She was not the only medical-nin sent along with the squad, at first. A team was sent in for investigate of a potential incursion near the remote reaches of the De Cevitate Attonbitus. A sleepy hamlet on the edge of the world. Nanami was happy for it, but she was always happier then.
11 years old.
She had made friends in Kumogakure. Kano. Tenko. Ikko. Kana. Ai. Shigekagu even. It had become a home to her in ways she never thought it would. She became aware of the...violence inside of her, knew that it was more than simple impulse. She was capable of things that others weren't. Not because of some gifted bloodline, or some unique hard-earned talent. No. But, still, it was easy enough to put such dreary things behind her.
She graduated, she began medical studies, she took the energy that carried her through the academy and seemed to double it into her studies as a medical shinobi in training. She wanted to prove herself, and perhaps, she had a desire to try to hold on to the happy life she had managed to find. Perhaps that was why it became so difficult in the end. So concerned with the joy she had found she had forgotten who she was.
Kumogakure Shinobi.
It wouldn't be accurate to say she was sent to the front lines of a battlefield, but it wouldn't be a lie. The Squad she was sent to support arrived at the sleepy hamlet to find silence. The mystery didn't last long.
The town had been attacked by beasts, and some of town's number had been changed. Feral monsters, ones Nanami had never encountered before. She was forced away from the fighting by her mentor, a Medical Nin who probably would have been helpful in the fight that followed. The Chuunin, a young woman who was leading her team for the first time was the first casualty. Two of her Genin's were the second but they managed to slay the monsters all while Nanami stood at the edge of town, and waited.
Followed orders.
She rejoined when the flare went out and was responsible for tending to one of the wounded, the youngest of the genin not more than a year older than her. Her mentor busy with the other injured.
Nanami failed to save their life. She hadn't learned enough for such terrible injuries. Her mentor apologized to her for failing to prepare her. She never remembered his name. She still doesn't, but his gaze lingers in her mind.
The squad they were sent with was relieved, but Nanami and her mentor remained with the reinforcements. The incursion was the first report of monstrous creature activity in the region, and all evidence pointed to more. And Nanami remembered what she was. Kumogakure Shinobi.
----
Simply too much blood. She had never seen so much blood, not even in the most terrible training accidents. She gripped the hand of the older boy gently, her face was placid, neutral, calm as she did what she could to keep him from dying while his blood spilled onto her uniform.
Isn't it lovely?
She didn't remember his name. They had only met this trip and she was too shy to ask again when she forgot, and now he was dying and why would she want to know the name of a boy who was about to die?
A pity I couldn't join the fight.
Chakra flowed from her body into his, but even her rudimentary understanding of the ways of battlefield medicine told her this was a lost cause. The Chuunin was in worst shape, but her mentor was tending to her and so she was going to survive. She wondered, had she left the Genin in her care because they thought she could save him? Or...
Come on, I know. I'm young, not stupid.
He was just more expendable.
I am more important.
Do I want to be?
I would have survived.
His expression grew glassy and distant and she stopped working and watched as his last breath rattled free. Felt his grip slip from hers while she insisted on holding it. All she could muster was. "...I forgot your name," to a boy who couldn't hear her.
"Nanami, on your feet, there could be more. We're pulling out." And she must have looked like she didn't hear them, or perhaps it was the second time they had already said it, because a powerful grip hauled her to her feet. A firm strike to her face brought her back to earth, gazing into her mentor's face while they told her to focus. That the boy was dead and she had to focus on surviving.
And because she was Kumogakure Shinobi, she followed orders.
-----
The first year in the field was one of harsh lessons. There was only one path forward for her, learn the lessons or die, and if Nanami was one thing alone it was someone who was determined to survive. Even if it meant watching people around her die, one by one. She had thought her role as a medical shinobi was to preserve life, relieve suffering. But she learned, it was to decide who lived and who died. Her mentor was a good teacher, and that was the first and most important lesson that they taught her. Most important, they explained, is that it must become an automatic decision. Instinctual. Because, they explained, then it doesn't feel like a choice. Choose who lives, they told her.
She couldn't help but feel it worked the other way around.
11 years old.
She had made friends in Kumogakure. Kano. Tenko. Ikko. Kana. Ai. Shigekagu even. It had become a home to her in ways she never thought it would. She became aware of the...violence inside of her, knew that it was more than simple impulse. She was capable of things that others weren't. Not because of some gifted bloodline, or some unique hard-earned talent. No. But, still, it was easy enough to put such dreary things behind her.
She graduated, she began medical studies, she took the energy that carried her through the academy and seemed to double it into her studies as a medical shinobi in training. She wanted to prove herself, and perhaps, she had a desire to try to hold on to the happy life she had managed to find. Perhaps that was why it became so difficult in the end. So concerned with the joy she had found she had forgotten who she was.
Kumogakure Shinobi.
It wouldn't be accurate to say she was sent to the front lines of a battlefield, but it wouldn't be a lie. The Squad she was sent to support arrived at the sleepy hamlet to find silence. The mystery didn't last long.
The town had been attacked by beasts, and some of town's number had been changed. Feral monsters, ones Nanami had never encountered before. She was forced away from the fighting by her mentor, a Medical Nin who probably would have been helpful in the fight that followed. The Chuunin, a young woman who was leading her team for the first time was the first casualty. Two of her Genin's were the second but they managed to slay the monsters all while Nanami stood at the edge of town, and waited.
Followed orders.
She rejoined when the flare went out and was responsible for tending to one of the wounded, the youngest of the genin not more than a year older than her. Her mentor busy with the other injured.
Nanami failed to save their life. She hadn't learned enough for such terrible injuries. Her mentor apologized to her for failing to prepare her. She never remembered his name. She still doesn't, but his gaze lingers in her mind.
The squad they were sent with was relieved, but Nanami and her mentor remained with the reinforcements. The incursion was the first report of monstrous creature activity in the region, and all evidence pointed to more. And Nanami remembered what she was. Kumogakure Shinobi.
----
Simply too much blood. She had never seen so much blood, not even in the most terrible training accidents. She gripped the hand of the older boy gently, her face was placid, neutral, calm as she did what she could to keep him from dying while his blood spilled onto her uniform.
Isn't it lovely?
She didn't remember his name. They had only met this trip and she was too shy to ask again when she forgot, and now he was dying and why would she want to know the name of a boy who was about to die?
A pity I couldn't join the fight.
Chakra flowed from her body into his, but even her rudimentary understanding of the ways of battlefield medicine told her this was a lost cause. The Chuunin was in worst shape, but her mentor was tending to her and so she was going to survive. She wondered, had she left the Genin in her care because they thought she could save him? Or...
Come on, I know. I'm young, not stupid.
He was just more expendable.
I am more important.
Do I want to be?
I would have survived.
His expression grew glassy and distant and she stopped working and watched as his last breath rattled free. Felt his grip slip from hers while she insisted on holding it. All she could muster was. "...I forgot your name," to a boy who couldn't hear her.
"Nanami, on your feet, there could be more. We're pulling out." And she must have looked like she didn't hear them, or perhaps it was the second time they had already said it, because a powerful grip hauled her to her feet. A firm strike to her face brought her back to earth, gazing into her mentor's face while they told her to focus. That the boy was dead and she had to focus on surviving.
And because she was Kumogakure Shinobi, she followed orders.
-----
The first year in the field was one of harsh lessons. There was only one path forward for her, learn the lessons or die, and if Nanami was one thing alone it was someone who was determined to survive. Even if it meant watching people around her die, one by one. She had thought her role as a medical shinobi was to preserve life, relieve suffering. But she learned, it was to decide who lived and who died. Her mentor was a good teacher, and that was the first and most important lesson that they taught her. Most important, they explained, is that it must become an automatic decision. Instinctual. Because, they explained, then it doesn't feel like a choice. Choose who lives, they told her.
She couldn't help but feel it worked the other way around.