The inclined fate

[Keiji]

OOC: This is after Solo Mission "Curiosity Killed the.." Part 4 (end)

No sleep, no sleep whatsoever. It was difficult enough to close his eyes alone as see kept seeing his actions he had done before his eyes.
There was no tears, no regret, just fear of the result from his actions, the acceptance of it all.

He had written on a piece of parchment the details of his discoveries, even noted the documents he found in the house, and everything that had transpired afterwards.
His face were straight, his voice monotone and dark.
Luckily due to his sleepless night he had managed to clean his clothes making the blood vanish so he was wearing his spare.

He knocked on the door almost silently and with a delay in between. He was tired, and it would be clear visible on his eyes.

 

[Junan]

The previous day he'd been out on a mission, returning a statue and checked out some personal issues with a man he trusted. On his return to the village he'd gone home and relaxed, a kind of peace of mind for him. He was at home alone that night though, his wife not wanting to be around him just in case it happened again. Understandable really. She and their son were staying next door.

The next morning Kushin had woken up, headed to the hospital to check on things only to realize that there was far more buzz going on than usual. When he investigated he found that the vault had exploded. The place where he, according to all authorities, stored the kinjutsu of the clans of Cloud. ANBU were there investigating and Kushin had a bunch of questions to answer, a shit load of paper work to fill out, and he knew it would only get worse when the council realized that he'd been fooling them as well. At least he could say "well it worked didn't it?"

Shit.

So who caused all of this?

It was the counter interrogation which gave Kushin the answers he needed. The ANBU were willing to share their account of things with him, after all he was a sennin. Umashi, a mednin in Cloud, had attempted to break into the vault. After all this occurred they had checked out his house for motive and found multiple dead bodies which they'd been searching for variable quantities of time. This left Kushin at an in passe. The name Umashi had rung a bell, and Kushin wasn't sure why it did other than assuming that he'd heard the name as being the mans boss and all.

Until Keiji was mentioned. The youngster had caught the man and killed him. Well that wasn't very useful, though from what the reports said there was little else the boy could have done. It was a reactionary thing, not a deliberate one, and so, shit happened.

This was why Kushin had called Keiji to his office.

When the soft knocking sound found its way to Kushin's ears he frowned.

Come in if that's Keiji, if it's not, I'm busy.

 

[Keiji]

Opening the door reluctantly he peaked his head inside first, just to check if Kushin were alone.
Taking slow, and soft steps inside, he closed the door behind him. Making sure no one was outside or nearby.

He walked up to his table and stood straight, his face looking down on the floor beneath him.

"I.. I brought a report from what happened, Kushin Sensei." He held the piece of paper in his hand and placed it on Kushin's already paper filled office table.

"Is.. Is there anything you would like to ask me about it?" He looked up with his tired eyes and his disturbed mind.

 

[Junan]

Taking the piece of paper from Keiji he placed it to the side of the desk without glancing at its contents. He had received most of the knowedge from an objective perspective, so it would be interesting to see Keiji's personal feelings come through in his own account. However Kushin could see that the boy was not feeling so good anyway.

Yes I would. Kushin answered the question, either seemingly unaware of Keiji's mental state or uncaring of it.

I want to know your personal feelings towards what happened last night, not your account of events. I already know generally what happened, I want to know from you how this makes you feel. He was your sensei wasn't he? This must feel like a betrayal. And if one sensei betrayed you then perhaps another could. After all that would be a logical conclusion to draw, even if you've not reached it yet yourself, you'll get there. So, I want you to tell me.

How did Keiji feel during this whole ordeal?

 

[Keiji]

Umashi's actions were, to be literal acts of betrayal to Kumo, as well as to the Hospital, and through that Kushin's own trust would be broken as well.

Keiji's mind had been going on and on about this whole thing. Why? How? And what Keiji should feel in regards to Umashi's actions.
"I hate Umashi.." He paused and took a short breath "I hate him.. I hate him of keeping this kind of secret for me, I hate him for having done it, I hate him for all the good things he has done, since what he's done now, renders all his past actions mute. In everyone's he will now be labelled as a traitor.. And me? I'll be labelled as one that had received training from a betrayer of the village.." His voice trembled slightly, his emotions were taking over, and his eyes remained tired, just waiting to be closed.

"I'm bound by this, not only because of Umashi but because of myself.. Having been with him for these many years, I could've stopped him before any of all this even started, I blame myself for this!" He held his hand on his chest. "And it pains me to admit I had no idea of any of this.. I can't explain any of it. Why? For money? Fame? Or simply for a different belief? The worst part of it all.." His voice trailed off slightly as he looked down to the ground again ".. The bodies.." His fists tightened. ".. The hanging Bodies.. They looked like.." A tear escaped his eye, as his fists tightened all the more. "My.. Fa-"

He stopped himself in his words as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve..
He sniffed and looked back up at Kushin. "I apologize.. I shouldn't have said all that.."

"With regards to my personal feelings towards the eventual risk of another sensei betraying my trust, or that of the village.." A slight smile appeared on his lips.
"I don't."

He calmed his nerves and his hands. His face seemed calmer and more at ease after having said the last words.

"I trust you, my Sensei. And will be so for as long I am under your apprenticeship. And for all accounts and purposes, you are my only real sensei" He bowed as he said the words.

Words were unsaid though, and they instead repeated in his mind.
I don't fear it, I will for all future accounts, expect it. And prepare for it..

 

[Junan]

He sat and listened, perhaps this was Kushin's greatest attribute, he would listen. Perhaps he wouldn't always listen to precisely what was being said, but he listened at every level. His eyes gauged every act a person did, like a Hyuuga might, yet obviously with the limitations of his own knowledge and his very human eyesight. He listened to the intonations of the voice, the changes, the words which receive particular attention. The emotion.

But often it wasn't just what was said, but what went unsaid that counted most.

So it was that Kushin sat and believed that Keiji did hate Umashi for his act. Whether he hated him actually for what he did, it seemed like it wasn't, or whether it was because his own personal issues which could be linked back to him. He definitely hated the man. Kushin had broken down Keiji's own words into two things.

Keiji hated the man for apparently killing his family. The evidence may not have been substantiated, and Kushin had born witness to the blaze itself. There were plenty of people who wanted the family dead. Many unknown reasons could exists for them being there. Perhaps Umashi wanted to be a father to Keiji and had taken the fathers body for study using some dark arts. Kushin didn't know, but Kushin also knew that often there was more to something than face value. In addition to this slight which had caused Keiji some quite sever discomfort in his life, he had also become close to Keiji, become a father like figure to the boy. Someone to look up to when everything else was down. Stockholm syndrome was similar to this. Yet now the additional piece of information which nailed the reason of the hatred as being a personal slight was the line that because of him Keiji would be viewed to be a student of a traitor.

It was interesting how selfish Keiji was. How self obsessed.

Though he addressed Kushin's idea that Keiji might now distrust Kushin himself, he said he didn't. He came across calmer as he stated his loyalty to Kushin. Yet that made them more thought out. Kushin would accept the words, in the end Kushin wasn't one to take an apprentice and now that he had why would he betray the boy. That would be counter productive and a giant waste of his time. If he wanted the boys life to be used to simply get by on something then he'd do it, yet if that was how much the boy was worth to Kushin then he'd have done so without taking him under his wing.

I'm not a man who shares, nor one who will pat your back and make sure you're feeling okay. If there is anything I can ddo to help then let me know, but as you are you are you will be no help.

Do you want to take some time to calm yourself and set some goals? This way I'll know what it is that you want to achieve and that will let me know what it is that I need to do to help you achieve them. We will need to do this at some stage, so perhaps now, in light of recent events, would be the best time.

 

[Keiji]

The word of Kushin felt calming, soothing in a way, his intentions were clear. And made his worries feel at ease. A reassurance.

He asked for goals, a personal mission, a reason to continue in a way.

"But Sensei.." He took a deep breath to concentrate "This thing with Umashi-san, changes nothing" His tone started changing to a little upset, and violent one. "Nothing! As I said on our last mission. Where you asked me why I joined the Medical Branch.. I want to become stronger, and at the same time be better at being able to help, and assist the village!"

He tightened his fist and held it in front of himself. "I must become stronger regardless of everything that happens in my path!"

Brandishing his trademark gesture with his index and middle finger pointing out, he lifted his hand and pointed at Kushin. "I will not stray from this path, regardless of anything! And I can guarantee it!"

He turned and began to walk to the door. As he held the door handle he looked down to the floor.
"I will never stray from my goal of becoming stronger.. Regardless of whatever happens.."

He turned his head alone and looked back at Kushin. His whole expression had changed. He looked serious, angry and strong, his body stature had changed to that of someone with a purpose, and a strong heart to contain that purpose. His eye contact was unwavering as he spoke again. "Now, was there anything else Sensei?"

His grip on the door handle was tight, as was his free hand which was curled up in a fist.
I feel like punching something.. I need to punch this weakness in my heart out of me.. Damn these frustrations of mine!
I'm gonna go to the backyard and punch the training targets there..

 

[Junan]

But the goal to become stronger is so broad. Stronger of body? Stronger of mind? Stronger of spirit? Even then once you have selected one we would then select short term goals, once which have the ability to be grasped and for a short time gloried in.

He frowned in thought for a moment.

For example take my desire to make Kinjutsu operations legal. To do this I set myself many goals, dozens, I will only say the few major ones as my example.

Firstly I recognized a weakness in myself, I can't concentrate on study for long periods of time, so I set a goal. To be able to study more efficiently. I'm someone who does not like to sit around in an office all day pondering something, I like to do. Yet to do something I need to know as much as I can. Because of this I went to a colleague who I knew had one of these forbidden techniques and requested the Hell seal.

The Hell seal in combat is known to enhance genjutsu, yet outside of battle what is enhanced? I deduced with logic that it would be the mind, after all it is the mind which is the main center for genjutsu users strength. So with this seal I could study for short periods of time and learn far more than I could have without it. Turning a weakness of mine into a strength. Achieving my first goal.

Next I needed to make sure that if legalized we had the capability to perform these surgeries. I set a goal, to find people who believed in what I wanted to achieve, willing participants who would keep the surgeries secret. Of course I had trouble finding them, ANBU snooping on what I was doing, I had to take kekkei genkei illegally from the dead. Finally when I found a few men who were willing to undergo the procedures I got to practice. I had achieved two things with this. I firstly learned how to conduct the autopsy I needed to get the kekkei genkai on several bloodlines, and though I failed a few times at first I was making headway in beginning to successfully implant more than just eyes.

I documented my findings, they are written in books in the library now, something which at the time seemed impossible. Especially as the medical branch sennin had no desire to push anything but his own ideas. So I then had to find a way to replace him. My new goal. It was oddly easy. In the end he vouched to council that he needed to be replaced and that I should be the replacement. The council couldn't argue with it and then I was made Sennin.

I was in sight of my final goal I was in the position of Sennin, I had to go to the council and before them, the other sennin, and the Raikage, I had to make my proposal. I couldn't just tell them "this will be good for our shinobi" for shinobi were gaining kinjutsu anyway, just fewer of them. I had to come up with a reason for them to back it. That reason was murder. The very reason why Kinjutsu were illegal was my reason for legalizing it.

You want strength. I know this. So how are you going to get it? Training? It's a fair method. Missions? They give you experience. Learning Jutsu techniques? Gives you options. Mastering your bloodline? All of these are a means to get there. But how are you going to measure your progress?

Do you want to be able to beat someone in particular? Do you want to be able to achieve something in particular?

 

[Keiji]

He released the grip on the handle and turned around again..

"Right.. I see.." He said reluctantly.
Looking at the floor and taking a deep breath he entered into his mind to think deeply.

Few seconds in he lifted his head and held his hand by his chin, few seconds later he looked at the ceiling continuing to think deeply..

After a few minutes of continued deep thought, groaning and muttering something or other, he suddenly looked ahead, holding his hand out in a fist.
"Okay, okay okay okay! look here, I want to get stronger, both physically and mentally. Why? Because I want to be able to protect that which matters to me.." He looked intensely into Kushin's eyes.. Then back down again.
He looked slightly to the side and whispered to himself "Regardless if he already is able to defend himself.."

"In order to reach my goal, I need one.." He extended his index finger and indicated it with his other hand.
"More strength, by strength I mean upper body, as well as lower strength, I want to run faster, punch harder, faster, stronger and better.."

"And two.." He extended his middle finger and indicated that next.
"I want to master my innate abilities, be it Jutsu, my Kekkei Genkai.. And if necessary.." He gulped by the thought for a second "Get a Kinjutsu myself.."

"And three.." He extended his ring finger and indicated it as well.
"I want to be able to help, assist and be of use wherever I can, with this in mind I want to be able to heal my allies, and friends, do the necessary operations, and if called upon, to be the main support in missions.."

"And lasty.. Four.." He extended his little finger and indicated it last.
"I want the ability to calm myself.. I've had many issues of actually calming down when it was really needed.." He looked up at Kushin. "You see whenever I've been upset, angry or frustrated I usually just punched it out of me. But lately that hasn't been an option, so much talk, and planning, and thinking.. It gets strange y'know?"

He scratched his cheek after having gone through them all..
"That's about what I can come up with at this time.. I dunno what else to tell ya Kushin-sensei.."

 

[Junan]

Kushin nodded and once more listened. Keiji took the time to think things through, he was calmer now and a bit more relaxed. That could be seen by his body language, the way he scratched his cheek, the consideration.

Well then, for the first we need something for you to measure yourself against. Perhaps we could have regular sparring sessions? It was an offer, after all Kushin felt that his own abilities had grown stagnant, he wasn't getting faster or stronger. At least he didn't feel like it. We will set target goals for you to achieve, once you have achieved something you weren't able to in a previous sparring session you'll know you will have gotten stronger. Sometimes by doing this you will be tested by your abilities, jutsu and clan, so we could have this as a means to test both.

Support however could not be measured in an arena. So the third one would require other practices. To test this I will have you perform missions with me regularly. During these missions I will require you to heal shinobi and do the job that I normally do. I will judge whether you have improved or not and will be able to give you guidance.

For the fourth you managed to calm yourself here just now. The first reaction we all have as youngsters when we get frustrated is to punch, hit something. Stomping our feet or flopping on our bellies kicking and punching the floor. As we grow this turns into punching a wall or other object. The worst cases continue this into adulthood and punch other people. Sometimes when you get frustrated, angry, that desire to punch something you need to distract yourself. Think about something unrelated like what happened here. Perhaps we could get you a hobby that's not related to beating something up. Calligraphy or something perhaps. Or is there something you have been interested in that isn't anything you currently do? He wondered if Keiji was aware of how much he'd calmed down.

Kushin was aware he'd skipped over the kinjutsu idea. Keiji's body wasn't able to handle it yet. He was too young and his kekkei genkai was still developing. To do anything yet would stunt him rather than allow him to become a powerful shinobi.

 

[Keiji]

Listening closely Keiji's face was ever-changing depending on the words coming out of Kushin's mouth.

His eyes widened. You wanna fight me?! Heh.. A slight smile appeared on his lips.
Testing is always good! And getting more precise goals might help me in getting better. He nodded happily in response.

He considered his next words for a few seconds, then nodded in approval.
Going regularly on missions with Kushin sensei? Sounds good to me! His smile grew a little as Kushin continued.

Kushin's next words made Keiji react with a confused glare, hhis head slightly tilted to the side.
As Kushin ended his last sentence Keiji opened his mouth almost instinctively, the second Kushin had closed his own mouth.
"Wait, wait, wait, a hobby?!" His eyes remained in a confused state.
"Y'know, I always thought training and exercising was a hobby to me!" He paused for a few seconds.
"But I know where you're going with it sensei.. But I have a question regarding your suggestion." He coughed in a slightly sarcastic fashion "I've read that Caligraphy studying is more oriented towards sword play and artstyles. And I've never really drawn a lot.. Or played around with swords.."

He held his hand in front of himself and clenched it, not in anger or in frustration as per usual. "Maybe something more.. Fitting for me?" He lowered his hand again, "y'know?"

"With regards to the other things, having a sparring partner could be fun! Hehe" His smile grew slightly. "I've always wanted a proper sparring partner, and you can bet that I'll try and surpass you!" He pointed with his trait mark method of pointing with index and middle finger.

He nodded happily again. "With regards to the last suggestion, having you with me and me with you on missions surely can't be a bad thing! So you can count on me anytime!" He smiled even more.
He was genuinely looking forward to do stuff with his sensei. It was something he had looked forward to ever since their last mission, Kushin was exceptional team member, and Keiji would welcome happily to continue to positive experience.

Keiji didn't take notice at all of the fact that Kushin avoided to mention Kinjutsu, as he himself is completely and utterly reluctant to even consider getting it. Reason wasn't because he didn't want to get stronger, but because he already knew way too little about it, he didn't like to go into the unknown with knowing at least what he is signing up for.. Even if he likes challenges, but signing up for death is something only stupid people does! And Keiji wasn't that stupid.
At least not yet.

 

[Junan]

In the space of the meeting Keiji had gone from depressed to incorrigible. He was now spouting rubbish like how he'd surpass Kushin, well, Kushin would have to demonstrate how far away he had to go. That would be the first lesson learned in the arena.

At any rate Kushin simply nodded Well, go away and think of something that you think would suit you as a hobby that will allow you to take your mind off of things. So it has to be completely unrelated to being a shinobi.

Kushin was happy in a sense. The young boy he'd chosen to be his apprentice was eager to learn, and seemed to enjoy Kushin's company. That was not something many people could lay claim to. Kushin himself needed a hobby, something to distract his mind away from the shinobi life, he'd had past times like surgery and the like, he wasn't massively affected by the pain that could be brought by the shinobi world, far less so apparently than Keiji. Yet his own project was now Keiji himself.

I will see you later I'm sure, for now go and do as you will. He dismissed Keiji to go and find his own hobby. That was his task.

Kushin had work to do.

[topic left]

 

[Keiji]

Keiji bowed quickly with a slight smile.

"I'll see you later Sensei" He said as he leaned back up.

"I'll let you know when I've figured something out, also let me know when our first training session is due!"

He turned and grabbed the doorhandle, pulling it as he waved with his other hand while facing outwards.
"Bye!" He said as he closed the door behind him and left him.

As he walked down the hall the thoughts, This went better than expected.. were unavoidable.
It was almost as if the happenings just the other night was gone in his mind, the future was ahead and it seemed to somehow brighten his mind.
If his mind slipped just for a second his darkened and depressive thoughts would whirl down once again.
It was expected that most, if not all future nights were doomed to be filled with nightmares and dark thoughts, but at least his waking hours were safe in a way.

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