Weeeeellllllll, your boy really did it now! Apparently, I'M the one who is the 'awful' person. Wait wait, let me poke my lip out real quick.
*pokes out lip with a sad face* So the dude comes charging at me at an angry brute talking that good talk right?! So we gets outside and he starts in but calling me an imbecile. DANG! I haven't heard that word in a long time, that's some old-timer sh#* right there. Yeah I throw my hands up like I'm just shocked and appalled with said look on my face right.
*sarcastically shocked with quick inhale* "Who?! Me?!" Then he processed to tally up the charges on me. Injecting myself in sh*%... because I 'interrupted' HIS conversation. I put up my finger to interject a point,
"But,... ohmybadgoahead" but put he was on a roll so I put it down quick you know a go through the nodding with mock submission. So I'm a bully too huh?! For clarity to all you guys out there,... He ruins my approach game entirely,... I "use my words" as some professional tell people,... I walk away,... and he's chasing ME down beating his knuckles,... but that's MY bad,... 'cause I'M the bully,... YEP! That checks out to me.
But it REALLY seems that I went "way too to far" with roasting Princess Porcupine and mentioning this Aria person,... whoooo I neither know nor care about. AND and andand is not even !here!, so really in my defense, any mention of him or her really shouldn't even be that big of a deal anyway 'cause it's not like I'm hurt her feeling right? Still, I put up that thinking man's pose to let him lecture me, and at least pretend that any of these matters, even if I'm not hiding the fact that I'm pretending to do so. But I couldn't help myself when he starts up on the mealworm.
*murmured in low tone to self*"I've got a worm she can meal on." YOO I swear it was reflex bro. Like, the innuendos man, just no filter man. Ya'll got me that one man, I can't say nothing to that. My bad. He goes on to say something ACTUALLY important, but I'll hit on that a bit later.
So as he continues on, I start to agree with some of his assessments of me while still in my thinking-man's pose. When rhetoricallyyyyy, mayyyyyybe that is a word, asked about me viewing shinobi as tools, I shrug and give a quick,
"Um hm." When asked if I was in insane,
*murmured*"Well I mean..." but he would likely keep it going, leading up to a demand for and apology. He mentions Princess Porcupine and Aria. As he goes on with this threat, two things catch my attention. First would be a little boy with a comic boy in hands. He seems worried but, being the Fan Favorite and Model Citizen that I am, I flash him a smile and a thumbs up to reassure him that the real life superhero had everything under control. Buuut the second thing was,... well this superhero's weakness gets the better of me for a moment 'cause some random chick comes up doing something like a strip-tease or somethin', making me tilt my head like
"UMM,.." *murmured to self* "... yeah go ahead and drop it low for your boy one time." But then... she grew dark and sprouts horns from her head. MAAAAANNNNNN, fu@#,... really man?! Always something! Always a catch! I don't know guys, maybe I'm going to have to expand my palate a bit or something because something has GOT to give here. I mean,... *sigh* I guess I already hook up with Akimichis and Inuzukas sometimes so pig-girls and dog-girls are already on the menu. Times are changing I suppose.
So Princess Porcupine goes to say something as Kraggy-Finger Crabs finishes up. And, nothing to really say about the safety of the peoples I mean she right I guess but I was only half listen because the horny lady in front of me said something to note too. I tells Princess Porcupine,
"I'd love to take you up on that date at the park, but just one second." Then back to address the three that just, seem to have it out of me today. *speaks with hand motions*"Okay okay, guys I sorry. So there seems likeeeee there is a wee bit of a misunderstanding here. So. To the Princess,... I didn't call you a porcupine,... I called you PRINCESS Porcupine whichwhichwhich makes you no ordinary porcupine but indeed ROYALTY *rolls the R and performs a dramatic curtsy* I mean I wouldn't dare compare you to the common ref raf. Why THE Princess Porcupina, she may BONE, whom, she wishes. Why, if I wanted to insult you...." I go to present the new comer with the horns,...
"Like this lovely horny lady right here,...with an all natural pedicure untainted by human hands. Now if I DARED to insult her, and I would do no such thing, I might call her a simple,... 'cow', or even 'that bovine bi#&%', but NO! I present to you all 'Queen Heifaa'(heifer). And to thine Queen I submit unto thee a donation for thy footgear." *performs a dramatic bow* And with that I lay 5 yen at her feet and tell her,
"Go wild with it sweetheart." then step back to move in front of King Crab.
Then I goes to ring leader, the joy of mocking seeping fast from me I like was leaking or something na mean. Just drained I mean, acting takes work, you know. So the rest was mostly causal,
"Fearless Leader,... The one that lacketh lotion for his dry a$$ hands,... King Crab,... Ruler of the Barnyard Brigade it seems. I admit it,... I,... am,... quite fly, for a white guy. I don't do well with swimmin' though. But you don't see me running either,... Know why that is? Hmm? Maybe because I'm man enough to admit how wrong I am, and I got one more apology,... for Airea,... Aire,... whatever. SO let me call her up right now." So I pulls out a Headset and play with the dial without turning it on. Bro I was on autopilot right now soooo, all I remember doing was staring a hole in him.
"Now what channel should I turn it to, Leaf Lost and Found,... the ER,... the orphanage,... the mortuary,... one of those staticy channels with the white noise? F^%k it, lets hell-mary it. and see what happens." *Make a clicking noise with his tongue and paces like he is on the phone*
"Aria come in? Aria? UH yeah, heeeyyy surprise surprise! How are ya?... Yeah it's your boy here, standing in front of a Kyou-Neo-Geo-dude. YEAH Yeah, that's the one. Well,... he wanted me to apologize to you 'cause I said somethings out of pocket you know... Uh huh.... Why?... 'Cause well you know,... it's my day off,... One of the few days I get to get bi#^%es you know,... spit game, have the ladies caress my face with a lightning quickness, get to wear their perfume which oddly enough tends to smell more like whatever drink their holding, let them talk dirty to me with synonyms common to 'dirtbag',... and who knows,... maybe I actually get lucky that night with a new chick you know,... Buuuuut Mr. Crabs here,... he's... -FU&%ING IT ALL UP!-(Squealed at a extremely high pitch while throwing a flailing tantrum amid a short hop) *back to normal* My bad. Even so,... I vent,... I leave,... but here we are about to throw down in the streets. But you know how it is right? Whatever status you get, along with a bloodline factor thing, things get to your head and puff it the f@*k up. And before you know it, you find self making bad choices that just might be leading your new crew to... well you Aria.... Ohhh I'm sorry my bad, too soon I know... Uh huh,.. Oh, you gotta go... Oh really? That's too bad but it was a pleasure talking though hon... Okay,... I'll tell him what you said. Uh huh,... Okay, bye bye sweetie."
When the "convo" with "Aria" ended, I toss the headset over my shoulder. Where it lands,...*shrugs*
"Huh, whatdoyaknow, a nice girl after all. She's got a message for you,... you have two decisions you could make. You can make a wise choice. You can write me off as the low-life, lunatic, jackass you swear I am. You can set sail off into the sunset with the knowledge and pride that you spared an insignificant insect as well as the innocents around us all the drama like the princess said. Perhaps you wanna curse my name and the 'existence' I shouldn't have, have at it. Or you ain't even gotta say sh#$. Maybe sit in yo feelin' for what, a day, maybe three at the most but have an interesting story to tell,... with,... your team,... intact. Or,... you can make the supposed "honorable" decision as instructed by your pride and privilege handed to you by your blood and authority figures, and try your hands at introducing my face to the dirt. Throw yourself and your crew against a virtually unknown situation, against a guy who ain't moving despite standing in "Jump City." Sure, I just might be easy pickin' and you might could curb-stomp face until they can't even scrap me from the sidewalk. But if your wrong,... if I'm not as easy as you'd hoped homie,............... I will drag out a stand and gut you right on top of a vender stall. And anyone going for a sword, spear, ninja-star, senbon,... heck anyone scratching there hands wrong, or who decides they wants to throw up hand-signs from the sidelines tryna rep the set,... under your command,... I'll dismantle them slowly,... make you watch,... fire up a grill,... and start serving something like what, a three combo skewer special. 'Cause hey, even a mealworms gotta eat too, ya dig?
-This little mealworm peeps an oversized carcass...
he looks to the horizon, so thankful for the harvest-."
So what's it gonna be homie,....... do I get to say grace?"
[Marked for Training]
[OOC: Again monologs may be interrupted as needed.]
