Revised and Expanded: A Complaint

[Santaru Rin]

Dear Sennin:

It isn't often that I become annoyed enough with a fellow village official enough to write a letter to him. However, I have heard of a recent incident within the Cronopolis that has left me both angry and frustrated as well as disappointed. Moreover, I have other concerns that I have repeatedly attempted to address with you to no avail; it is for this reason that you find my correspondence nailed to your door, another copy attached to your chair, and a final copy--well, I believe you will find it.

As one who has but recently reactivated from retirement, I am far from knowledgable about current events in Kumogakure no Sato. However, I am certain that the laws regarding assault have not been removed from the books and are, in fact, still being actively enforced. Because of this, I can only shake my head when reports of your altercation with my Vice Commander reached my desk. Your shameful, infant-like fists have nevertheless managed to batter the respectability and credibility of the office of the Sennin in our village. I can only respectfully request that you restrict your over-indulgence to more private locations in the future, and that you likewise restrict your intimate advances to unmarried men.

After several attempts by courier to tender an invitation to meet, I have finally surrendered to the inevitable and hand-delivered this letter to the areas I am assured that you regularly visit. Please notify me in advance when we may meet so that we may discuss issues of village security, especially regarding the stationing of guards at our Gates. I realize that the position of Main Branch Sennin is a taxing and busy role, but we have matters of public order and safety to resolve which can no longer be delayed.

Sincerely,

Santaru Rin
ANBU Sennin

 

[Santaru Rin]

Dear Sennin,


It saddens me to hear that the Main Branch is in such dire need of personal instruction at all times in order to perform their duties with due diligence. I extend my personal regrets that you have to deal with so many malcontents and incompetents in your command. It was my impression that Main Branch personnel had become quite well-trained and capable subsequent to the reigns of Aion Dawnbringer and Takao the Mad, but perhaps the situation is deteriorating under your tenure as Sennin. I shall be certain to keep an eye on developments and apprise you of any inadequacies among your staff.

A casual perusal of your file informs me that you have quite the struggle with alcohol yourself, and events from the evening in question seem to support this. As a fellow leader, I strongly suggest that you seek counseling and reparative therapy. Further events may necessitate you being relieved of your duties until released by medical personnel. I am also well-advised of Horo Danshi's condition as a savant, a substance-abuser, and potential heretic--no wonder your sympathies lie with him. I understand that you want to protect this troubled man, but we cannot allow our personal feelings to dictate our responses to situations, nor should we allow them to cloud the truth. It appears I misunderstood your intent based on the reports I received from witnesses. If you felt that Takaki-san's presence at the bar interfered with your attempts at courting Horo-san, perhaps you could have found a better way of shaping your response.

I must also extend my apologies that I cannot accede to your request, framed as it was; I'm sure you understand. Indeed, for one so busy micromanaging his subordinates' pursuits, I am surprised that you could even find the time in your day to make such arrangements. I am truly grateful that you would think of the ANBU during your most difficult time. I wish you great fortune in your pursuit of Horo-san's attentions.


With regards,
Santaru Rin
ANBU Sennin

 

[Takaki Saeko]

Dear Sennin Fujinami,

I am afraid you must stop writing these little love letters to my wife while she and I live together. It is one of the things which is not done in our world.

You are very young. Won't you ask your partner Horo Danshi to explain to you the impossibility of such a situation?

Please do not make me have to write to you again. I do not like scolding people and I simply hate having to teach them manners.

Yours sincerely,

Takaki Masao
Vice Commander, ANBU

 

[Santaru Rin]

Dear Sennin:

Forgive me this brief missive. We are quite busy, and I would not wish to waste a subordinate's time taking my dictation.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks. The Aesculapium has begun a new program which might prove quite helpful to you both.

Related: I have it on good authority that Horo-san enjoys the milk stout from the Sinister brewery as well as imported whiskey from the Marsh Country. Perhaps with some assistance he will understand your most sincere affections.

I yet await your decision on a time to meet and discuss our mutual business of security. I fear you must have forgotten to include a date in a previous letter. If you cannot come to a decision, I will simplify matters.


Unilaterally yours,

Santaru Rin, ANBU Sennin

 

[Takaki Saeko]

Dear Sennin Fujinami,

I'd challenge you to a duel if I thought you capable of actually withstanding my wife's crushing thighs, but upon realizing that you were merely responding to my serious request with juvenile humor, I present to you my own appropriately juvenile response.

Spoiler

Dick Butt

Sincerely,
Takaki Masao
Vice Commander, ANBU

 

[Santaru Rin]

Dear Sennin,

As much as I enjoy a duel, I must apologize that now is the time to bring this repartee to a close. You have revealed yourself as quite unequal to the task. The order you point to is no longer pertinent; indeed, it is greatly out of date. While it is a pleasure to see that someone still follows the historical wend of Kumogakure law and order, you know as well as I that internal security is the province of the ANBU and has been since well before the first reign of Kagetsu Kiyo. The order to which you refer was subsequently overturned and was never reinstated.

If you will not set a meeting with me to discuss a reasonable division of duties, then I will suborn Main Branch personnel as necessary to ensure that critical functions are fulfilled to the required operating standards. You have shown yourself unwilling to carry out your duties as the leader of the Main Branch, not only in your refusal to conduct a meeting at a reasonable time with one of your peers, but also in your conduct and the neglect of the Main Branch organization. Your sluggish and demoralized staff can attest to this. Moreover, I have discovered numerous irregularities in your branch's payroll, suggesting, if not outright defalcation, then at the very least abuse of your staff and the authority entrusted in you... Or perhaps you have been too obsessed with certain personal pursuits to provide sufficient oversight.

I do not inform you of this deficiency to extort or blackmail you. I will shortly send a compilation of your internal control environment weaknesses, circumvented and non-existent controls, and irregularities and errors to the Office of the Raikage. A carbon copy will be sent to you for your perusal. Perhaps you can rectify some of these issues before the Raikage directs his staff to take a more personal approach to your branch's finances.

If you can find time to compose libelous correspondence, you are certainly capable of arranging a meeting at the time and place of your choice.


Regards,

Santaru Rin, ANBU Sennin

Enclosed: (1) Sample of Accounts; (2) Documentation of Sampled Irregularities; (3) Payment Advices for Inuzuka Gekido

cc: Takaki Masao
cc: Secretary Hitomi