So You Think You Possess Aptitude? [Private - PM to Enter]

[Tanuki Rinko]

Tomo walked into the theater, scratching the black side of his hair. Today his troupe was holding auditions for possible new recruits, as a few of their members had retired recently. Since Tomo was the manager-in-training, his father had ordered him to run the events from now on, alongside a few of his siblings. He walked down the middle aisle leading to the stage, and saw a table set up in front of the first row. Seeing who were seated there, Tomo let out an exasperated sigh. "Great, out of all my siblings, it had to be Takama and Kimiki."

The cruelest of his siblings, these two were surely going to cause trouble today. Only the middle of the three seats were open, and Tomo jumped over the backing to plop into it, unfolding it with his rump. An arm swiftly wrapped around Tomo's neck on his right, pulling him towards his brother's manly chest. A knuckle began to dig into his head. "Could you be anymore late? Some manager-in-training you are. Maybe dad should give me the troupe when he goes kaput." The small pink-haired woman to Tomo's left chimed in. "Come now Takama. We all know that if Tomo died, I would be the one taking over." Takama narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, because you'd have manipulated your way to the top." She smiled innocently. "Exactly!" Tomo escaped his brother's grasp and pounded the table with his fists. "Enough! Let's just get on with this, alright?" The siblings shrugged in response, which was about the closest thing to an agreement he was going to get from them. "Alright, so where's the list?" He looked to Kimiki, who cocked an eyebrow. "What list?" Tomo brought a hand to his forehead. "The list of those who are auditioning today." The woman shook her head. "Oh silly Tomo. That's not how we do it here. Unlike other companies, we don't weed out the bad. That wouldn't be any fun for us. Everyone can just come in and show us what they've got! See?" Kimiki handed Tomo the flyer that had been promoting their auditions. His eye twitched as he read it.

So You Think You Possess Aptitude?
Come one, come all! Show off your performing skills to the Mochizuki Troupe!
Maybe YOU have a chance at stardom!
Auditions begin at 10am and run until 5pm at Mochizuki Theater​

"Kimiki, this title is horrid." His sister scratched her nose. "Yeah, but the one I wanted to use was copyrighted." Tomo sighed before continuing. "Not to mention this whole idea is atrocious. What's stopping someone from coming in with a ridiculous talent...like putting dynamite in one's mouth and lighting the fuse?" Takama chimed in. "Oh, you mean Kiri? Yeah, he already tried out last time." Kimiki clapped her hands. "Ooo! I hope he comes back for an encore! Maybe this time he'll actually blow up!"

Trying to ignore his elder sister's morbid look on things, and praying to Raiden that Kiri didn't come back, Tomo shrugged. "Alright, well let's just get on with this." Takama punched Tomo in the arm. "Not so fast. We haven't decided our roles. I call the one who gets to blatantly put people down no matter what." Kimiki waved her arm in the air. "Oh oh! I call the one who gets to call people dog!" Tomo brought his fingers to his temples and began to massage them. Haruki, the ghost living in Tomo's mind, decided to join in. Ooohoohoohoo! So we get to be the super nice one that will lift people up with kind words before inevitably crush their dreams? Obviously Tomo-boy you are not up to this task, being the grumpy man you are, so you should tag me in. Tomo growled. "Okay, one, I think we just jumped references here. Two, we aren't going to play roles. Just tell them what they need to hear and be honest." Takama slugged Tomo in the arm again. "Hey! I called the brutally honest one that gets to say whatever I want." Tomo rubbed his aching arm, sighing heavily in resignation. "Okay, fine, whatever. Let's just get this travesty over with."

It was no surprise that most of the performers were horrible. There was a girl who thought she could sing, a man who thought riding a unicycle was special, and of course Kiri returned. But those were only the beginning. By the time noon rolled around, Tomo was slumped on the table, groaning. "This is why we screen acts Kimiki. We just wasted the morning." Kimiki happily scribbled on her clipboard that she always carried with her. "Speak for yourself! What can't perform, can still be of use." An evil grin spread on her lips, and Tomo shuddered to think what she had planned. Takama stretched back in his chair. "You have to admit, that guy who could shove 130 peeps in his mouth was rather impressive." The memory caused Tomo to cringe. "That was gross. Not to mention in no universe would that come in handy." Kimiki chimed in again. "Speak for yourself." Tomo placed his face in his hands. "Ugh, just...NEXT!" Tomo shouted for the next person to hop on stage.

 

[Ren]

Re: So You Think You Possess Aptitude? [Private - PM to Ente

Ren chuckled as he picked up the flyer he saw blowing around the street. “Do you possess aptitude?” He read on picking up the details of the audition that was to be held later in the day. The plan to rock the audition formulated instantly. He would cast the genjutsu "Appreciation of Music" on whoever was listening and sing them a beautiful song accompanied by his own guitar playing. Mixed with the genjutsu, if all goes according to plans, this should blow their minds.

Beaming with anticipation Ren headed home to grab his guitar and amp; it was going to be a splendid time auditioning. Playing music was Ren’s second calling after his Shinobi lifestyle.

Shouting to his mother as he sauntered out the front door he announced his plans for the day. Whistling to the tune that was to be sung as he strolled towards the Mochizuki Theater he could only begin to imagine his life of stardom. All the love songs he could dedicate to every girl in the audience, the affection he’d receive from his adoring fans, and his life of music. Oh man, the babes he’d enchant with his music, he created them in his head as he walked. The long legs, the soft skin, slim body, all the right curves in all the right places, blonde hair WAIT brunette… or maybe a natural redhead or man, who cares as long as they’re beautiful and smart… and funny… and fun to be around. Ren let out a sigh, he’d never find the girl of his dreams but musical stardom might help. If not there can be plenty of girls to enjoy on the way. He giggled to himself as he approached the Theater.

Once in the theater he wandered around for a while until he found the backstage area. There was a large group of people Ren labeled as “the freak show,” as open to body modification as Ren was huge gauges and bodies covered in tattoos looked creepy, add disgustingly flexible acrobatics to the mix and it was enough to draw some strange looks. It was hard to move his gaze off them. He noticed several other musicians; some jugglers and one stand up comedian with apparent mental issues. He heard some horrid acts but some were fairly decent. There were plenty of musical performances that could’ve used some genjutsu help, or just more talent. Ren sat near the stages entrance and tuned his guitar quietly. “NEXT” he heard someone shout and made a move towards the stage.

Ren carried his beat up electric guitar and handheld amp to the stool sitting near the front of the stage and introduced himself to the three judges leaning towards the mic. Hello, my name is Ren, pleased to meet ya. As you can see, I’ll be playing the guitar and singing for you. Throwing the strap around his shoulder and propping the guitar up on his knee he ducked his hands behind the base of the guitar and cast the genjutsu "Appreciation of Music", there shouldn’t be many reasons for the judges to be expecting a genjutsu so it should hit effectively. Now for the fun part, Ren cleared his throat and began.

Please enjoy my wonderful performance

After finishing Ren let a slight grin appear on his lips and awaited the response that would hopefully catapult him onto a path towards stardom.

 

[Tanuki Rinko]

Re: So You Think You Possess Aptitude? [Private - PM to Ente

The three Mochizuki watched as a guy walked in, an acoustic guitar and amp in his hands. He introduced himself as Ren, and the judges jotted it down on the paper before them. Kimiki and Takama eyed the kid intently, while Tomo closed his eyes to better listened to the coming performance. An odd wave came over the young man, and his mind began to feel a bit foggy. A ghostly voice yelled. Oh for goodness sake Tomo-boy! Do I have to do everything when it comes to Genjutsu? The murkiness in his brain began to clear as his spectral companion pushed out the jutsu. Tomo opened his eyes, blinking twice as he tried to piece together what happened. A glance to his siblings told Tomo exactly what he needed to know. They were silent as the boy sang his song, but once he was finished, Takama started in.

"This ain't our first rodeo kid. You really think you're the first shinobi to audition? You really think you're the only one who has attempted to use Genjutsu to make yourself look better? Before you were learning to speeeeell your naaaame, I was going on missions to save our country. I've probably been a shinobi longer than you've been alive kid, so don't think your little mind games are going to work." The redhead tapped his forehead, as if to say his willpower was stronger than Ren's ever would be. The man crossed his arms, showing he was done speaking, and so Kimiki gave her two cents.

"Listen up Dawg! When ya gotta use Gen to get us to like your performance, ya obviously are compensatin' for somethin'. But I like you Dawg, and I like your style. Plus one Dawg, plus one." The pink-haired woman gave a sign which may or may not be racially insensitive, but she was in the zone, the role, so she wasn't thinking about whether her actions could be considered tactless. She looked to Tomo for his response.

"That actually was pretty good. I don't know if I appreciate the Genjutsu, but I know my twin has done it many times and is still in the troupe, so I won't count it against you. Just be careful who you use it on, others may find it offensive to the point of beating the ever-loving crap out of you." Tomo glanced at Takama, who wiggled his eyebrows at Ren. "I can't tell if Takama was giving you a good or bad mark, but Kimiki and I voted yes. Therefore, you've passed the first test. All that's left is the written application." Tomo waved his hand, and a stack of papers floated to the guitar player. "Fill theses out and turn them in. You can either stay until we look them over, or you can head out and we'll get back to you." Tomo motioned for Ren to take a seat in one of the many auditorium seats to fill out the form. "NEXT!"

Mochizuki Troupe Form
Name:
Age: (if you are a minor, you must have your parents' consent...if your parents are still alive that is)
Talent:
Personality:
Brief History:
Fears:
Have you or a friend ever gone missing?:
Do you ever plan to go missing?:
Have you or a friend ever gone on a murderous rampage?:
Do you ever plan to go on a murderous rampage?:
If you could be any color, what would it be and why?:
Would you be open to dealing with the drug cartel?:
Who is your favorite Mochizuki performer and why?:

 

[Osuteno]

Re: So You Think You Possess Aptitude? [Private - PM to Ente

Spoiler

Osu walked out on the stage dressed in his best kimono prepared for him by the women of the Susukino shopping district with a dead look in his eyes and an emotionless expression on his face and went up to the microphone. He stared up at it before lowering it to his height. The eight-year-old looked around the tent before he began to speak. “I am here to tell you all jokes because I read it is a good way to go about making people more comfortable around you. Normally when I try to get to know other ninja they look down at me and ask me about myself. I typically start off saying that I am a Chigokai, I am looking to be in the medical branch, I like long walks, I really like sweets and I love good tea. For some reason after I mention the long walk bit some older ninja will book it like I am a demon in the flesh and start yelling about there being another one. I have no idea why either but I decided to start throwing jokes into my introductions so people would get to know me first before they ran away.” His tone was cold and flat if still somehow a little adorable but made the promise of humor a bit surprising.

“While I was working on my act I went clothes shopping and told the sales person I was thinking about cross dressing because people found that funny. She handed me boy’s clothing. If you don’t know why that is funny it is because you think I am a girl.”

“I was at the practice range the other day working on my kunai throwing technique when a friend came up to me. He told me that there was a genin there who had been going at it all day but had yet to hit his target and asked if I thought the guy could ever get it down. Well I yelled ‘Sure-he-can!’ And my friend started to ask why I had so much confidence in the guy when he got hit from behind with a shuriken. I tried to warn him.” He waited a few moments before continuing, his own expression unchanging.

“I was with a kunoichi who had the toad contract the other day and we were enjoying some tea and a good conversation with her summons. After a while she noticed that someone had been listening to our conversation and went after him. I looked at her toads and said ‘Come on guys I wouldn't expect you to leave a fly on the wall alone.” Again he waited a few moments quietly before continuing.

“I was shoved aside by a really scary looking Kaguya while walking through the park earlier. I didn't say anything to him because he looked like he had a bone to pick and I didn't want it to be one of mine.”

“I saw a Nara walking home the other day late after he had been out with a woman besides his wife, he looked like he was afraid of his own shadow. I would be to, his shadow is about as possessive as his wife.”

“I know a guy who claims he is a master of mirror jutsu, but he really needs to polish up his skills.”

“I saw some ninja mimes the other day and I wondered if I ever had to fight any of them would I have to use a silencer? Thank you for listening to my act and not running away screaming like some adults.”

Throughout the act the 8-year-old's face never changed expressions and his eyes remained cold and distant. On the inside though he was all smiley and nervous, not that he realized this was not very well expressed on his face. He looked at his audience and regardless of their reactions bowed politely and waited for the judges’ opinions and his cue to get off the stage. He wasn't there to try and join any group or achieve stardom, he just wanted pointers on his comedy routine.​

 

[Tanuki Rinko]

Re: So You Think You Possess Aptitude? [Private - PM to Ente

The Mochizuki three watched as a small child took the stage. Tomo couldn't quite put his finger on why this girl seemed familiar, but something about that purple hair and those red eyes yanked at his memories, trying to bring up a name. The siblings gave each other a glance during the kid's introduction, fearing the worst that this girl would have to offer. Tomo could visibly see Kimiki flinch at the monotone of the youth's voice. She always was pretty sensitive about sound.

The first joke came out, and there was a moment of silence. Despite the flat delivery, Kimiki gave a light snicker. However, it was probably more because she found the suffering of children and men entertaining. Takama's face held a perplexed expression, his brows furrowed deeply. "Wait...you're not a girl?" Tomo wondered if his brother had fallen for any other traps before, considering the current disbelief the older Mochizuki had. Suddenly, it clicked in Tomo's mind. Koji Osuteno! Wow...he's...wow. And I thought I looked girly when I was a child. If Sennin Takaki were alive...well...yeah, this kid would definitely have to wear a skirt. Memories floated back to Tomo, some good, most bad.

The next joke came, and Kimiki visibly facepalmed. Despite the material being pretty good, his delivery was atrocious, therefore making his act atrocious. For the next gag, Takama visibly flinched at the forced dialogue. The Kaguya joke was able to get a chuckle out of the three, as the monotone added to it instead of killing it. The Nara joke caused the Mochizuki's to blink in surprise. It was a more mature humor, and they had to wonder from whom the boy learned it. The next one was more suited to the child, so it didn't get much of a response. His last joke ended the way his gig began, with silence.

The boy bowed and waited judgment. Takama sighed heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Is this...a game to you? Is it fun to come up here and waste my time? That performance was Raiden awful! The delivery, the jokes themselves. Really? A silencer with mimes? That doesn't even make sense!" Takama pointed at Osuteno sharply, a frown on his face. "You, kid, need to get off my stage and out of my sight. You are a disgraced." The redhead waved a dismissive hand, showing he was done with his opinion. Whether it was true, or him just playing his role, was anyone's guess.

Next it was Kimiki's turn, and she tapped her pencil on the table. "Alright Dawg, listen Dawg. You and me? We didn't click. Ya gotta annunciate. Ya gotta fluctuate. Ya gotta get ridda' that mo-no-tone! You know what I'm sayin' Dawg? Speech lessons Dawg, get 'em." Kimiki suddenly pulled out a book from under the table. "Or buy my book. Reform to Perform: Good Performing and How You Do It. Only 3000 yen. Buy it today. ...Dawg."

Tomo quickly jumped in, hoping to save Osuteno's poor soul from the money leech that was Kimiki. "Your material was pretty good. Those jokes were quite comical." Now dash his dreams Tomo-boy! Dash them against the jagged rock that is your constructive criticism! "But your delivery was off. Unless all of your jokes pander to your straight-man, flat tone, you need to learn to change your pitch. Come back in a few years and we'll see how you do then. NEXT!" Tomo's call for the next performer was Osuteno's cue to head on home.