girl laying dead in the bed. "Forgive him, he is a strange young man... Though I suppose that is odd coming from someone younger than him. He still has a lot of questions about what he thinks is right I feel. Not quite sure how he came to the conclusion that I am too kind, but trying to tell him otherwise seems counterproductive. Still, I thank you for helping me spur his thoughts on a bit... He may even end up concluding that what I just did was wrong, but that is fine too. I am just sorry you had to suffer this long and that we failed to help you to start with."

Osu finally stopped petting the young girl's head and leaned back with a sad smile. "Sweet dreams." He then got up to do the paperwork, arrange for the girl to be moved, and see the rest of his patients for the day. He had more people to help or fail, I he couldn't let his thoughts dwell on someone he wasn't able to do anything for now... Not while there was work to be done.

[Class Ended- Kiri Passes]

 

[Tsuyoshi Junko]

Kiri - Specialization Achieved: Psychology (Novice)