Volume I :: The Beginning
- Salutations to all who have come to read these words. This is the first installment in what I now know will be a multiple-journal epic, detailing my life in this world. In this volume, I reveal the origins of how I came to be, and my reactions to everything that had happened. I reveal why certain things have occurred, and I also set the framework for the rest of my journals. The beginning is, after all, the start of something bigger. What kind of epic would I be writing without a proper beginning? And thus, we have our journal...
[spoilername="Chapter I -- Deception"]I do not recommend that you continue to read this recounting of the past. It is filled with tragedy, anger, ineptitude, prevalence, and above all a spark of philosophic truth that may rock you to your core. Right now, you are safe within your small boat of understanding and bliss, floating helplessly atop a sea of confusion and truth. Do you really wish to plunge yourself into those depths, not knowing whether you will even re-surface? You may become lost within this void -- you will no longer be yourself from that moment on. Are you willing to abandon all that you know in preference to complete uncertainty? If not, set this journal down and never pick it up again.
But if you are, then we are of a kindred nature.
This is the story of my life. Who I am, how I came to be, and my plans for the future. I will hold nothing back, and shall recount the world as I see it. This is, I am sure, merely the first volume in a long series of journals I will keep. I begin this first journal unsure of my situation, yet inspired by a deep sense of purpose. Its origin and nature is unknown to me, and yet it compels me with the force of a thousand novas. Even now it drives me to continue on -- the only thing keeping me seated and writing is my undeniable will. I will start as far back as my memory permits me, for it is shattered and incomprehensible after a certain point.
What I know of my past is that I grew up in the village of Konohagakure, and that I was training to be a shinobi. However, I was inept. I believe that I had been a member of a clan linked to the long forgotten Uchiha. Of my actual clan, I have no memory. I do remember, though, my frustration and anger. Like I said, I was inept. My skills were unacceptable, and no matter what I could not improve. This is the reason for my current situation, actually. As a child of great naivety, I accepted the help of a stranger I had met one evening. He claimed to know untold secrets of the Sharingan, and promised to aid me in unlocking those secrets. All I had wanted as a child was to be accepted by my clan -- this seemed like a miracle bestowed by God. And so, guided by faith and desire, I allowed the stranger to guide me.
I realize now my foolishness -- it was all a trap.
The man's real goal was to kidnap me, and take me away to a facility deep within the Land of Fire. I would not emerge from this facility for another ten years. It was at this time that my inner transformation began. I loathed my incompetence and my horribly trusting nature. I despised my role as a lamb, and decided then that if I were ever to break out that I would be the wolf. I would be a predator, and the world would tremble before me. In a way, I'm thankful for this tragedy. It not only made me realize the flawed way I had lived my life, and made me want something more and better for myself, but it also served to begin my descent into power. At that moment, my Sharingan was awoken. With it, I gained new insight into the world and into myself. I saw what I needed to do. I will never forget those things.
While in the facility, my control was robbed from me in the form of psychochemical drugs. They dulled my senses, relaxed my mind, and forced the role of the lamb onto me against my will. I don't remember much of that time, but I do remember the countless experiments that were performed. They studied everything about me, and injected me with countless solutions of God knows what. Questionable procedures were performed -- though nothing was done that would threaten my life. They wouldn't risk losing a valuable test subject, after all. This seemed to go on forever; they would keep me sedated and locked up here until I withered into a husk. Time seemed to stop, and I soon became consumed by an all encompassing darkness -- the result of my mind shutting down so as to allow me escape from the hell I was being subjected to.
However, it is within this darkness that I was given my opportunity for freedom. Miraculously, without any reason whatsoever, this madness would end. Sometimes the world doesn't have a reason for why things happen -- or at least, they don't seem to have a reason.[/spoilername]
[spoilername="Chapter II -- Darkness"]My place of solitude and rest was a never ending world of darkness that seemed to follow no set of rules. I merely existed within this darkness -- there seemed to be no gravity, no matter, no substance. It was, literally, nothingness. It was both soothing and unnerving; soothing insofar as it was a relief from the constant torture and experimentation I had been subjected to, and unnerving insofar as I had no idea what to make of it. All I could feel was myself. No matter how hard I tried, I could not make anything of this space. Out of options, I resigned myself to simply exist. I gave up searching, and merely let the nothingness wash over me. I don't know how long I continued like this, but eventually I realized something. My thought was simple, yet powerful at the same time -- this fundamental realization would come to shape the way I acted for the rest of my life.
The thought was, simply: this is ridiculous.
This transient existence was meaningless. There was nothing to be gained from this. Life was meaningless here, with nothing to do. I wanted to affect something, make something, or shape something. I wanted to have an impact, not merely exist. This kind of life was pointless; and while this realization may seem pointless, I do credit this single revelation as the start of my entire being in the present. And so, with this understanding in mind, I once again tirelessly sought for something within this space. I expanded my mind, sought anything other than myself, and never ceased trying. Just as I do not recall how long I sat there in nothingness, so too do I not recall how long I sat there trying to find something else. It could have been seconds, minutes, or years. I have no way of knowing.
At some point, though, I triumphed. I felt something within the darkness: a presence. I couldn't make it out, or do anything with this knowledge, but the fact that I was able to feel something elated me. I was filled with new found confidence and purpose. I devoted all of my energies to reaching out to that consciousness. In time, I slowly began to gain more from this mysterious energy. Feelings began to wash over to me, as well as random thoughts and sensations. Eventually I became aware of it's gender as a female. And soon after that, I became cognizant of the fact that there were multiple consciousnesses. I was so excited. I wished for nothing more than to converse with them -- to let them know of my existence became my goal. I worked tirelessly to make them aware of me. I was like a ghost, trying to contact the living. It seemed like a futile venture, and yet I couldn't afford to give up on it. So I continued working, and working, and working...
Until, one day, my work payed off.
I managed to catch their attention, and at last I was able to converse with them. They were a group of five women, who called themselves the Kagirinai -- the eternal ones. My elation must have poured over to them, because they soon became aware of just how hard I had worked to come into contact with them. They, however, seemed more surprised than anything. When I asked them about it, they told me that they were all in the same predicament. They were trapped, as a group, within their own darkness. They'd never been able to contact anyone outside of their space -- at least, until now. My presence, they said, was something unlike anything they'd ever experienced. It was mystical, they said. My chakra was saturated with the forces of nature, they said. And yet, it was an unnatural condition. I realized that those people who were experimenting on me must have done something -- they changed something in me, and gave me new power. Why, though, was another question entirely.
I told these women that I wished to escape from this prison, and that I could use all of the help I could get. They told me that they would assist me in escaping, but that they did not wish to leave. At this, I recoiled. Who would want to remain in this nothingness? The notion seemed preposterous. When I asked them about it, they merely said that this had become their reality. They could no longer remember what the outside world held, and they were more comfortable staying with what they did know. Besides, they said, their real bodies were nothing more than withered husks at this point. Their minds were the only things that continued to live, and thus they had no place within the outside world. They were sustained by a thing which they called the Gedou Mazo. It fed their spirits, and kept them alive far past their mortal selves. They held power over this domain, yet would never leave it even if they could.
I felt sorry for these women. They would never again know what it meant to be free. I accepted their assistance, and yet I couldn't help but pity them. They used their connection to this Gedou Mazo to rip apart the hold this mental prison had on me. Once gone, I would again possess control of my body. And when that happened, I would be able to force my way out of the facility. Before I left, I thanked the women -- though in my mind, I ridiculed their ignorant ways. One should always pursue the truth of the world, even if that truth was ugly. They were running from it. I, however, would face this abomination of a world head on.[/spoilername]
[spoilername="Chapter III -- Rikudo Sennin"]Upon awaking, I immediately noticed something new. There was a difference in the way I saw things. I could...see chakra? What?
Slowly looking around, I saw that there was nobody around me. I was in a small room, alone, and dressed in a white medical gown. I was attached to some machine whose function I did not know. Seeing as there was nobody around, I removed the wires that connected me from the device and proceeded to stand up and move about the room. There didn't seem to be anything important in here, so I walked out into a long, dark hallway. I was amazed, though, to find a completely unparallelled level of insight in my vision -- even though I couldn't see much of anything in this murky darkness, I still seemed to know exactly how far down the hall went, which rooms were there, whether or not anyone was moving around, and was essentially able to map out the entire facility in my brain. I had no idea what was going on. It wasn't until I continued down the hallway and found a storage room filled with clothes that I began to understand.
I was trying on a black skin suit, along with some black pants and a hooded robe, that I looked at myself in the mirror and realized what was different. It was my eyes: they were a pale purple and had a ripple-like pattern that started at my pupils. This was the Rinnegan! How in the world had I acquired a mythical doujutsu? I had only barely awoken the Sharingan when I had been put under the effects of the drugs all those years ago. How the hell did I get the Rinnegan? As it started to sink in, a lot of things suddenly began to make sense. Perhaps this was the source of the mythical chakra the women in the limbo-state had mentioned? It might also explain why I had been able to contact them when they had been unable to contact others; the Rinnegan was said to have great power over the mind. Infiltrating it would probably be a simple ordeal to a master of the Rinnegan.
For now, though, I was more than content to just use it to make my escape. Adorning myself with some arm and leg plate-mail, I now felt confident enough to venture out once more. As I was about to leave, though, something caught my eye. A grey mask, with a single eye slot and a black flame pattern. It appeared to be made out of a very strong material -- I could tell it was impervious to damage by all forms of ninjutsu because of my Rinnegan. Something about it drew me to it, and I instinctively reached over and picked it up. Putting the mask on, something about it felt right. I wasn't the same person I was before, so why should I present the same face to the world? It was time for them to see a new man.
I was now, and forever more, Kagirinai Taku -- I would inherit the name of those women who had given me the ability to be free.
Armed, now, with the tools I needed, I used my newly acquired ocular skills to maneuver my way out of the facility. Silently, I crept past guards and sentries. Like a shadow, I crept through from dark corner to dark corner until, at last, I made it to the exit. I slipped out, with no one the wiser. Freedom tasted good. Fresh air rushed into my lungs, new sights filled my eyes, and the sounds of nature and the world sent my ear drums spinning. I looked around and found myself within a forest; the hidden entrance to the facility was within a cave with a hidden pathway deep within the shadows. I didn't even look back over my shoulder at the facility. I cared not for it. Instead, I climbed high into the branches of a nearby tree and began to survey the landscape. I was like a bird of prey, searching the grounds for mice and rodents to gobble up. And behind me was the full moon, my hunting partner. In the distance I spotted a city -- gleaming lights, tall buildings, and the sound of busy people were the impressions I had of it. It seemed to draw me towards it, but why I did not know.
Then, out of the cave came a large group of people. Their faces were set with a troubled and frustrated look. I heard shouting and orders being barked. They looked like they were searching for something. I smiled behind the mask as I realized that they were looking for me. But they'd never find me. For I was a shadow, and the moon was my hunting partner. On silent wings I descended from my high perch, and set off towards this city that called to me. Whispering, coaxing, and luring me. I was free, now. These people who were after me would never find me. Because I didn't want them to find me -- I was free.[/spoilername]
