Private borne in halcyon

[Akane Kiseki]

A gentle hum beneath a louder one - offset, as if a stream winding near a bubbling river. It was only the undercurrent of a sigh, perceptible by the rise and fall of his chest and the part of pale lips. That louder murmur, however quiet it was, quickly overtook even this gentle noise: it was the tap of pencils, scratching of paper, and chatter from students on similar assignments. His own sound wasn't a testament to disappointment or frustration, more alike to an exhalation from the burden of your every day. It drifted, too, into the imposing space above his slight frame, coalescing with every odd noise to become nothing at all. He sat alone, waiting for their group to converge, toying with the edges of books and letting his nerves wash over him for too many minutes.

It was just so empty. Even with the other students, even with the wandering proctors and librarians, even with every book piled high and long in rows and on tables - it was just so empty. It was almost too much for Kiseki, shoulders hunching as if he could curl so deeply into himself he'd disappear. There was pressure to the lack of it. An invisible force beneath the boundless ocean. Not a fish out of water, just one that wondered if it was too deep in it?

This wasn't a difficult lesson, nor was it one he so much as dreaded; he was excited, even, to leave his little world, bit by it. It was what he wanted for himself. Away from Ichika, maybe, but that didn't clip his wings necessarily. He had flown so high - so quickly - that while he felt he had ... evolved, somewhat, into more of the person and shinobi he wanted to be, he could use ... something less intense. Some kind of interaction that didn't leave his face burning and heart pounding louder than words could reach him. He almost felt as if the lack of adrenaline was a kick all on its own, floating not weightless in this weird limbo space between being glad to throw himself into something more studious and working himself up to meet that level of social.

It was 'What kind of Shinobi do you want to be.'
then 'What footprints do you seek to follow.'
and so 'How do you become that person.'

All questions to be asked of the youth branching themselves into the greater world, especially in a society like this one; one that cultivated power, authority, direction. Ambition. It could never be said that Kiseki lacked that ambition, but actually living up to it? Knowing how you were going to get there past the age old 'one day at a time'? It wasn't enough to just come up with an idea. If Kiseki was just allowed to say his truth - make that promise that he was going to become the strength for a world that wouldn't need to shelter its weak, because there was no fear left to fear - then it'd be so easy to pass this on creed alone.

But, no, that wasn't enough. They had to discuss. They had to challenge. Even now, there was no room for the weak-hearted and directionless. Even now, just when he had set out from the hollow, ears still wet with dew as they met their first morning sun ...

He had never before wondered if the dreams of those around him could oppose his own, nor did he think he had what it takes to confront that. The stammer of his heart wouldn't be able to handle a debate. Slow breaths. Shake out the frost - move your limbs - blink deep blue once, twice, and find your center. He wasn't alone. It might feel empty, right now, but he wasn't alone. School to a fish just meant home.

The other students for the study group were arriving, Shinsetsu Shōhei and Sumika Ryuu, so he rose to meet them; the act not making him much taller, but at least it was respectful?

"H, hello," he started, his voice almost as light as the sigh he first expelled. It was an uneven tenor, holding wavering notes that pealed like bellsong. He caught himself, swallowed back his stutter, and offered a bow. "Hello. I'm Kiseki Akane. Thank you for doing this assignment with me. I can't wait -," he stumbled, politeness winning over anxiety. "I can't wait to figure out our plans out together." Did that sound right? Was there a better way to express himself? Aaaaaaa.

 

[Shinsetsu]

Whoa...

That was Shinsetsu's first thought as he approached the table, a few books underarm, a little taken aback by the forthrightness of the white-haired boy standing up to nervously introduce himself. Eyes searching his face, he seemed both nervous and eager at the same time somehow. Admittedly, Shinsetsu had to concede that he felt much the same way; he'd never been great with meeting new people, but his parents would be pretty ashamed of him if he didn't follow their golden rule of killing with kindness. If he had to meet people and start building relationships, a study group was definitely the way to do it, where he could get out of awkward small talk by planting his nose firmly in a medicinal encyclopaedia.

"Shinsetsu," said the black-haired boy, inclining his head to his jittery classmate in a small, respectful bow before taking his seat beside him, and heaving his burden of books onto the table. He seemed pretty wary of holding eye contact for too long, but if anything could be said for Shinsetsu, he didn't seem to be troubling himself over every glance and ever word he spoke, like Kiseki seemed to be. Kiseki seemed nice enough for sure, but his appearance struck him slightly; he'd always considered himself pretty pale and scrawny, a hallmark of a boy much more interested in reading than playing outside, but the student across from him seemed to be even moreso, like he was in dire need of a few square meals.

"Yeah," began Shin, smiling at Kiseki with genuine warmth, as if there was nowhere he'd rather be than this library with present company, "it's always better to do an assignment together, isn't it?"

His voice was steady and direct, but he was extremely soft-spoken, and his accent was very prim and proper. It was indicative of someone who'd grown up somewhat sheltered, but also someone who had rarely wanted for anything. With a touch of eagerness, he opened his books and got out his pencil, ready to begin.

"Uhh... I'll be perfectly honest... I kind of fell asleep in that last class. Do you remember what the assignment was?"

 

[Ryuu Sumika]

How simple... Sumika would spend hours day after day studying just to receive the most easy and uncomplicated assignments, if anything it was a waste of her time and it aggravated her to just have to sit and listen to such mindless discussions. Whilst they had been placed in to groups she couldn't help but slightly twitch her eyebrow in frustration, something so trivial such as this needed groups? Her lack of care for most other people around her would keep her away from making classmates or friends with anyone, all she seeked was power and knowledge with a one way closed off mindset as of current.

As she neared the table in which the two boys resided she would keep a completely neutral face carrying her notebook and pen in hand either hand, calmly placing each of them on the table the Ryuu would listen to their chatter, "My name is Ryuu Sumika, and I must say that for something such as this... there is almost no point in working in a group. If anything it is actually hindering me from getting the work done quicker, and going back to my own important studies." Sitting herself down a chair away from Shinsetsu despite her direct tone she was relatively soft spoken and did everything with a sense of grace, a clear juxtaposition to what came straight from her mouth.

Unfortunately she had little patience for those who were incapable of even being able to concentrate in class, "You what? You fell asleep? Would you like a pillow, baby bottle and a cradle whilst we are at it? How can you ever hope to be useful if you can not even listen to instructions. I hope Akane is at least more competent than this, the assignment is to list down what type of shinobi we wish to be, what footprints we seek to follow, and finally how we will become that person. And unless you plan on being in the academy till you are grey and old, I would get to writing." Taking a moment to note down a starting point in her notebook she would slide the paper towards them in an attempt to show her mentality, upon the page it would say.

'I refuse to be a shinobi at all, in any sense.'

At this time she had little to no thought on how this may come off to the others, in truth she was purely speaking her mind in what she wanted to do, and was not aware at all that this may make things slightly more difficult. "Your turns."

 

[Akane Kiseki]

E ... etto ...
Shinsetsu's approach had been one that Kiseki was able to accept in stride - if anything, the immediate warmth of the other boy melted away Kiseki's cracking anxiety until the lights in his eyes seemed a little less scattered. A newly undisturbed pool. Pleasant. That's the feeling that hit him as he shared a smile with the other boy, finding something kindred within moments of this beginning. Briefly, he felt silly for his nerves to point. Well, he knew he was being silly the entire time, but he was starting to face that it might have been unfounded.

He breathed a soft sound, shoulders relaxing from their 'at attention' from when he had greeted him, and he tapped the side of his dimpling cheek with a small hand. "It's really nice to meet you, Shinsetsu-kun." It felt almost improper to call him by his first name, a little shuffle of his feet to find comfort, but it was as bashful as it was anything. It was a reminder that there was a place for someone like him - soft, sheltered - around ninja. It wasn't all survival of the fittest, all of the time. This is where the warning bells should have started. "Well --"

There was a metaphor, of course, about that moment before a storm strikes. 'The calm before,' it goes. The elucidating moment where you found yourself at peace only to have that peace broken by something so natural and destructive you realize why relaxation isn't a natural state and instead precedes or follows an event. That was the feeling Kiseki had in the moment Sumika Ryuu made her entrance. It wasn't grand, really, the way you'd expect a force of nature to be - it slipped in and waited to make itself known, an assassination. Its following proclamation was thus: My name is Ryuu Sumika and I, under no circumstances, want you to think I in any way want to be here today.

Kiseki swallowed, his following chitter a reflex of his nerves. She was so pretty. He supposed lightning struck quite the same image. "G-good morning, Ryuu-san." It seemed realistic to start with blatant respect, lest the world opened up and swallowed him whole for his trangressions. An uneven breath as he closed too-blue eyes and exhaled frost that seemed to reinforce his small frame. Relax. He had no interest in being such a wreck that he made a full of himself among his peer Shinobi - it was never this hard in his head. Be that person, then. Go on, little cat. You can climb a simple tree. "Thank you for joining us. I understand it's taking you from a busy schedule." He bowed again, fluid, and then settled into his seat among stacked papers and offset books. She seemed harsh, but that directness had to come with benefits as a Shinobi, except --

She didn't want to be one.

This stalled him, curious eyes churning thoughts like encircling a pond. He's not going to pretend to understand the system better than 'do or die' - he has no claim to her or Shinsetsu's lives or dreams. All he has is his own. All he has is this hope. "You don't want to be a Shinobi, Ryuu-san? Are you in the Academy for some other purpose?" He made an effort to not sit awestruck and push himself to interface with an idea that seemed to so clearly contradict everything he had been growing towards. He didn't judge her - he couldn't, intrinsically or politely - but he burned with a curiosity to understand. "I'm still working on mine, but I'm really interested to know what your goals are, then. You too, Shinsetsu-kun!" Bright-eyed, every word threatening to have his voice crack and a strength of will that refused to lay himself before them. Climb higher. "But I do know I want to be Shinobi. I want to serve Kumogakure. I want to serve the people of the Cloud." I want to eliminate fear.

Ahhh, kind of like he was feeling right now ...

 

[Shinsetsu]

Sitting down and resting his cheek on his hand, Shinsetsu looked down at the first page of his notepad, pencil left haphazardly on top. Sumika, ever the shit-stirrer-in-chief, swooped in like a petite hurricane, settling herself down, and announcing how she felt about the whole exercise and the purpose of working in a group. Pointless? Yeah, maybe a little. Still, it beat doing it in stony-silence on your own, without anyone to talk to.

"Hey Sumika," said the black-haired boy, yawning widely and barely looking up as she sat down, starting to give him a thorough talking-to? She was beginning to sound like his father....

"Gods, I'd like a pillow," said Setsu wistfully, blissfully ignorant of the dressing-down she was giving him. Still, it'd be a shame to just let it slide, when he felt, in his mind, he had good reason to be so apathetic, "eugh, come on, it's all just so duuuulllll. I mean... why do we want to be Shinobi? What are our goals? Don't most people work these things out as they go?"

The debate seemed to be energising him a little, but only insofar as, he actually looked both of his classmates vaguely in the direction of their faces; his voice was still quiet and measured, "we're 13, what goals, really, are we gonna have apart from the amorphous, cookie cutter 'I wanna help people!', 'I don't wanna live a civilian life!', 'I want respect!'?"

At once, he looked at Kiseki, feeling a little bad after hearing his response, "I mean... not that those are bad goals, 'course not, it's just... they're so non-specific, why even bother telling people?"

Then, thinking he might as well submit himself into the pile, told them what he wanted, "even for me, I want to be a medic like my dad. I want to help people. I want to end suffering. I mean, like... how do you get more bland than that? What else can I really say, you know?"

Then, Sumika pushed forward her own suggestion, and it caught Shinsetsu so off guard, he sat up straight, a smirk twisting the corner of his mouth. He hadn't expected that. Clearly, he was impressed, against his will.

"You refuse to be a Shinobi, but that doesn't mean you can't be one. Kind of like how I could refuse to have black hair, but it doesn't mean my hair will turn chartreuse."

 

[Ryuu Sumika]

[topic left due to inactivity]