Private morning light falls on you

[Kazanari Ichika]

The clamor of bustling streets in the somber caress of an ordinary winter day. The sun shining down, never encroaching on the cold with its warmth. Kazanari Ichika sits on a bench awaiting his boyfriend's arrival with bated breath. He showed up far too early and he knew that, but Ichika was not a very patient boy, you see. Fidgeting in his seat and tapping away on pavement in anticipation, yearning to spend time with his Kiseki in a less stressful scenario. They've been through it these past few months, separated and suffering alone, addled with guilt and emotions far too dark for innocent children. And yet that was their life - the way things were. A constant struggle to avoid an abyss that was unperceivable and always lurking in the peripheral - glimpses caught in reflections, with the ever present feeling that Something was off.

Maybe the winter chill was getting to him a bit. It would explain the shaking. The tremble of his lips as he burrows, flushed face into his scarf for sanctuary. He was dressed in warmer layers than he usually was. Thick jacket and sweater wrap and compress around his frame and a layer of tights underneath his usual short. He reaches up to fiddle with the floppy appendage hanging from his doggy cap, the one they had picked together on a previous date. The last time they spoke was... emotional and his jitters were born of a worry that his actions might cause more unintended pain. Maybe a change of scenery and less stifling atmosphere would allow the two to really reconnect again. Talk about serious topics without breaking down and still be able to enjoy each other's company. That was Kazanari Ichika's hope.

He's lost in his thoughts as the air shifts, peeking up into lustrous beauty that causes his heart to skip a beat, sputter out, then rev back up like the fiery engine it was. Winter's grasp surrenders. He sprouts right up, blooming at the premature arrival of spring's light - skipping right over to a summer in blue, He's speechless, pawing for the warmth of him, embers popping from shaky fingertips on contact, muttering with a flutter, the softest little; "Hi."

 

[Akane Kiseki]

Kiseki Akane watched himself in the mirror. The shifting colors that greeted him were no longer odd. The halo of white that burned at the edges of his frame / the glint of malice from transparent eyes at his back / the static television of his own gaze matching itself, skipping between channels of blue, red, violet, pink. He did this most mornings, now. Climbed out of bed with messy hair and shirt down a shoulder, pajama pants just slightly big enough to catch under his feet on every shuffle to the standing looking glass in his corner. It would be a slow, poignant moment as he approached the reflection, taking careful seconds before looking up from under downy white so that every shade would splinter and refract from the meeting point of his eye. It wasn't both, yet, but in a parasitic way it seemed to want to be: like the hues were invading, stretching from one unsteady sight with tendrils of color that bled at just the edges of the other.

He could feel every presence / he could feel no presence at all. He was so slight, the mirror itself taller than his height could muster, and he would just wait - quiet - until the morning sun broke through the window and his tomoe faded in glitching tempo with it. The heavy chill of his room would subside, the sleeves hanging off his collar lightening to immaterialism. It took some time, but his edges would soften and lose their glow, replaced by the dawn's warming light. He shivered. He sighed.

And he got ready.

---

He left Serenity, his sword, at home - for perhaps the first time since obtaining it and throwing himself at attempts to excel. Him and Ichika ... Ichika and him ... they'd faced enough peril recently, and this was an earnest attempt by the redhead to bring them back to normalcy. To love. They had caught their breath together: now it was time to breathe it. Little, cat-like nubs he hadn't seen since the graveyard fit in a contrast of black over winter; the moon, ever shy, peeking on its face to catch the sun again. He mirrored this with measured movements, shy but trusting - daring - now that the blizzard had passed.

He fell into Ichika at approach, hands finding hands and cheek finding cheek as he offers a sheepish mumble and a kiss to the other. A ruddiness spread across his cheeks near instantly, but he lingered close. "H-hi."

"... Good morning, Icchan. What are we doing today?" And he smiled, one of those soft smiles, a curious turn to pale blue and affection to share within it.

 

[Kazanari Ichika]

It was easy to bask in the halation of summer's imminent eminence. Winter's snowy border fades out of focus, into the peripheral as the little miracle shines through a curtain of noisy mist. Radiant spotlight that glows like angelic aegis in the darkness with divine crown atop his head. A love so pure - so blinding- that the mundane luxuries of life are transformed into heavenly delusion. He had just caught his breath and it was taken away as suddenly as the transient snow. More than words. He acts... He worships. Melt. Ichika lingers within sanctified embrace, combusting in hellish rapture, settling in to imaginary infinity. He could feel his cheeks burning up, feverishly red like all was right in the world.

Reality, however, was not as timeless. The softest siren song to call him back to shore. "I saw a flyer for a magic show in the village and I thought it would be the perfect date for the two of us!" His smile was stunningly bright, the little lops dangling from his hat almost seem to perk up as he wags his tail. "I hope you don't mind. I have the tickets already... and then I thought we could go to a cozy diner and just chat. Or we could go to your place!" There was a twinge of nervousness that drifted between each word. Ichika knew that he was behaving like a hound that had escaped his leash, excitedly bounding towards a shy kitty with little restraint. And he's trying. Truly. But a dog trying to wrangle himself back into obedient control is an impossible feat for even the most tamed of beasts. So, Ichika would take his boyfriend's hand, -linking leash to collar- fingers interlocked in pure violet as he leads the way to the venue.

There's a calming peace that colors their journey, even among the buzz of busy streets. A semblance of normalcy amidst the confusion. Ichika would peek behind, stealing glances of perfect blue, verifying his leash was still fastened securely between the numbing bliss budding at his fingertips. He was smiling so widely that it hurt. Shimmering. Sparkling like a shooting star.

They finally arrive at the theater. A cursory glance from a boy that knew absolutely nothing about architecture would arrive at the very simple conclusion of, "Whoa, this place is huge! And it looks so fancy, huh, Kise-chan?" Squeezing ever so slightly tighter on the tiny hand he grips as he steels himself to approach the kiosk. A simple greeting and an even simpler exchange of tickets to grant the couple entry. Ichika releases Kise's warmth, if only for a moment, to lead the way and open the door for his boyfriend in a traditionally movie-like way.

"After you, tiger~" He tilts his head, eyes hued in transparent adoration and fulfillment with a smile tinted in rosy abundance.

 

[Akane Kiseki]

"A-A magic show?" He couldn't help both the curiosity and confusion in the soft lilting of an expression so otherwise duly focused on the other; fingertips playing at the edges of Ichika's sleeves, tugging and tracing and humming along with the weight of his attention yet with no pressure placed. It was gravitational - a pull inescapable, to soliton about each other so space looked no longer so vast. Not as long as these comets raced and wrote their affections across the skyline. He wasn't willing to float away. "That sounds fun ... ! But, uhm --"

He thought his words, the turn of his lips offering something conspiratory. "Do you ... believe in magic, Icchan?" His words were shy - almost teasing - but not dismissive, as if he was worried he'd crack the redhead's carefree approach and the effort he had obviously put in to their day together. "Is that different from Ninjutsu?" Even then, as he asked, there was a desire to believe along with him - a consideration Kiseki had never had the chance or reason to have until today. He hung off Ichika as they fell into their steps, musing along, wonderment beneath his careful confusion. "I wonder if you can make magic from chakra, too, or if it uses something else ..."

If magic wasn't real, then what produced this spectacle? The feeling in his chest and the part of his lips, gaped, seemed to offer a similar awe to the grand theatre before them. "I-it's huge! I don't think I've ever ... n, no, uhm, I have never - this'll be my first time at a place like this." His feet shifted, nervously, but found their footing under Ichika's words. He tamped them along, his half-steps a scamper with an abundance of excitement now spilling out the glitter of his eyes: beaming as if a spotlight on the evening ahead. "I hope there's a bunny," said so quiet in a passing thought as they made their way inside.

 

[Kazanari Ichika]

The mystery! The wonder! The performance! The intrigue of seeing something your mind couldn't quite comprehend was what drew these curious onlookers. In that regard it wasn't really a question of whether it was real or not that inspired Kazanari Ichika to invite his beloved. No, he'd only wanted to spend time with him. To create memories so everlasting that they could only be defined as magical. An eternity could go by and the debate on whether "magic" was real would continue, even in this world where power is so freely wielded by shinobi. Ichika continued to ponder this question as he escorted his date to their seats, the humdrum of the theatre filled to the brim with idle chatter and shuffling of fellow patrons. "I think magic has to be real. At least... I'd like to think there's something out there that can't be explained rationally!" The answer he'd given had definitely entered into a more broad territory than what Kise had asked, but Ichika was sincerely trying to answer something he'd never thought about before. He snaps himself from his profoundly simpleminded thoughts, lighting up brighter than spotlights, ear twitching like an attentive dog as he takes Kise-chan's paw into his own. "This is my first time going somewhere like this, too! I saw a flyer in town a while back and saved up for it." He squeezes softly, giggling with a tender warmth that pervades the bustling cacophony.

Sitting there a brief silence before the curtains raised made Ichika remember his surroundings. He'd never been good with crowds. even before he arrived in Kumogakure, he'd have this pulsing heat that would flare up whenever he was anxious or overly emotional, He'd always isolate himself from anyone besides his father. So, why then? Why was his heart so quiet here? It took him only a second to stare deep into that whirlpool of serene cerulean. Of course magic was real. What else could you call this? A mere glimpse that washes everything in waves of starlight. "I think... magic is real." He said it so softly, that he wasn't sure if his boyfriend could hear over the white noise of the crowd. He speaks up. "I think magic is real because..." It sounds so lame, but say it anyway.

An explosion of festive fireworks and the clicking of lights on centerstage! A cloud of fog rolls onto the stage as the hall falls silent as a playfully, light voice pierces through the lull.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen~! Welcome, welcome to Marvelous Maki's Magical Menagerie~ Oh boy, what a tongue twister, huh?" A boy steps out, his tongue sticking out with a giggle. He bows and tips his hat with a flourish and twirl during his entrance, as a magician is oft to do... at least as far as Ichika is aware. But, then something baffling occurs when he sets his hat back atop his head. His hat springs to life! A pair of black rabbit feet peek out from under the hat, standing atop his head and hops down onto the stage, scampering around in circles, before bolting off stage right, hat and all. "Guess the little guy didn't get the memo that I'm supposed to pull him out of the hat~ Oh well~! The old rabbit out of the hat thing is a little cliche anyway~" As the show progresses, Ichika remains entranced by the spectacle, grinning ear to ear with every silly joke and wondrous trick, sneaking little peeks at Kise-chan. The finale act was especially fun and equally confusing to the boy, His assistant had brought out a huge gun with real ammunition, shooting it at Maki. Ichika had nearly jumped out of his seat seeing the magician confidently catch it in a hat, doing the same little twirl that has somehow made the bunny fall out of the hat instead of the bullet.

-----

The show had ended, but Ichika was positively buzzing. Everything around him felt electric and his grip on his partner was so strong and confident. Regardless of whether any of that was real or not was almost irrelevant to the enchantment of the performance itself. Magic is real and it takes many forms - in every aspect of your life there is something that you cannot quite put into words that brings you this feeling. That is the conclusion that Ichika had arrived to on this truly magical date with the person he loves above all else in a way he could never put into words.

"I think magic is real because I met you."

 

[Akane Kiseki]

There was a studious quality to Kise - as the more academically inclined of the two - that he hadn't the chance to showcase lately, but wore like second nature as the two walked interlinked. The colors, sounds and palpable interest in the air washed over them for every step; and still, he remained engrossed in the other boy. And still, pale found tempered skin and squeezed until they'd tan together. He smiled. "So it's the aspect of Chakra being an explainable phenomenon - that is, a part of our bodies - that makes it less magical to you, Icchan? I'd say there's a number of qualities of how Ninjutsu and Genjutsu work that we don't fully know the fundamentals behind yet, just how we're able to apply them ourselves, but even in Taijutsu there areaspectslikeourbodiestranscendingphysicallimitationthatdon'thavearecordedexplanationforatwhatpointChakraissomethingthatexistsanomalousofwhatwe'reabletomanagewithinourselves --"

This goes on. He doesn't notice. They have moments before the show starts, making their way to their seats, but as he explains the understood intricacies between how his body interacts with its Chakra and its differences to the general population's application of Chakra, he continues.

"-- so there are many ways to express something even as foundational in our bodies as Chakra, but I understand there's a lot of research behind it ... and even science, that is really starting to start! to understand what makes it up and the kind of miracles we can perform with it - especially in Kumo we've made even incredible recent strides, like how there was this -" somehow catches himself - "well, so if it's just the idea of something that's wholly inexplicable ... something that brings you something good, but can't be traced to a root of cause ... I think I understand, Icchan. There's something really fun about not knowing everything, right?" He's beaming. It took him upwards of tens of minutes, in their adventure through here and their subsequent settling at their seats before the show, and he's smiling. Kise, for his part, had spent most of his recent time in books with everything that had been going on - both to better understand the changes effecting him, and as something less of a fairweather friend he'd been able to depend on when ... when ...

The frost is pushed back by the warmth of emerald. He sighs, giggling out soft peals until his face burns as red as his victim's hair. "S-sorry, Icchan. I think I might have gotten a little too --"

The other boy had started speaking at the same time, but one sound won over each, and they were hushed by the symphony orchestrated by rising curtains.

It was electric. It wasn't just one thing - like a spark for a flame - but a fan for embers that had struggled to remain alight for weeks, only to roar and roar and roar until he thought he might fall out his seat, the straighter he sat up. There was a bunny. A bunny! How eager and amazed could the look on one little boy's face be, as awash with the specularity as it was, ears reddened by the exertion of his excitement rather than any embarrassment? He 'ooh'd and he 'aah'd, and it all came from the heart of innocence itself, unburdened or fettered, only engrossed - again - in one more dazzling spectacle. He was clapping, giddy, forgetting himself - his age - his role - and as the bullet came out of its barrel, he gasped: but the bunny again! It returns!

There's a shift in the air as he experiences this - and his eyes, they rise above the ocean to a spider lilied sky, as vibrant as the show before them. Tomoe creep in at every new raucous exclamation while he catches every movement and wink but still can't delve into its truth. He has no choice but to remain entranced, and the people around him, well, they have even less - waves of elation ripple from Kiseki to the crowd, an aurora across the aisles, and the air becomes spiked - intoxicated - with this same amazement, until every round of applause is a wheel of its own fortune and every holler a howl at the rising sun.

And then it's over, the air lifting, the lights flicking on, and his eyes are red around the rim; but atlantis has bobbed its way back, and he finds his boyfriend among the waves. He's still grinning, rubbing his forehead without a thought given. For some reason, he feels lethargic, now. The excitement has gotten to him. His circuits burn in unequal measure, and he chalks this to his engrossement. "I-Icchan?"

The boy continues his thought from earlier, and exertion has no claim on the territory of bashfulness that sieges his cheeks. A giggle. A nervous, heartfelt titter, and the boy is so small again, sunk into his seat. "I-Icchan. You're silly."

... " ... I love you, too. ♡"

 

[Kazanari Ichika]

Is this what flying feels like? The fleeting moment of calm before his love's declaration roars in through the clamor of the exiting patrons. Its spoken in a reserved, hushed tone and yet the weight of such words brands his heart in his enthralling shade of blue. Soaring through the skies in a world that was painted in his color, fluttering wings to bask in his radiant light for as long as that blessed gale lasts. The concept of loneliness did not exist in that beautiful world, colored in that sweeping canvas of azure. A beautiful world where loneliness doesn't exist.

"I love you" is a powerful spell. If Ichika wasn't flushed bright red already, he surely would be now. "I love you, too!" He shouts, feet firmly planted upon the earth, forgetting his place among the scurrying theater. It was the first immediate thought - a Pavlovian trigger in the form of honeyed words. "See you just cast a spell on me! I didn't even think before shouting it out! If that's not magic, I don't know what is." He giggles, leaning in to kiss his beloved's cheek, hiding his heated face against colder skin as he rubs together in warm embrace. "Oh yeah! You're such a little nerd, huh? I think you're sooo cute for trying to explain everything logically. But, that is one of the many things I love about you~ So, what did you think about the show?" He tilts, looking at the little cat with such inquisitive eyes, filled with the hope that this made him happier, even if just a little. He waits patiently for the boy to answer, before taking his hand, wrapped ever so secure to lead them to their next destination for the day.

---

He leads his boyfriend through the streets like an overly eager dog dragging his master along on his leash, every footstep drowning out by his rapidly beating heart. He's excited, noticeably seen in every little movement and peek at Kise. The trek isn't very far from the theater, a rare display of careful planning by Ichika. It's a cozy little diner with a relaxing atmosphere. The buzzing of neon lights that trim the exterior and the smell of coffee filling the air in harmonious ambiance. Lucky! Ichika hurries over, leading his date to a private little corner booth, a childish grin as he scoots into those red leather seats, popping open the menu to hide his smile. "Heheh~ I've never actually been to one of these places before. I'm happy it's with you. Order anything you want, tiger~" The purpose today was to have fun and also try to communicate a little better after all that they've been through together. It's been too much and Ichika resents the fact that such a perfect day could have a bitter aftertaste, but it's something that had to be done. "I guess this is the time for us to really talk, huh? So... I guess.. I just really want to know how you've been. I really missed you, y'know?"

 

[Akane Kiseki]

Poor little Kiseki - oh, but how his bashful cheeks burn for the other boy on such an emboldened declaration, the light catching the way he stumbles sheepishly backward just right to accentuate every soft feature. He catches himself with his hands finding Ichika - always, always - and clings to his sleeves, head unsure if it should be peeking out of the hole in his shirt or burrowing down to hide his embarrassed expression. Some things he'd never get used to, but he'd always cherish. His gaze swept shyly away, then up at Ichika, then blinked to look back down again, to the side, up again. He settled on the other's eyes, jade and aquamarine together, and smiled under his blush. "You're too ... silly, sometimes, Icchan. Gosh. We're in public ..." There wasn't any edge to his tone. It served a very poor admonishment.

He darts a kiss to one of Ichika's cheeks after receiving one in turn, moving faster than he supposes he ever has before to sneak that one in and right himself. "I-I'm not a nerd! Maybe you should be paying more attention to our Chakra Applications studies, Icchan. Or do you just need more - more, uhm, personal tutoring?" A boyish giggle. Bleh! His shoulders shook, angling upward to help his hand brush hair from his exaltation and stick his tongue out at the redhead without quite meeting his eyes again. He had to find some sort of breath again before Ichika took it all away. ... He squeezes his arm. "It was really fun. I've never seen anything like it. I-I think you're right. Some things are maybe, just ..." and he looked again, runny blue without tears to steal from its gentle shades, "... magic."

---

This works for Kiseki, following behind Ichika with a hand wrapped around his or a crumple of his shirt; stumbling occasionally, sure, but worriless, content with his place by his side. It was the definition of lighthearted. Steps passed and his embarrassment faded the longer he drew strength from his boyfriend's unabashed joy, continuing to titter nervously but picking up his own steps to lag no more behind. And when the atmosphere hit him, well - his eyes hadn't gorged themselves on wonder just yet. He beamed, and then he turned to do the same at Ichika, just to be sure. "You're so lovely, Icchan."

He settled into their seats together, playing a foot to lightly tap against Ichika's ankles on quiet sways. Cozy. It was cozy. ... He felt cozy. "I-I eat a lot of egg dishes, usually ... but I've never been here either. That seems safe, right, I think? Or should I experiment some ... I'm getting a little tired of chicken, etto ... beef? They have so many beef plates ... Could I ... and then ... but this ..." His voice trailed off in rumination, the studious slant to his head as he absorbed the menu begetting how seriously he was treating Ichika's hospitality. "What were you thinking, honey--?"

But he had almost interrupted him in distracted thought and that wouldn't do. A question had been posed. Lips were forced up, shifting strained cheeks to hide away the lines of exhaustion and despondency that encroached upon Kiseki's eyes. His skin felt cold again beneath the surface. His eyes ached, and he saw the scene play out with glitched edges and missing pieces again & again in his head; waking up, staring in the mirror, slumping to the floor. Waking up, staring in the mirror, slumping to the floor. The scene got redder, and redder, the snow bloodying until the only white left was the lady who played kendama in the corner. Tap, rap, tap. Wake up: how long does it take to move? Stare in the mirror: what's staring back in discoloration? Slump to the floor: what hands puppeteer you to your feet again?

"I've been okay. You know, our Genin exams are coming up, Icchan. Have you been okay? Do you feel prepared for them?"

 

[Kazanari Ichika]

The last thing Ichika wanted was for this outing to be colored in a shade of melancholy. For this magical date to deprecate into a tarnished memory. "Hmmm. I think I'll just keep it simple and order a burger. It just feels right, yeah?" This wasn't an interrogation, so he'd allow that lie to remain, simply smiling up at his boyfriend, his legs responding in kind to brush up against him beneath the table. There was a lot to be said and truthfully, Ichika didn't think this far ahead. It was more difficult than he thought. He's seemed to come to some sort of terms with the spectral girl that haunted them at the graveyard and yet Ichika was left in the dark, afraid for the only person he cared about.

He forced down those fears, reaching across the table to take his hand, gently rubbing along his knuckles. He's so cold. He's always cold. For someone like Ichika this was a reprieve from the tumultuousness and stress of their way of life. But, Kiseki's subzero oasis is not enough to quench his reservations. Not this time. His expression clouds, the sun obstructed by things he's yet to really figure out. "Oh yeah... I guess they are, huh? I haven't really been thinking about it lately..." Ask him. You have to. Ichika understands that things can never fundamentally be okay until things are out in the open... But is it really worth doing it now? He's tapping away at the snowy landscape, little embers sizzling and fading out at the first kiss of winter's embrace. He's frozen. A single step upon this icy river will melt it away, leaving them both drowning in the abyssal depths again.

"Hey..." He pauses, biting down on the inside of his mouth. A shot of pain to silence the pounding of his heart. "I'll let you talk about the things left unsaid when you feel ready, okay, hon? About the girl and what happened back then. The pain and weakness I know that we both feel from it." He pauses again, hands trailing along his hands with a gentle caress before reaching up to grasp his beautiful face. Ah. A thirst evaporated in the splendor of ocean blue and how the waves shimmer in spite of their sorrow. "So... Until then..."

"Fight me!" an insistent tone, carrying his roaring declaration throughout the tiny diner. He leans over the table, lips kindled in a soothing flame to brand his forehead in a tender kiss. "Let's train together, tiger. Seriously this time No holding back!. Last time we didn't really... " Blushed cheeks as he settles back down into his seat, fingers running through his hair to distract himself. "I just want to stick together as partners. And.. there's no reason we have to do things alone. I need you... more than you know."

 

[Akane Kiseki]

We could play a little game.

Kiseki's pallor paled - but what substantial question did that pose from his usual countenance? It was his eyes, their dulling, that disquieted the waves they bobbed along. For but that brief moment - the passing of the thought and the words Ichika left hang in the air - their sunny day clouded with the threat of hail. Tense fingers curled into his knee, but that hurt less than the throb of his heart. "Oh," he managed, but no more. He was paying now as he looked back into Ichika's eyes, drowning little specks of gold in his own as if they could refract the treasure before him. Paying for this sin of despondency. He'd choke on his sorrow as easily as the painful thrum in his neck, but he wouldn't suffocate Ichika along with it. "Yeah." What more could he say? What more was worth saying? Did Ichika even want to hear it - his excuses, his lies, his allusions - when he so clearly saw through the tremors in his figure? When had Kiseki Akane become so transparently fragile?

Hadn't it always been so?

That's what I like about you, Kiseki-chan. His ear pricked with the voice until the chill down his arms found solace in Ichika's gentle touch. A constant battle. You want to break so badly -- oh, oh, but you won't, wouldn't you, Ki✰se✰ki? That's what I like about you. Her arms hung around his shoulders as he watched his boyfriend absolve him of the guilt he felt, once again. Thankfully there was a noose in waiting. He spoke automatically through it. "Thank you." His voice wasn't hollow, it was bundled away, muffled. Lest he bleed through the bandages. That's what we love about you, isn't it? And we'll keep trying.

Just to see that smile of yours. Two specters, white and red, and they wanted only his happiness; and how in such different ways, such different releases? What was he to do about that? Well, his best. His everything. So he started, pushing up through the peck on his head to shove his lips against Ichika's and drag a gasp of heat to fill his chest. "Yes. Yes! Okay! We'll fight!! I - I need you, too!" When had he started shouting? He didn't shy away this time from the idea of going toe to toe with his love and their ferocity. If anything ... ah, ah, if anything ... he needed it. Desperately, and that shone in the rage that built from the depths of the ocean and exploded outward in the gaze leveled on Ichika Kazanari. "Let's fight! Let's get stronger! Let's -- let's be together, forever!"

What else was there to do?

[ thread exit ]