Late Night Shenanigans [Private]

[Hameru Ren]

"No no no, mister Do! This simply will not do! I insist!" The blonde woman in front of Natsu cried out. "Surely you do not wish to imply my cookies are not tasty enough for you? Or is it perhaps that my looks are not up to par?" She asked, a concerned tone in her voice. The boy couldn't help but groan. Who does she think I am? A medical nin in training who hasn't seen a woman after a year of training? He cleared his throat, trying to explain the situation once more. "You are as beautiful as your cookies are delicious, Misora-sama. Of that I have no doubt. I am afraid I just simply have too much work left at the office. Surely you do not wish for me to be fired of my job?" He retorted, smiling kindly at her.

Truthfully, it took most of his patience to do so. He had come to seek out the slacking Genin who had been appointed his assistant but had refused to show up for the past two weeks. While he had already assigned another Genin to take over the task, of course, he still wanted to reprimand the previous brat. After all, if the kid thought he could escape from his duties by simply showing up, not even one of Masao's infamous brushings would be enough of a lesson. Of course, he had forgotten about the terrifying entity that was a mother. She had done everything in her power to dissuade him from seeing her 'precious little buttercup'. Cookies, milk, donuts, small talk, humiliating prom pictures,.. And to his shame, the Spymaster had given up.

It hadn't been really worth it anyway. Especially not after the old tart had started flirting with him. The occasional brush of her hand, bending over a second longer than needed. Most men might not have noticed it, but he was the friggin' Spymaster after all. No detail would escape him! Well.. That's how he had dreamed about doing this job anyway. Unfortunately, real life had quite the amount of surprises for him. From seemingly auto-refilling donut boxes to scary mothers. What a messed up world it was.



"By Raiden's hairy gonads, this is ridiculous." Natsu muttered as he hid behind a chimney. The Chunin had not wanted to resort to violence and thus had literally ran away from the door. It had been a curious sight, so thank Raiden for the late hour. It was way past office hours, Natsu wouldn't waste precious time he could spent filing and signing paperwork on a ridiculous errand like this!, and thus the street had been as good as empty. And considering this was the upper Seki District, home to the rich and famous, he was glad for that. After all, it'd make negotiations about funding money from the local snobs quite a bit more awkward. He could just imagine it already. "So, Do-San, a little birdy told me the most curious tale last night. Is this money required for a new running gym perhaps? Ohoho-"

The Spymasters imagined scenario disappeared from his mind as a sudden movement caught him by surprise. It's just a cat, you stupid man! He managed to tell himself, before he noticed his foot was no longer touching the roof. Having abruptly dodged backwards, Natsu had lost his balance and was now quickly sliding down towards the glass roof of the house's patio.

- !BAMF! -

The loud crash was heard all throughout the foreign house, making Natsu mutter something incomprehensible. Looking dazedly around, he was at an absolute loss which family's house he had just fallen into. Whichever the case, they were a curious bunch. Or maybe the Chunin had hit his head harder than he had thought as he looked straight at a.. llama? He rubbed his eyes and felt at the back of his head to make sure he wasn't hallucinating anything due to blood loss or such. What kind of madhouse had he gotten lost in? And what would the inhabitants make of his late night entry?

[Word Count: 686]
[Marked for Training]

 

[Sanageyama Masaoko]

The soft jingling of glass shattering outside her door and the not-so-soft thud of an unknown object jolted her from finishing the last chapter of her studies on third world social stigmas versus medical science. She was hesitant to rise up from her bed unarmed. The time was drifting into an ungodly hour. She waited for only a few minutes, hoping to hear the pitter patter of a servant’s steps as they investigated. The house only creaked and moaned with age for what seemed like a long stretch of time to her.

Hefting a heavy text book in one hand, the mednin crept to the edge of her room. She brandished a light sword hanging above the door frame in the other. As ridiculous as she appeared, Haruka was certainly confident to catch her intruder off guard. The hallways swallowed her whole as she swam through the darkness towards the source. Glass breaking, she could only guess it was due to the failure of a sun roof. Which could only be located in their inner botanical garden. The rest of the house was traditional, having only paper screens that were easily opened to lift stale air out and usher in a breeze. Security was almost nonexistent, living in one of the most powerful and secured areas of Kumogakure. The high wall surrounding the property kept wandering thieves out.

She stalked through the foliage that ate the room whole, alive and spirited in its conquest to capture the house. The squawk of tropical birds caught her off guard as they swooped above her head. A few scurrying animals ran across her path. Above she could see the very obvious hole in the sun roof, jagged glass opening wide to the sky. Haruka summoned courage, mixed with irritation as a bird escaped through the hole. The crashed certainly terrified her pets, an experience that would take some time to coax them out of their frightened state.

The disturbing laughter of her poor, startled llama didn’t deter her serious frown, as it would on any other occasion. The convulsion of squabbling cries did alert her to where she was going however. Pushing through the branches, she held the sword high in front of her. Her right arm hoisted the book up into the air behind her, ready to send it flying at the intruder. She struck out at the man before properly observing him. The hardback textbook nailed his already bleeding head. Haruka took no mercy on him even then. She swept forward with cold grace passed down by her Haku mother. The tip of her blade breathed a slap of air onto his face. “Who are you?” She demanded from him.

 

[Hameru Ren]

Natsu could just about kill himself right now. He had not only crashed into someone mansion and totalled their botanical garden. No, the Chunin just had to go and land into the one with the llama. His skull seemed to just about explode as the creature started cackling. Natsu didn’t know what was more frightening. The laughing animal in front of him or the off-chance his brain might be pouring out of his skull right now. It sure felt like it. 'First things first, try and identify the surroundings.' He muttered to himself, forcing himself to look away from the beast and instead at the various flora around him.

Knowing next to nothing of flowers, his plan unfortunately ended up being quite pointless. Even if he had recognized certain types, the Spymaster had his doubts he could’ve determined his location based on just that. Thus, after stupidly staring at the vegetation for a good minute or so, he rubbed his head and tried raising to his feet. Just barely halfway however, something heavy hit his head from behind, sending him facefirst into the dirt. Groaning loudly, he slowly lifted it again, spitting a bit of grass out of his mouth as a blade whizzed right by his face. He stiffened immediately, recognizing the danger even in this dazed state.

The words entered his head as if his ears were filled with jelly. Slowly, he tried to decipher what they meant until he came to a plausible solution. I am being asked me about my lame. No, name! Is it name? What a stupid word. N-A-M-E.. Huh. Oh well. “I am Donut, Liemaster and Choo-Chunin of Kumogakure. I’m also seeing stars at the moment.. Llama! Also a llama, is that normal? Or is that the blood coming from my head talking?”

Well, dear readers, this writer for one certainly hopes it’s the blood. If not, Kumo may be in very poor hands as far as it’s MIS offices are concerned. Back to the situation on hand however: Finally having worked up the strength to turn around and lie on his side, Natsu could look at his assailant. Only now did he realize it had been a woman, though he could blame the blood loss for that once more. He also noticed the book and a few seconds and jumbled thoughts later did he figure out that had been what had hit him on the head.

“.. That was not very nice of you. Books shouldn’t be treated that way. Nonono! They should be read! Yes! Books are for reading! I may be bleeding, but I’m not stupid! .. Well, not that stupid. Am I? Say, who are you anyway?” This was even worse than being drunk, if slightly justified due to the several head injuries.. How would the mysterious dame react though?

 

[Sanageyama Masaoko]

Haruka eased her grip around the blade’s hilt, taken aback by the nonsense bubbling from his mouth. She raised a stern, raven brow. The clusterfuck of words and thoughts fought in his mouth for control and let out only what could be best described as word vomit. She knew everything he said to be a lie, and she was pretty sure he knew it too. At this point, the doctor in her felt pity for his obvious confusion. Her llama bleated a laughing reply as the idiot pointed out the fuzzy animal. He lazily chewed on some green leaf, staring down Haruka with big black eyes.

The Shima woman didn’t give him any clarity as to why a llama was standing inside her home. Her cold face kept watching as he bumbled around with his thoughts. The dripping of crimson blood streaked down his face as her gaze examined him. Her mouth was drawn into a tight line. An concussion, with minor blood lose. It was nothing to cry or fuss over. A simple fix. But, did she really want to help this fool who had interrupted her night? Just how did he crash through the glass? And why?

Suddenly she was the one getting a lecture from him. Her usual calmness cracked as the agitation flashed onto her face as a lightning bolt from the sky. If she had another book, she would of pelted the idiot without hesitation. How did he talk his way from being a trespasser to clumsy man that needed her medical attention? The blood from his forehead matted his blond curls as the locks began to soak up the trickling line of liquid. She gave the blade a slight shake in his face.

“You don’t get to break into my house and ask me questions! I’d blame your foolishness on a concussion, but I wouldn’t feel guilty in saying that you are probably this stupid and clumsy any other time!” This was a rare sighting of Haruka, but one that should have been seen more often. Her true temperament was often hidden away by the patient doctor she was required to be. In honesty, yelling at a perfect stranger gave her a release. She huffed after her little fit, still fiery and ready to hit him at a moment’s notice, but Haruka knew it was best to play doctor.

“Now, shut the hell up.” She moved closer to him, lowering the blade from his face. “I swear to Raiden, you try one thing and I will not be afraid to beat your head in senseless with a book again.” She set the sword down next to her in good faith that the dazed man wouldn’t test her. Her hand glowed with soft, pale light as the chakra concentrated to her fingertips. Gently her hand rested flat on his forehead, his warmth exchanging with the coolness of her skin.

“Your name’s not really Donut, is it?”

 

[Hameru Ren]

This woman truly is terrifying. Natsu couldn't help but think. Of course, the fact that she was waving a sword in his face helped along, but it was something else. Perhaps the way her eyes drilled right into his, staring him down. He had heard most women could do this, but even so she had to be an expert at this nifty little trick. Regardless, it was enough to make even the concussion-ed Chunin shut his mouth and sit still. He briefly considered scratching his nose, but decided that he'd rather not risk another book to the face. She was way too adapt at using them as bludgeoning weapons.

Not even the sudden chilly touch of the woman was enough to provoke a squeal from him. The gentle pulse from the healing hand quickly distracted him from the cold anyway, his body quickly recovering under her guidance. "Your name's not really Donut, is it?" She questioned suddenly, making him frown for a moment. Granted, he had fallen into her house in the middle of the night, but that wasn't a reason to doubt his name, was it? After all, who hadn't heard of the oddly named boy turned Spymaster, if only to snigger at said name.

"My name is Do Natsu, though everyone has kept it to simply Donut.. For obvious reasons. I've gotten used to it however." His voice held some tinge of annoyance in it. Though whether that was due her refusal to believe him or because he actually disliked the nickname at times was anyone's guess. "I apologize sincerely for the interruption. I hope you can forgive the nonsense from earlier. As far as the damages are concerned.." He looked upwards towards the broken sun roof and back down at the glass shards spread just about everywhere.

"I'm sure the Torre will have a fund for it. If not, I'll just send some Genin over as cleaning or repair crew and call it a mission." He decided with a simple shrug. As the glow disappeared from her hand, he slowly raised his hands in a non-threatening gesture and got to his feet. He didn't feel as dizzy as before, though the headache persisted just slightly. His hair and face were smeared with blood, and there were several rips in his clothing. It'd be an expensive bill to get the suit fixed. That was the biggest disadvantage of the Main Branch's dress code. There were bigger concerns at the moment however.

"I know you said no questions, but if I am to arrange the reparations I will need to know your name, miss." Natsu said, hoping she wouldn't lunge at him with sword or book. However, he thought he remembered the girl. He had heard much of a certain rich, raven-haired beauty from the Chief Ambassador. Something about a Phantom at the Opera.. He'd been told about equally much not to even think about hitting on her. If this was indeed Shima Haruka, he at least could say she had done all the hitting so far. Though he couldn't imagine either girl seeing the humor in that. He'd keep his mouth shut for now and instead see what the woman in front of him would tell him. And hopefully survive through the night with that tactic.

[Word Count : 545]
[Marked for Training]

 

[Sanageyama Masaoko]

Under her hand, the wounds bounded themselves. However, she noticed even before the touch of her jutsu had come to his aid, the man escaped with less damage than expected. Curious of him now, she examined the intruder over with almond eyes to inspect for cuts. The lines on his hands where glass had sliced open the flesh were closing. He was healing himself. Now that got her attention. She tried to not make such a fuss about it now, keeping coldly quiet under the glow of the moon.

Donut was apparently a silly nickname his companions have given him. However, he was actually called Do Natsu. She didn’t know why, but it sounded slightly familiar. Tossing the thought aside, because Haruka didn’t really care to connect how she knew the glass shattering criminal, she noted the irritation in his voice. She had to agree with the tone. It was such a stupid nickname. She couldn’t imagine going through life with such a silly name. The kunoichi had too much dignity and grace to be identified by such frivolous titles. It was why she didn’t have a nickname. Well, that and because she had no friends.

His demeanor and mannerism transformed before her eyes. Standing up proudly with the man, she held back the gaze of astonishment. She thought of an old fairy tale. The one where the rotting pumpkin became a gold carriage. She wouldn’t exactly compare Natsu to that, but off hand it was the closest comparison she could place him by. He must have been important, or believed himself to be. His obvious connections to the Torre placed him in a higher position. Bossing around genin and assigning missions. Maybe she had missed somewhere in his introduction exactly what he did for a living. It was quite hard to believe such a clumsy person could be employed as a shinobi of Cloud.

The llama who had seen a bit too much today had wandered closer to the pair. He decided to chew at the edges of Natsu’s distressed jacket. Now the shinobi was back to questioning her again. Slowly reaching down she heft up her textbook in hand. Natsu seemed to be under fire for only a brief second before she harmless tucked it under her arm. “Moo.” Her sandy eyes narrowed at the gluttonous pet. The commandeering nature of her voice sent the llama sheepishly away.

“I’ll give you my name if you answer a few questions for me first.” Abstractly she circled around him, carefully dodging the glass. She pulled up the sword she had abandoned earlier. “How did you fall through my roof? What exactly is your employment, Do-San? And, what are you exactly? Any normal man, even a shinobi, would have limped away with more than a minor concussion. Your wounds healer faster than what I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot. I’m a doctor.” Her complacent smirk and boring eyes squarely stared back at him as she came full circle around the debris.

 

[Hameru Ren]

Goodbye, cruel world. Farewell, hidden knowledge. Adieu, administration. Tschüs, delicious donuts. Arrived-.. Natsu carefully opened one of his very closed eyes. He had assumed his life to be forfeit as the woman in front of him had raised her book. She simply placed it under her arm however. Thinking about the situation more clearly, now that his life seemingly wasn't in as much danger, Natsu realized it'd probably take quite a few books before he'd die. Not too much of a positive foresight, but at least he'd have some chance to reason for his life. If the damn llama would stop eating his suit that was. As much he could try, he had severe doubts she'd give him time for more than two words before she'd bury him under books if he'd turn out naked.

Yet those thoughts too were interrupted, as the woman suddenly.. moo'ed? Whatever she did, the llama quickly retreated. That at least removed the threat of him ending up without his suit.. By cause of llama that was. Who knew how this night would end? After all, these recent events weren't exactly.. Normal. And while it wasn't love at first sight, one had to try the milk before buying the cow right? "I'll give you my name if you answer a few questions for me first." The woman remarked, sounding a whole lot more logical than just before.

"That seems only fair." He responded, enduring her examination of him while she posed the various questions. He gathered a bit more information too, though nothing he couldn't deduce already. She clearly was in the Medical Branch, and from her skill and composure she had passed the rank of Medic in Training too. "I had been checking up on a subordinate of mine who has failed to report for quite some time now. While returning to the Torre, I went by rooftop. He wasn't available so I wanted to arrange a team to retrieve him asap. Unfortunately, in the dark of the night I placed a wrong step and fell through your sun roof."

Okay, so he lied. Big deal. Shinobi lie every day. Diplomats even more so. A combination of the two basically did nothing else and was darned good at it. Unless she had some form of truth-sensing ability, she'd likely be unable to tell if he was speaking truthfully or not. She didn't have to know he ran from some kids mother though. Unless the beauty in front of him had truth serum hidden in her pockets, it was unlikely that story would ever pass his lips. As for the other question, he answered much more truthfully. After all, it wouldn't require much research to get to the bottom of it.

"I am the Spymaster of Kumogakure, division head of the Military Intelligence Service of our Main Branch. I am the head of Kumogakure's information network. I have been temporary Main Branch Sennin. I am a linguistic scholar who speaks fluent Ancient Kumogakure, both the Vulgar and Classic variant. I have graduated from the Applied Siences University of Raiden no Me. I am the son of Do Akumai and Sohan Akane, Chunin and Med-Nin Chief respectively.. I think that's about it. As far what you likely meant, I also possess Kaguya blood. I can freely control my skeletal structure. Plus, I've always been a quick healer. How much of that can be accredited to the bloodline I wouldn't know."

He concluded. He hadn't been trying to show off too much.. No, that was a lie. He definitely had been. He had to restore some of his ego after the embarrassing fall and the nonsense he had been telling her earlier. Besides, with those credentials she shouldn't have any doubts that he had the power to indeed commandeer a squadron of Genin around. Even Chunin and Jonin if he wanted, despite being only a Chunin himself. They likely wouldn't appreciate being sent on such a ridiculous mission however. No, best to give it to some Genin. If the yet unnamed woman would permit it after all this of course. If she decided to pelt him with more books after all he'd respect her decision and leave her with the broken roof and llama.

 

[Sanageyama Masaoko]

Haruka granted him a little courtesy by remaining silent as he answered all her given questions. She wasn’t to know for sure if he was trustworthy, and mostly every bone in her body told Haruka to just pelt him with another book rather than listen to what could have been lies. He seemed harmless enough at a glance. From the innocent shade of his childish blond curls, those apologetic green eyes with their “notice-me-sempai-look”, to even his highly unlikely scrawny build in his line of work. The crow haired woman knew that shinobi came of all shapes and sizes, so it was easy to dismiss her reluctance to trust him. One thing couldn’t be pushed aside however, he was a clumsy fool.

He professed to have so many titles and ranks attached to him. The showy display of his pedigree only reminded her of all the little noble boys she had been subjected to over the years. Their boastfulness, the way they thought that their education meant they knew everything and placed them above everyone else. She held back the ever growing reflex to roll her eyes back. A man who hide behind his titles, nothing more. Haruka wasn’t impressed and made it apparently as she twisted the end of ponytail between her fingers.

She couldn’t imagine him to be so strong, but somehow he had at one time commanded the Main Branch as acting Sennin. The title Spymaster was one she had heard of, but the knowledge was only surface level. The medic spent more of her time studying science than the military politic’s system. She lacked interest in the subject. After all, her mother taught her social politics to discuss over tea with nobles, but that was just women’s talk. Nothing serious ever came of discussing shoguns and raikages. Most conversations often took a turn to who was the most handsome leader of them all.

The Shima wasn’t a fool. Being head of an information network meant Natsu knew many things. Many secrets and many people of Lightning country. He had seen more of this country than she had, having attended a university in the Capital. Her father often visited. She had been too young to accompany him, and when she got to age it no longer interested her. The Spymaster dwindled on about his family line, one which Haruka had heard of. Now that was a topic she was well versed in.

He had come from a political failure, Akumai had attempted to gain status equal to her own family. Somewhere in the conquest he was struck down, realizing he’d never be successful. At least, that’s what she thought she remembered. As for his mother, Haruka knew the name well. She had the privilege of working under Akane many years ago during her training. That’s when it dawned on her why the name Do Natsu seemed so familiar. Sohan Akane had mentioned a son to Haruka, remarking how she was close in age to him. That was so far away from this day, and it wasn’t worth mentioning to the division head.

Lastly, he answered the question she had desired the answer to the most. Everything she had read about the Kaguya had been inadvertently wrong, as far as the example of Do Natsu stood. The barbaric clan of twisted creation rested upon his shoulders, and he delivered by falling through her roof because he ‘tripped’. The irony was ripped from the pages of an ancient play. Still, she wanted to study him more. She wanted to understand more about the way a Kaguya ticked. He could have been quite useful, if it hadn’t been for her blatant dislike for him.

“Wow,” she begin when it was finally her turn, “they really just let anyone be of importance in the Main Branch, don’t they?” Cruelly she smirked at the man. “To trip over yourself and fall through…I didn’t know such clutzy ninja of high standing exist.” She wasn’t buying that he happened to crash through by a mere fall, but the subject wouldn’t be further aggravated. “Your long winded and pompous résumé doesn’t make me trust you anymore, but I’ll tell you my name. At least then someone of competency can clean up this mess that you caused.” Shouldn’t he be cleaning up his own mess? She held back the remark. “Shima Haruka. Now, would you please leave? I was trying to study.” She hoisted up the book once more.

[Topic Left]

 

[Hameru Ren]

The sharpness of her tongue rivals that of her blade. Natsu thought equal parts afraid and impressed, as the woman drilled him into the ground with every sentence she spoke. If he'd be an anime character, he'd be a pale body bent over backwards with three blue squiggly lines floating around his head. Thankfully he wasn't, and instead was able to look somewhat composed as she continued her verbal assault. A twitch of his eyebrow and the corner of his eye was all that revealed the mix of agitation and wounded pride to her attentive eyes.

At the very least, he received her name. Shima Haruka, meaning his earlier suspicions indeed were correct. He had been thrown off by her aggressive reactions. The Shima women were all known to be successful. And while that did not prevent them from having a clear opinion of something, certainly not considering their achievements in the medical field, they usually were more.. composed. He had heard his mother once remarking on how polite and refined they were, and had sounded a slight bit jealous even. Clearly this generation of the family had less reservations about letting people know what was what.

"Of course I shall. I did not mean to interrupt your studies." Maybe read one about social interactions, that might help you some. "I shall arrange for the team to come by as soon as possible. Should anything else be amiss, feel free to report it at the Torre." He informed, his voice quite a bit friendlier than his thoughts. Of course, he didn't think she was like this all of the time. Though it was a possibility.. The current Medical Sennin seemed to hold little love for the other branches and cared even less about politics or what others thought of him. And while that was admirable in one way, it could prove a problem when dealing with people. If he passed those social skills down to his pupils..

"Well then. I wish you a fine night furthermore, bid you luck in your studies and hope both the damages and animals will recover swiftly from this.. eventful night." He decided, bowing politely and walking off, carefully in case she'd throw a book at him with his back turned. It wasn't until he had passed several corners and rooms that he realized he didn't have the faintest idea of how to navigate through the mansion and was quite likely hopelessly lost at this point. Not wanting to risk more embarrassment or problems with the terrifying, albeit beautiful owner, he decided to simply drop out of the first window he found. Without causing any damage to the glass this time. It sure had been a night so far, though we wouldn't rest before he had run a background check on Shima Haruka. She seemed a tad bit dangerous to leave alone.. And perhaps, a tad bit too interesting?

[Topic Left Unless Stopped]