Yikes | Ew | DAMN! |
Whoa | LOUD | One |
UGH | Kawaii | DANGER |
Ma | Oof | JEEZ |
Bum:
Youkai Elder
The remaining monster's sat on the lower level, on the floor in a straight line with six demons sitting on the left side of the roof and the other six sitting on the right of the room. Maru looked down at his faithful followers, pride swelling in his heart knowing that he was in charge of leading these monstrosities. Not because it made him powerful but for the simple reason that Maru felt like could do no wrong in their eyes. Even his biggest critic Ma had some respect for him despite being the grumpiest of the bunch. They didn't see destroying towns as a big deal, forcing him to behave, or even judge him on any wrong doings that he does. To them, Maru wasn't evil nor was he good; he simply just is like mother nature even though he was a crime against nature itself. All his youkai were chatting among themselves while Maru looked at his minions before raising a hand to shut them all up which on cue they did then turned to give Maru their attention.
"Thank you all for coming. As you all are aware it's the hour meeting and when the last ray of sunshine fades from the day, we are going to be out there being what we are…. horrible, disgusting, unholy ABOMINATIONS!!!!" Maru shouted which made the group cheer at being called horrible abominations. They already knew that they were disgusting and unholy but to hear that they were abominations filled these demons up with excitement for the dark hours. "Same rules apply as usual, you are all allowed to trick, belittle, lure and scare humans but under no circumstances will you kill them. Kidnapping is okay so long as they are back by sundown, mkay? Now a word from our demonic diplomat/negotiator BUM the Nurarihyon, hope it's good news Mr. Bum." Maru giving the floor to the elder youkai who was sipping a can of soda, the demon held one finger up to ask for a moment to set down his can, burp, then scratch the side of his head that gave him the look of an alien.
The elder looks at Maru and grins. "I thought you'd want that wouldn't you? It's not every day a demon gets to share some good news with each other! Alright now, then let's get down to business shall we?" he said, waiting for it to be quiet enough so he knew that everyone was listening. Though BUM didn’t say anything, everyone remained silent. Maru looked around at his fellow youkai who have been quiet for a while now, waiting for the older youkai to deliver them the good news. Finally the elder continues his speech.
"As you all may know, we've quickly become a sort of superpower to the fellow youkai of these mountains. Actually, Maru you made us out to be some sort of 'ruling' power," the elder adds with a chuckle, a statement that made the others laugh and Maru proud. Despite the complement, Maru couldn’t help but shake the feeling that the elder was trying to butter them up for something. "Anyway, we have managed to carve out quite a niche for ourselves by the most powerful ghoul in these mountains…Ranpirk. Wanting to meet us personally to discuss an alliance with our group!” shouted the Nurarihyon in excitement, which made the younger youkai give a quick cheer before Maru sliced through their cheers in an instant when he heard the name Ranpirk.
"RANPIRK!? What kinda bunk name is Ranpirk!" Maru mocked the name, laughing at a name that seemed completely ridiculous to him. Something that one youkai didn’t seem to take sitting down because even he knew what the hell a Ranpirk was and it wasn’t nothing to mock.
"You pea brain hybrid of fur and muscle! Ranpirk's not a name, you imbecile! It's a rank, like sergeant or lieutenant! Why?! WHY?! WHY DOES EVERYONE KNOW THIS EXCEPT YOU, FOX. OH, WHY?!" Ma exclaimed in annoyance at the ignorance of their leader. Not it wasn’t that he cared for the group who was being led by an idiot but he just really liked calling Maru out when he got the chance. That was his only job of course was to question everything that the fox does.
The elder sighs agreeing with Ma. "Yes, well Ranpirk is a lot more interesting than his real name anyway."
"Rank? Real name? What's he really called?" Oof asks.
“Yeah, if we are going to be in business with the Ranpeer what you call him, we need to have a name. Otherwise, how the hell we are supposed to trust this guy, girl, it, or whatever the thing identifies with.” Kawaii demands the elder to leak what to call this thing. As a succubus she could never see giving up something for nothing, he was either gonna give up a name or they won’t talk to him. The elder knew that, plus the other youkai were getting just as curious as to what was Ranpirk's name.
’Welp time to just rip the bandaid off I suppose’ he thought, preparing his sanity for what was to come next after leaking the name of the Ranpirk. "It’s Unicorn," the Elder replies, making the room dead silent.
Now Maru heard of some ridiculous shit before, but a powerful demon named unicorn? This just has to be a joke. There was just no way…. "What was that BUM?... Couldn’t quite *giggle* here you dude.”
The elder could already feel the beginnings of a headache coming in. Might as well try to tell them the whole truth about Ranpirk before the inevitable laughing starts. "His real name is Uncinful-Sparkledust. Yes he is an actual unicorn, a real flesh and blood pony little girls dream about. Now he may look like a unicorn with a shiny coat but I assure you this one is- ."
And just like that, everyone in the room began to erupt in laughter except for the Nurarihyon who was interrupted. It was just too much to take, they were expecting some unholy abomination but this guy invited a fucking unicorn to meet them to discuss tormenting civilians! Oof took off its mask to wipe way tears from how hard it was laughing, LOUD, was rolling on the floor, EW was holding its greasy stomach laughing, then there was Whoa who's head was ricocheting from wall to wall cackling, YIKES laughed so hard his eye popped out then rolled on the floor. It was utter chaos. Even Ma, who was the grumpy one laughed his ass off in the Nurarihyon ear while pointing at him. Kawaii had her hands around Maru’s throat then shook him while she laughed as she strangled him while Maru’s head shapeshifted into that of a fox while he laughed his ass off encouraging the erotic asphyxiation.
[Hour meeting has started!]
[Yikes NPC Entered]
[Ew NPC Entered]
[DAMN! NPC entered]
[Whoa NPC entered]
[LOUD NPC entered]
[One NPC entered]
[Ugh npc Entered]
[Kawaii ghost NCP manifest]
[Danger ghost NPC manifest]
[Ma npc entered]
[Oof NCP entered]
[Jeez NPC entered]
[Bum NCP entered]
[Maru appears with funky music]
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