The scientific certainty of global warming [Kitsune]

[Takaki Saeko]

Outskirts of Liancourt-Tsushima, Shinrya Duchy
…and contested territory on the border of Lightning and Bear
Current day

Airisuke, Chief Maid of La Maison Kitsune and tenth-level practitioner of the ancient art of meido-dou knew that trouble was approaching before the messenger had even begun to pound on the Duchess’s door with his palms. With a flick of her wrist, she unchanneled the prana that bound the soles of her feet to the mansion’s ceiling and fell headfirst to the carpeted floor twenty meters below her. At the last minute, before her brains would’ve been turned to paste, she elegantly flipped in midair and landed on all fours like a cat. She righted herself, adjusted the jeweled feline-ear headband that Kitsune had given her as a gift, and neatly folded her feather-duster away. The grand chandelier would have to wait for its cleaning for now, because something bad was afoot.

She darted over and opened the door before the messenger could mar it with his hand-grease, and he bowled in most ungraciously. Airisuke caught him by the back of his suspenders before he could sully the marble floor by breaking his nose on it, and yanked the hapless man to his feet. “There’s no need for such a spectacle, good sir. If you have a petition for the duchess, I will gladly receive it.”

The messenger regarded her, wide-eyed. “Milady Airisuke! There’s an emergency at the memberberry farm! The watermill got damaged by a huge block of floating ice, and when we dragged it to shore, there was… There was a man in it! He looks to have been killed most horribly, for he’s not breathing nor saying a word!”

Airisuke frowned. “Of course he’s not saying anything, if he’s been frozen solid. Are you sure this needs the duchess’s attention? Murder cases should go to the magistrate, in any case.”

“But, Milady! The man…the man’s not like normal men! He looks like one of them Bear Supernovas! A few people remembered his face!”

She grabbed him by his collar. “What did you say? A Supernova?”

The messenger nodded.

“Hold here,” Airisuke said. “I’ll get the duchess right away. You will lead us to the spot.”

With that, she dashed like a gazelle up the winding staircase that led to Kitsune’s chambers and stopped just short of colliding with the door. With a tug of her hand, she telekinetically called over a tray complete with tea-service and crumpets, before knocking on the door. No matter the emergency, meido-dou mandated that one always have tea and snacks ready for the master or mistress, and that no matter what, a maid never barged in on said master or mistress. Especially in the case of Shinrya Kitsune, who had spent more and more time over the last few months brooding in her chambers snacking on memberberries and pining for the glory days when Kahako was sennin and everything wasn't shit.

In truth, for Airisuke, part of her was glad to have something new and potentially significant to distract her mistress with. Cloud politics were always asinine and cantankerous, and it did no one any good to get involved with them. Kitsune needed something else to do. And she definitely needed, more than anything else, to get laid again.

“Duchess, may I interrupt you for a moment? It seems there’s a matter that requires your personal attention. The locals claim to have found one of the Bear Supernovae. Dead and frozen, per their report. What would you have me do?”

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

Kitsune sighed. She was lounging around in a luxurious arm chair, while wearing nothing but a silken nightgown. She had been reading and re-reading the Firearms of the Pagoda trilogy by Hikaru Aniki, her favorite author. But sadly, that could only keep her thoughts away from the plight facing her daily life back in Kumogakure for so long. Her daughter had gone crazy-ish. A man she couldn’t stand had become her boss. She herself had been ignored by the council when they picked a new sennin, despite clear rules being in place for succession, and with Kitsune being second in command, it was supposed to be hers. But nooooo. ”Screw it all.” she grumbled ”I’ll just have to show them just how much I can influence that little town with all my economic power.”

However, right as she decided to get off her arse and do something about the corrupt leadership of Kumo, Airisuke knocked on the door and brought a new matter to the duchess’ attention. ”One of the super novae?” Kitsune asked and raised an eyebrow ”Why don’t we go take a look, Airi? It’s been a while since something exciting has happened. And besides, it’s not every day I get to see a Bear shinobi frozen and dead.” she added and grinned rather morbidly.

She slipped out of the chair and got dressed in a practically business-like suit, something rather unlike her, and got a small belt with several scrolls sitting along its length and equipped that as well. You’d never know it, but those scrolls contained anything and everything Kitsune thought she’d need, from equipment to handle bodies, to whips and candles. You never knew what the trip would bring… It’d hopefully pay off to be prepared. She had once been unprepared, and that had almost cost her dearly. She’d rather not be in a situation like that again.

[MFT; WC: 313]

 

[Takaki Saeko]

Yes, yes! Airisuke thought to herself as she helped her mistress change into something besides nightclothes for the first time in ages. Motivating Kitsune to take interest in life again (some philosophers called this "posting in a thread to avoid the inactivity sweep") was a rare occurrence. If it took a dead Bear Village Supernova to do it, by Raiden, Airisuke would kill them all for the benefit of her mistress. After the Duchess had readied herself, the women descended to meet the cowering man who'd delivered the message.

"Take us to the frozen shinobi, good sir," Airisuke said.

The messenger bowed, scraped, and then led them from the manse. The memberberry farm where the mill had broken was only a few kilometers away, and so the trio took a leisurely path that allowed the subjects to ogle and stare, and know that their lady was still alive and well. Of course, nothing so cliche as a small child running up to the Duchess with a bouquet of flowers happened, because this wasn't that sort of thread. Eventually, as Airisuke rounded a corner, she saw the large gathering that had formed around the mill.

"Make way for the Duchess!" she announced, her voice carrying over the general commotion. Slowly, the crowd parted, tipping their hats and curtseying as Kitsune strode forward.

Next to the edge of the river stood a large, half-melted chunk of ice that at its full size would have been enough to fully encapsulate a horse from head to toe. A team of workmen had lashed it with ropes and pulled it from underneath the broken waterwheel, which spun unevenly on a bent axle. Already, the damages were in excess of the mill's annual budget, Airisuke noted to herself. As she drew closer, she saw that the messenger hadn't been lying: there was a body embedded in the ice, which grew pinker the closer it came to the corpse. But what shocked her was that for some reason, the villagers had already begun to melt the thing, and as a result, the dead man's front half was already exposed to the outside.

"Stop, stop!" Airisuke said, waving a gaggle of hairdryer-wielding workers away. "I know you want to loot him, but that's not how the system works anymore on this site! You're about nine years too late to do that! And what if he, like, explodes into chunks or something?" She approached the body and bent over to peer at its face. She raised her eyebrows and swore. "Duchess, I know who this man is! It's the Icebringer, remember? The one who nearly froze the entire house solid. Ew, looks like he's really dead. If I might make a suggestion, I would say we bury the body right now and feign ignorance. Otherwise the Bears might suspect us of foul play, and Regent Mishil is not known for her fairness..."

At that moment, the corpse let out a hacking cough, opened its eyes, and looked around. "Who dares invoke the name Mishil?" Chung-Hee sputtered. "That pretender! I'll never accept anyone who's acted so horribly against Lady Ai! Hashtag Not My Queen!" As he locked his gaze on Kitsune, however, the wildness was quickly replaced by a look of realization. "Jesus. Fucking. Saito. Why'd I have to wake up to you? Nevermind! I'll go back to dead! I'll never accept a handout from Shinrya Kitsune!"

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

When Airisuke identified the frozen shinobi as being one of the supernovae, specifically the arrogant bastard that styled himself as The Icebringer, Kitsune scowled. She ‘membered perfectly well. And she while she was pleased the guy had kicked the bucket, she wasn’t pleased that his corpse had ended up on HER lands. ”Ugh. If he’s really dead, we’d better dispose of the evidence.” Kitsune said in a low tone, so only Airisuke would hear her. But right at that point, the maid made mention of Mishil, the supposed sister of the Queen, and apparently, the regent now, and the corpse began sputtering and yelling.

”That can easily be arranged, Icebringer-kun.” Kitsune said in a steely voice as she drew her ceremonial sword and pointed it at him. ”But first. I’d like some questions answered. And you seem like the perfect candidate to answer them.” she continued before sheathing the sword again, figuring that putting ‘murder of half-dead, practically helpless, foreigner’ on her CV wasn’t exactly a good move.

”First off. What were you doing being frozen solid? What happened to you in the first place? What the ever-loving hell has that old hag Mishil done to Ai-chan? And lastly, what the actual fuck is going on in Bear right now? You guys seem like you’re practically on the verge of a civil war by now. And not the cool movie kind with plot twists and super heroes, but the ugly kind with loads of dead people and southern pride.”

 

[Takaki Saeko]

As Kitsune drew her sword, the surrounding villagers let loose with cries of approval and approbation (as opposed to sympathy or dismay). "Cut 'is donger off, M'lady Duchess!" one of the women shouted. "That reprobate, he promised 'is love to me, but I caught 'im fuckin' me sis behind me back!"

"That's preposterous!" Chung-Hee flailed with his free arm. "She was your twin! How the hell was I supposed to tell you apart?"

"String him up!" shouted more voices. "Rip him to pieces! Make his innards into his outards!"

Yet it seemed that Kitsune wasn't in the mood for murder, as she sheathed her sword and motioned for quiet. Airisuke, tenth-level meido-dou practitioner that she was, was stone-faced. It would not do to show any sort of disapproval at her mistress's actions, even if she also wished the Icebringer dead (he had, after all, caused significant structural damage to the house as a result of fighting inside like a degenerate, and that wasn't the worst of it).

Chung-Hee let out a resigned sigh, as if he couldn't decide whether to be relieved at Kitsune's mercy or terrified by the glowing wrath of her maid. "You know, it's awfully hard to answer your questions when I'm still half-dead and mostly frozen in a block of ice. You should warm me up a bit. Show some hospitality."

"I thought you enjoyed being like this," Airisuke said. "Encased in dirty, frozen sludge like that which surrounds your heart."

"For the love of--" Chung-Hee clenched his jaw. "Risu, can we not do this right now?"

"Don't call me that!" Airisuke snapped. "Milady, I'll silence him right now if you wish it!"

"Wait!" Chung-Hee let out another sigh. "Okay, okay, Shinrya. I'll tell you what I can for now! Shit, I thought you were more well-versed in international politics than this... Anyway, your chancellor's probably told you some rubbish about how Regent Mishil is ruling in Queen Ekaterina's stead because of Her Majesty's pregnancy or something. That's all hogwash and bullshit! The regent's stolen the throne and either brainwashed or bribed our noblemen into accepting her. Anyone who dared to question the regent's legitimacy was disgraced and imprisoned. Including Lady Ai! The Hoshikage herself rots in a dungeon and there's nothing any of us can do about it! I had to do something about it, and as a result ended up like this. You need to...to..." Chung-Hee's eyelids began to flutter and his voice to falter. "...help...her..."

"Shit," Airisuke said. "He's passed out. I take it back, Milady. I think we need to save him, at least for now. Otherwise, we have no idea where we might find the Lady Ai. And I'm also worried. If the regent finds out the Icebringer's here, then we might have trouble on our doorstep before we know it!"

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

Kitsune raised an eyebrow and turned her head to look at Airisuke ”Risu? You’re going to have to tell me the story behind that when we get home.” she said and turned her focus back onto the half-frozen wasteoid referred to as The Icebringer. ”I tend to focus on the intranational politics, rather than the international ones. I did however hear about the arrangement with Mishil and the queen.” she said in response to what he said, only to have Chung-Hee mention Ai rotting in a dungeon. Kitsunes muscles tightened and her chakra flared up. To say that Kitsune wasn’t happy was an understatement of massive proportions.

”Stand back, Airi-chan.” Kitsune said before cracking her neck and forming a plasma blade at her right hand ”You could get scalded from the steam this’ll generate.” she continued as she swung the blade at the ice block to slice it to smaller bits until it’d eventually crumble and allow Chung-Hee to be dragged out and to the mansion. ”We need to get some heat into his body.” she said to Airisuke before turning to the villagers ”Go about your daily business if you’d please.” were her words to them, hopefully they’d maintain their wits and not talk about this to others.

Once back at the mansion, Kitsune would have Chung-Hee placed in a chair by a fireplace, wrapped in a blanket… Or, actually, a towel would work better… and she’d raise the ambient temperature around his body core with a low-powered fire jutsu, knowing that it was important to heat up the core first. ”If I’m to help Ai-chan, I’m going to need to know where she is, Icebringer-kun. So spill the beans already. No one puts my Ai-chan in a dungeon but me.”

 

[Takaki Saeko]

"Ah, Milady..." Airisuke said with a noticeably forced chuckle. "There's really no story to speak of! Just a stupid little mistake on my part, which doesn't bear repeating... I'll just, uh, stand aside while you free him. Though I'll understand completely if you sever his neck by mistake..."

With that, she gracefully drew back and shooed the curious villagers away from the area of immediate danger. Kitsune's swordsmanship, much to the maid's disappointment, was still impeccable and within minutes, the icy prison around Chung-Hee was no more. Airisuke repressed a sigh as she slung one of the stricken supernova's arms over her shoulders and helped her mistress heave the man back to the manor. She thought about requesting that the citizens provide them a cart, but decided against it. There was still a chance, however slim, that perhaps the events of the day wouldn't leak all the way back to the regent's ears. A slim chance, indeed.

Once back at the manor, Airisuke took to feeding and stoking the fire in the main hall. Once that was completed, she stated the arduous task of bringing and changing the comical quantity of towels and blankets that the sweating, shivering Bear supernova demanded. "You're just doing this to spite me," she grumbled at him as he motioned at her for another mug of steaming chicken broth. "And how could you mistake those twins for each other? One's a rickety waif and the other's nearly three stone!"

Kitsune quickly cut into their banter, however. Chung-Hee glared at her, sullenly.

"These are desperate times for Bear. Desperate enough that I've been reduced to giving you, my mortal archnemesis, important state secrets that under normal circumstances I'd slaughter your entire province to keep under wraps. But if you're truly willing to help Lady Ai, then I have no choice. No choice at all but to trust in a demon like you, who cheats time and death in the name of vanity--"

"Stop yammering and get to the point, you cheating cur," Airisuke snapped, tugging forcefully at one of Chung-Hee's ears.

"Ow! Right... Tell me, Shinrya, have you ever heard of Aru Goro, the Grand Inventor of Bear? Of course you must have heard the official propaganda about him: the half-Tenouzan genius who directs our ministry of research and fights for a better life for the peasants through technology. And for the most part, what you hear is true. Man's a living saint who got us to cut our greenhouse gas emissions by a third. But there are rumors that he's also got a hidden, evil side. A side that enjoys murder and torture and vile human experimentation, particularly on powerful specimens. Specimens like Lady Ai..."

Chung-Hee clenched his jaw yet again.

"Thus, the hoshikage's not in the palace dungeons, like you'd expect. She's actually being held in Aru Goro's private estate on Furoridajima, an island many miles from the coast, and filled with horrific creatures guarding its secrets. We've sent many spies that way, but none have ever come back alive. These were trained, battle-hardened shinobi, mind you. But if you're still willing to risk everything, though, then...then I beg you to help Lady Ai!"

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

The Duchess folded her arms and shot a glare at Chung-Hee as he called her a demon, and accused her of being vain. ”I haven’t cheated time, nor death in the name of vanity. I did it in the name of progress. There’s just far too many things to be invented and experimented with for me to go and die. And who better to push the limits of what’s possible than the woman that singlehandedly has pushed Kumogakure a decade further into the future?” she said, clearly showing her, justifiably, large ego. ”And unlike other inventors, I keep my most dangerous creations locked away where no one else can get to them.”

She listened patiently to what he had to say about Aru Goro. Kitsune raised first one eyebrow, then a second. ”I knew something was off about that man. I mean, come on, a technologically inclined Tenouzan? Those pious bastards wouldn’t know the difference between a conductor and an isolator. But the sadistic streak you say he’s got, would be right on the money.” she said and pondered a bit. ”This is why organized religion should be banned. It gives rise to sadistic twats and psychopaths. And tax evasion. I can’t stand that crap.”

As Chung-Hee explained where Ai actually was, Kitsune already began to make a mental list of things to bring. ”I’ve already died twice. If Ai-chan needs me… Then I’d gladly do it again!” she said and steeled her resolve. ”I’m going to need all the information you have on the place, Icebringer-kun. The one that is prepared wins the battle. And if I’m to bring Ai-chan back, I’ll need all the advantages I can get. I’m fairly sure I can’t just teleport and use infernal fire to burn my way through everything with ease. The good inventor would’ve found a way to give fire resistance to his playthings.”

[MFT; WC: 313]

 

[Takaki Saeko]

The disdainful scowl that seemed permanently plastered on Chung-Hee's face eased up, if ever so slightly, to hear Kitsune's reply. He slowly rose from the chair and gave Kitsune a tiny, if sincere-looking, bow. "For my country, and for my commander, I thank you for your help. You're quite right, Shinrya--you can't just teleport in and blast the place down. If that were possible, we'd have done so already. Furoridajima is quite possibly the worst place on the planet, at least for us shinobi. The island is an old mining site, and saturated with Dimeritium salts in the ground, water, and even air. Just being there saps a shinobi's power constantly, and if you tried a teleport jutsu, you'd end up in pieces. Even for someone like you, Shinrya, the most basic of jutsu would place your body and mind under incredible strain. Here, you may have unlimited prana, but there, you need to think like you've got a mana bar that doesn't regenerate." He looked away, as if ashamed. "Normally, I would have been able to last for a good while in that place, but... with all the wounds I have, I'd just drop like a fly the second I set foot ashore. I'll be able to get you there discreetly, but aside from that, I'll have to sit out."

"How typical," Airisuke said. "You talk a big game, but when it comes time to perform, you come up short."

"Hey, not like you'd do much better," Chung-Hee snapped.

"I will," Airisuke said, hands on her hips. "Meido-dou doesn't need prana to work. All I need is warm thoughts for my mistress, and I can do all kinds of jutsus and crap."

"That's crazy-talk," Chung-Hee said. "But if you're so hell-bent on dying, then follow her in."

"That's up to the Duchess," Airisuke said. She fluttered her eyelashes at Kitsune. "Would my lady prefer if I brought along the grenade launcher or the belt-fed machinegun?"

"Ugh, no reasoning with you." Chung-Hee sighed loudly. "Regardless, we need to get a move on, Shinrya. No doubt, word of my discovery has reached Mishil's ears by now. She won't risk a diplomatic incident by sending troops to your manor, but anywhere along the way, we're all fair game to her. In fact, I'll bet that if you're somehow discovered or killed, she'll have your Raikage declare you a traitor and a missing-nin. And if Aru Goro gets his hands on you, well, let's just say that death by firing squad is a lot more pleasant than whatever he's planning."

* * *​

Port of Incheon, coast of Bear County. 11 nautical miles from Furoridajima.
...a few days later

True to Chung-Hee's words, during the entire journey, Airisuke could not shake the feeling that the group was being watched. Even though they'd deliberately taken some obscure backroads and avoided places with large numbers, there were always eyes and ears off in the distance. Several times, she'd wanted to grab the more suspicious-looking types and interrogate them, but both Chung-Hee and Kitsune had warned her away from doing so. Causing a scene wouldn't help Ai, at least not at this stage of their quest.

They'd packed light, in order to avoid drawing overmuch attention of being burdened by too much baggage. With a heavy heart, Airisuke had left the heaviest of artillery behind in the basement, though she'd made sure to pack whatever Kitsune had requested that also fit in their handbags. So far, none of it had seen much use, since no one had tried to directly confront them. But Airisuke knew that her mistress expected a fight, and expected one soon. Their last stop on land was at the grand station of Incheon, on the coast. A bustling arcade with high ceilings of arched steel beams and tempered glass, its workings were almost all automated and powered by powerful, coal-fired generators that belched black fumes into the sky overhead.

"I have the tickets," Airisuke said, after she walked up to the cafe table where Kitsune and Chung-Hee sat. Fortunately, disguising themselves had been relatively easy here; with all the pollution present, everyone was forced to wear masks to protect their lungs from floating particles. "It was so weird, too! I had to buy them from like, this mechanical man behind the counter. He--it--whatever, moved and spoke like a human being, but all clanky and robotic and stuff. I guess it was better than having a human there, though. Someone might've seen through my disguise."

Chung-Hee shook his head. "Those automata are Aru Goro's inventions, too. The ones here at the station look all jolly and obsequious, but they're also formidable soldiers, if need be. Imagine a whole line of them marching on you and firing rifles. You can't genjutsu them because they don't have brains. You can hit them with fire or steam or even ice, and they just shrug it off. And even if you take down a few, their companions don't give a shit and just keep marching and killing. If these abominations get to mass production, we shinobi are screwed." He looked over the tickets. "Anyway, good. Furoridajima is the last on a chain of small islands, all connected by this--what did Aru Goro call it--ah, the monorail. He wants to install a network of these electric trains connecting all cities in the country and reducing our reliance on personal vehicles or horses. I don't trust the technology, but at least the rail lines are pretty safe. When's our departure?"

"Oh, about twenty minutes," Airisuke said.

"We should board soon, then. I don't like the look of those guys at the ticket kiosk," Chung-Hee said. He motioned with his head at four hard-eyed men in business suits who waited in line. They seemed to deliberately avoid looking in the direction of the table where Kitsune sat.

Airisuke's eyes narrowed. Though it was subtle, each man had the telltale bulges of concealed guns and shortswords under their outfits. "Bear Intelligence Agency," she muttered. "Big guys."

"For you," Chung-Hee said with a shrug. "Let's get a move on."

Soon after paying for their meal, the party settled into their seats. Though Kitsune might have preferred first class, Airisuke had purchased economy class to blend in better. Given that the train was new, though, even the economy class boasted private seating cabins. It was with no small measure of relief that Airisuke finally shut the door to their cabin, although she noted with some consternation that there wasn't a real lock on it. As she did so, the train lurched forward on the tracks. Unlike the usual steam locomotives she was used to, the electric monorail was mainly silent, even as it ramped up to tremendous speed.

Kitsune had wanted to put her feet up, so Airisuke sat next to Chung-Hee. Outside, the seascape moved slowly along as they hurtled toward their destination. After many minutes of silence, she finally spoke, to relieve her boredom.

"You've mellowed out a bit since we started this," she said. "Maybe being around Mistress Kitsune is having a good effect on you."

"Hardly," Chung-Hee said, clearly not caring what Kitsune heard. "I have no idea why you continue to serve her. She's been helpful enough, but she's also an abomination. You heard her words yourself. What kind of dangerous, twisted creations does she have in her basement, anyway?"

"Does it even matter? You just don't like smart, successful women. I know your type."

"That's untrue, and you know it, Risu."

"I told you not to call me that!"

"Right. You wanted to be called 'imouto' when we--"

"Jesus! Shut up!"

"Wait!" Chung-Hee snapped and motioned for silence. "Hear that?"

Airisuke's ears pricked up and she reached between her legs to withdraw her pistol from its thigh holster. "Yeah. Those BIA men. They're coming through. They'll be at our door in a few minutes. Mistress Kitsune, what do we do?"

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

Kitsune folded her arms. ”It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been restricted by not being able to use chakra.” she said indignantly, ”Back then, I found a way around it by liquefying it and consuming it. To use your analogy, it’d be like a mana potion. Sadly, it’s highly expensive to make, and requires a ton of refined chakra. But if, as you say, the very air saps chakra out of us, I’d have to put it in a container that’s shielded. Or maybe just a classic glass bottle.” she shrugged lightly and prepared things for their departure. ”Bring both Airi-chan. Always be prepared for the worst.”

When they had arrived at the port and Airisuke had gotten them masks ”Hm. It isn’t the first time I’ve seen automatons like those. Heck, I’ve got my very own walking around back in Kumogakure. She’s different from these primitive clankers though. She has the power of reasoning.” Kitsune said and shook her head to stop herself from getting riled up and all excited about her tech. ”So, what else can you tell me about Goro?” she asked Chung-Hee and looked at him. It was important to know as much as possible about their soon-to-be foe.

BIA? Here? Interesting… Kitsune thought to herself as she looked out the window while Airisuke teased Chung-Hee some more. ”We’re both abominations to most people, Icebringer-kun.” Kitsune said and turned her head to look at the guy ”And don’t talk about me as if I’m not here.” she snapped right before he said something about Airisuke wanting to be called imouto. Kitsune looked at Airisuke and sent her a “We’ll talk about that later” look.

”Cool it for now. Be prepared for combat though.” she said and folded her arms. ”You never know what intelligence officers will do. Heck, maybe they’re just here to ask questions. At the very least, if they try anything funny, pacify them. Do not kill them. Understood Airi-chan?” Kitsune said, sternly ordering Airisuke to only use non-lethal methods of combat. It was bad enough that they were about to undergo a clandestine mission on foreign soil, they didn’t also need the lives of a few bureau people on their hands.

[MFT; WC: 369]

 

[Takaki Saeko]

“Dammit, Shinrya,” Chung-Hee said, “I’m the most wanted man in Bear Country right now. These guys aren’t here to ask questions. We should hit them full-force when the door opens. Sarin-tipped rounds to the face should do the trick.”

“No,” Airisuke said, shushing him. “You heard Milady! We’re going to play it cool and avoid bloodshed. If you can’t handle that, then the duchess and I walk away right now.”

“The nerve of you people!” Chung-Hee scowled, but then put his pistol back in its holster. He waved his fingers and his face blurred and shifted. His features shifted from those of a refined warrior to the coarse and ruddy bulges of a day laborer. Then, he curled up into the corner to feign sleep. “If shit hits the fan, though, you’ll be sorry,” he muttered.

Suddenly, the cabin door slid open. Two imposing men in suits and sunglasses peered in without invitation. In their hands they carried brass badges of office as well as bulky, handheld lamps that glowed disconcertingly purple. Equipped with Dimeritium filaments and crystal amplifier chambers, the lamps effectively nullified the effects of prana and jutsu around whoever carried them. Fortunately, they were so hideously expensive that their use was still rare.

“Well, I never—what’s the meaning of barging in on us without knocking?” Airisuke said with practiced haughtiness.

“Monorail Police, madam,” one of the men said. “We’re looking for a dangerous terrorist who might have snuck on board. He’s a shinobi, and armed and dangerous. Have you seen this man?” He held out a photo of Chung-Hee.

“No, sir, I haven’t,” Airisuke said, and reached to close the cabin door. “Good luck on your search.”

“Not so fast,” the man said, holding the door open. “Identify yourselves.”

“Here’s my documentation,” Airisuke said, and proffered her Bear Country passport. “My Mistress is the Duchess Shinrya Kitsune, of Liancourt-Tsushima and Ramei no Seika. We are traveling under the right of free passage afforded by the Hayata Treaty. Now, if that’s all, I’m sure you have a lot more searching ahead of you, so I bid you gentlemen farewell—”

“Who’s that?” The agent pointed at Chung-Hee. “I need to see his face.”

“That’s Yakomaru, our dogsbody,” Airisuke said. “He’s got a strong back, but he’s very retarded. Please let him sleep in peace, else he might vomit or drool on you.”

“I don’t care,” the agent said. He stepped in, took Chung-Hee by the shoulder, and wrenched him around. As the glow of the Dimeritium lamp hit the shinobi’s features, the jutsu fell away. The agent’s eyes widened under his sunglasses and his hand shot to his earpiece radio.

“Suspect sighted!” the agent barely got the words out before Chung-Hee’s fist crashed into the man’s belly and knocked the wind from him.
The second agent, outside, drew his pistol and fired into the cabin. The wood above Chung-Hee’s head splintered from the bullet, which went wide only because Airisuke had managed to whack the pistol off-aim at the last minute. With a swift kick to the agent’s head from the maid, the man crumpled to the floor.

“Get the body inside!” Chung-Hee growled.

Airisuke swore, grasped at the unconscious agent’s collar, and dragged him inside just before the railcar’s other passengers started to open their doors and look into the hallway in confusion. She stepped out and bowed apologetically. “Sorry, sorry! Someone just hanged their head on one of the overhead racks. He’ll be fine, really!”

“Attention, attention please,” the overhead intercom blared. “All passengers are to remain seated in their cabins for a security sweep. This train will now come to a complete stop, for your safety.”

“Shit! Should’ve just killed them!” Chung-Hee said. He took his pistol and smashed the emitters on the lamps, cutting the purple glow off. “They’ll be here soon, and we won’t be as lucky.” He looked out the window. “Furoridajima’s within swimming distance, now. Your best bet is to jump the train.”

“How about you?” Airisuke said.

“Already told you I can’t set foot there. I’ll stay here, give these assholes the runaround, and try to make my escape. If I can.” He aimed his pistol and fired at the window several times, causing it to warp and fall out. “Now go! And make sure you rescue Lady Ai. I won’t forgive you if you fail!”

“He’s right, Milady,” Airisuke said, and started to slip off the bulkier aspects of her maid uniform. “We’ll have a better chance this way. And…I can see you in a sexy swimsuit!”

As more footfalls thundered down the railcar, the two women made their escape…

* * *​

A short while later, Airisuke and Kitsune made landfall on the beach. In the distance, the monorail still sat silently on its track. Nearby, though, was the platform where the train would have stopped. Strangely enough, it was devoid of human life, save for more automata that sat silently at their booths, gears and cogs whirring and clicking away.

The mansion’s location was obvious: rather than being some secreted-away compound in the middle of a dense forest, it was right next to the monorail platform. From behind impassably high walls, its green-gabled roofs brilliantly reflected the sunlight for all to see. And as far as Airisuke could tell, the gate at the end of the monorail platform was the only possible entrance in.

For Kitsune, Chung-Hee warning was starting to ring true. The air itself was uncomfortably heavy, and her skin was already starting to itch and burn. Though the weather was sunny and temperate, everything felt chilly and damp, with a cold that cut right to the bone. The feeling was akin to piggybacking a wet, sullen gorilla that she couldn’t shrug off.

“I don’t think we’ll be able to scale the walls,” Airisuke said. “Those bricks are infused with Dimeritium, too.”

From overhead speakers, a rather…presidential fanfare began to play, followed by a cheerful, prerecorded voice. “Welcome, travelers and seekers of knowledge, to Furoridajima! The Grand Inventor thanks you for your interest, and requests that all visitors seeking an audience wait in the entrance lobby for their appointed turn. And for those of you who’ve come to steal or cause mischief, Aru Goro invites you in as well! Let’s play a game!”

“Aw shit,” Airisuke muttered. “You think he knows we’re here?”

The gate swung open, revealing a cobblestone path up to the mansion’s gilded front doors.

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

Kitsune nodded to Chung-Hee ”Make sure you don’t die.” she said, before handing the man a key ”Here. That’s for the guest house next to the mansion, for when you need to lay low. Show that to the two maids there, and they’ll take care of you.” Who knew how long this excursion would take? The Icebringer would probably need a place to hide while Kitsune and Airisuke went to save Ai-chan. She turned to face Airi ”See, I figured you’d say that.” she said and tore off her dress to reveal a swimsuit, with a few modifications to carry scrolls, flasks with varying contents, and a belt for her sword.

”Now then… Off we go!” she said before they made their escape from the train and eventually made landfall on the beach. Kitsune rolled out a scroll and activated the seal to bring out a change of clothes that might, or might not, leave Airisuke with a jaw that needed picking up. ”Looks like he was right. There’s something… Wrong about this entire island. I really hope this technology doesn’t come into the hands of the general military. Or even the government agencies. It’d be disastrous.”

She nodded at Airisuke, agreeing with her assessment of the wall ”You’re right, we’d better look--” she began, but was interrupted by the fanfare and a voice. ”Fairly sure he does. He’s probably got surveillance all over the island. And now we get to play pawns in a sick game of Oubliettes and Wyverns. With him as the game master.” she answered when Airisuke muttered her question. ”Looks like we’ve got one way to go, and that’s forward. You might want to grab a set of clothes as well Airi-chan.” she said and gestured to the other set of clothes on the scroll. ”I figure I won’t have many chances to use these once we’re in there. So let’s hope it can be solved stealthily, or at the very least, with a sword and some sorcery. Or, y’know. Black fiery death.”

[MFT; WC: 340]

 

[Takaki Saeko]

"Don't worry, Milady Duchess!" Airisuke said, her chest puffed with pride (and hope and dreams). "We'll get Lady Ai out of there lickety-split, and in the process teach that blowhard inventor a lesson! Global warming, my ass! That's just fiction made by the Leafies to make our manufacturing less competitive!"

She reached for the scroll, swiped left a few times to spool the outfits along, and when she found what she'd been searching for, swiped right. With a moderately-flashy transformation sequence (not as fabulous as her mistress's, though) she went from school-system-issued one piece bathing suit to her standard, frill-accented maid uniform again. In its deep pockets were all the tools needed for both infiltration and assassination. "I'm all set, Mistress. And I highly approve of your choice of clothing! It fills me with so many warm and dripping thoughts that I could cast Hulk Smash right now!" She stopped her pirouette. "But I won't, because, uh, not the time or place..."

Without further ado, the pair stepped in through the beckoning doors to the mansion. It surprised no one when the doors closed soon after they'd entered, and locked with an ominous clicking of deadbolts. Inside the large antechamber, however, wasn't a contingent of marines or spinning death traps or poison gas, but rather a comfortable-looking layout of couches, tables set with appetizing-looking fruit and snacks, and fine paintings hanging on the walls. In glass display cases were perched the patent applications and prototypes of Aru Goro's most famous inventions, among them the famous Hitachi Magic Wand. "I own two of these!" Airisuke remarked as she passed it by.

In the center of the room, however, two objects stood out. One was an audiograph perched on a mahogany stand, and the other was a large lever attached to a pivot point on the floor. The audiograph began to play a recording:

"Let's not mince words, Duchess Shinrya Kitsune: I know exactly why you're here. In truth, it's a great honor that you've decided to visit. Your research reputation precedes you, and I have long wished to sit down and discuss the finer points of ectoplasmic autoneuronal grafting over tea and snacks. But alas, my loyalty and adoration for Regent Mishil takes precedence over my own desires, and thus we cannot meet on peaceful terms. In exchange, my liege rewarded me with a most...captivating specimen to examine. I can easily see why you'd come all this way for Lady Ai. She's always been absolutely breathtaking, and when she's unable to fight back, all the more so. Oh, don't fret--I haven't done anything so unrefined as rape her or press red-hot irons to her skin. Rather, I've been delving into her mind. The most appealing part of any human, man or woman. With the right application of gaussian neurostimulation, anyone will reveal her secrets. But rather than hear me babble on and on, why don't I give her the floor?"

"Kitsune-chan, listen to me..." Ai's speech sounded both slurred and with a far-away quality, as if she'd been drugged. "Turn around and leave, please! Don't fall for his baiting! This man may look like Goro-sensei, but he's not! He's not himsel--" Suddenly, her speech cut off and she let out a high-pitched shriek, followed by frenzied panting.

"Oh drat," Aru Goro's voice came back on. "Sorry about that little flub, Duchess. You know that experiments don't always go as expected. Well, whatever. I'd make another recording, but I've got little time, especially after preparing your welcome. Now, if you want your girlfriend to ever remember you again, not to mention be able to feed, clothe, and clean herself under her own power, don't keep me waiting. Pull the lever and let our game begin."

"The nerve of that bastard!" Airisuke said. "But I guess we may not have a choice. I did some poking around, and besides the door to go back out again, there's no way to go forward. It's like the mansion's just this room and nothing else, unless we do what he says. Then again, look at the ceiling. All glass. Maybe we could break a pane and climb up through it? But then there's always the risk that we'll fall into a clipping error, or get diced to bits by machinery, or something equally horrible! I also suggest making a plan of attack: should we try to rescue Lady Ai first, or neutralize Goro-sensei? I'll follow your lead, Mistress."

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

Kitsune blinked a few times at Airisuke’s sudden outburst regarding her choice of outfit. Ah well, wasn’t the first time she’s been a slight bit odd when it came to her mistress. ”Quite right. Not the time or place.” she said and headed inside. As they passed the patent applications, and various prototypes Airisuke remarked she owned not just one, but two of the magic wands. ”Two huh? And what do you use those for, if you don’t mind me asking?” Kitsune said, smirking a bit as she knew full well what Airisuke did with at least one of them. It was difficult to not hear it at night.

As the audiograph message played, Kitsunes features became rigid, and you could almost see the unbridled fire of hatred burning in her icy blue eyes. ”Lets play along first. See if we can find a way outside those carefully planned ‘games’. Think getting outside the testing chambers in the Gateway series.” she said, and pulled the lever, not entirely sure what to expect from that action. ”The main goal is to rescue Ai-chan. Regardless of everything, that’s the priority. If we get the chance to take Goro out, that’d be icing on the cake.”

[Sorry for the short post. Wasn't exactly sure what more to put. ]

 

[Takaki Saeko]

As Kitsune pulled the lever, the sound of whirring and straining gears echoed through from behind the walls, which themselves began to move. Panels of wood and metal slid to and fro, rising to form new ceilings and balustrades, while others formed new floors and hallways. Still more collapsed and sunk into hidden troughs out of sight. Before long, what had been a dead-end chamber was now a grand entrance hall resplendent with golden trim, in the fashion of Donado of Oranji's personal estate, and complete with a pair of working fountains. The last thing to move into place was a large grand piano that rose up from underground on a platform and locked into place as the room's centerpiece.

But the biggest surprise yet was what sat at the piano, expertly playing a classic minuet that was notorious for stymieing the fingers of even experienced musicians. "He" looked to be a man at first, though closer inspection revealed the same, uncannily pseudo-human face of an automaton. As the piece drew to a close, the automaton carefully rose, drew the protective cover over the piano's ivory keys, and then bowed to Kitsune and Airisuke. Then, he reached into the instrument's opened top board and withdrew what Airisuke recognized as a classic Kamicorp submachinegun with a fully loaded drum magazine: the famed "Konoha Typewriter."

"Oh shit!" she cried. "Get down!"

The automaton took aim and started to fire.

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

Kitsune sighed. This was way too theatrical. It’s like it was cooked up by a british cartoon villain from a Saturday morning cartoon show. Then the automaton showed up. It had the face only a mother could love. And that’s if she was blind. It sat smack dab in the middle of uncanny valley, and Kitsune was almost visibly repulsed by the machine. Unfortunately, that’s when she saw it withdraw a tommy gun from the piano, and as Airisuke cried out to get down, Kitsune jumped towards Airisuke, to drag her to cover. ”Go right, I’ll go left. We’ll flank that bastard.”

And when they moved, Kitsune drew her sword, ready to close in from the left while Airisuke shot at it from the right. No matter how well made it was, it’d not withstand a two-pronged attack. Well… Hopefully it wouldn’t, anyways. That was kinda up to some almighty narrator of the story. Some gun-crazy author of some kind. Either way. Kitsune would charge at the automaton, using only miniscule amounts of chakra focused into her feet to propel her forward explosively. Because while the broad usage of chakra was severely restricted here, surely amounts small enough to be unable to create any kind of jutsu with would be less punitive on the user.

 

[Takaki Saeko]

"I'll cover you!" Airisuke shouted as she dove away just in time to avoid a burst of lead from the automaton. Taking advantage of her momentum, she rolled behind a nearby couch and in one fluid motion pulled a loaded battle rifle out from the ruffles and folds under her maid's dress. Kitsune had told her to bring whatever she had wanted for maximum destruction, after all. She popped up from beneath her cover, took aim, and bellowed: "Say hello to my little friend!"

While Airisuke occupied the automaton's attention with a hail of bullets, Kitsune bounded forward with her sword drawn back to strike. Expertly, she twisted out of the way of both the robot's bullets as well as Airisuke's, pirouetting through the air while lead zipped past mere millimeters away from her thighs. As she got close, Kitsune somersaulted, allowing her breasts to oscillate away from the path of one of her maid's projectiles. The bullet slammed into the automaton's head and blew away the armored gorget protecting its neck, into which Kitsune's sword plunged a moment later.

She yanked hard on the blade, severing hydraulics and bundled power lines before snapping the iron vertebrae that held her enemy's head on. The automaton let out a shrill, mechanical groan, dropped its weapon, and took a few steps forward before clattering to the ground in a smoking heap. Then Kitsune collapsed to her knees.

"Milady!" Airisuke cried out, tossing aside the empty rifle and rushing to Kitsune's side. Quickly, she pressed a hand under Kitsune's blouse and over her heart, and intoned a quick recovery sutra. While it wouldn't refill her mistress's prana stores, the spell would at least take away some of the nausea and vertigo that accompanied depletion sickness. "Oh, Milady, you were amazing there," Airisuke said, blushing but obviously enjoying the necessity of contact. "I think your 'assets' might have actually moved at greater than twice the speed of sound!"

At the end of the newly-reconfigured room, a previously-closed door now opened, revealing a grand, many-stories-high arcade beyond. From the new area issued the sounds of fountains and birdsong, as well as the clanking of more of the mechanical drones. But most telling, was the presence of an elevator shaft in the middle of the room. Its call-buttons were clearly labeled: "Your Waifu," "Super Cereal," and a hitherto unrevealed option: "The God Emperor."

"I guess we have to press on," Airisuke said. "But even as nicely as we took that gun-toting miscreant down, Milady, I don't think trying to fight a bunch of those things at once is a good idea. We should try to sneak our way through if possible. The most direct path seems to be the Waifu option, but I dunno, we might get lucky with this 'God Emperor' or whoever he is."

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

With the perfectly choreographed movements of a trained acrobat, Kitsune zipped through the air, and thanks to Airisukes expert marksmanship, or is that markswomanship? Eh, whatever. Thanks to Airisuke, Kitsune was able to provide the automaton with a fresh spine, i.e. her sword. Upon snapping vertebrae of the neck of the mechanized foe, Kitsune felt the depletion sickness kicking in, slapping her senses around with a spell of vertigo and general dizziness. ”Twice? Now you flatter me.” Kitsune said and chuckled as she got onto her feet again after Airisuke had done what she could to alleviate the depletion sickness.

”Well. I suppose I’d better save my chakra for an absolute emergency, considering what just happened to me.” she said, before turning her attention to the reconfigured room. This was definitely like something from a Saturday morning cartoon show.

She walked over to the elevator to see what options they had ”Well. If the buttons go where they’re supposed to go, then I figure ‘The God Emperor’ would be to Goro, and ‘Your Waifu’ would be to Ai-chan. But ‘Super Cereal’? Really? If it wasn’t because we were here to save Ai-chan, I’d push it. Question is. If we take out Goro, what happens to Ai-chan? I mean, he’s a master of mechanics, he could have rigged something up to do things to Ai-chan if something happens to him. In which case, we have to disable him fast.” she reasoned. If Airisuke reasoned towards taking down Goro first, Kitsune’d push that button, if not, she’d push the button for going to Ai without hesitation.

[MFT; WC: 264]

 

[Takaki Saeko]

Airisuke took in a deep breath, drew herself to her full height, and spread her arms. "Are you not entertained?" she bellowed. "Are you not entertained? Is that not why you are here?"

A moment later, probably to Kitsune's befuddled expression, Airisuke blushed and cleared her throat. "Ah, sorry. I just always wanted to use that quote in a mission! What I meant to ask you was if you remembered your reason for coming here. The way I saw it, all the crap you went through to get here, and all the pain and suffering you're going to endure from now on, is and was for only one reason: to get Lady Ai back safe and sound. So, unless you've changed your mind, I say we continue with our plan. Aru Goro is a malicious man, for sure. He's a real bear. A pig, you could call him. A ManBearPig, even! But neutralizing him pales in importance to getting our waifu back. So let's go and get that silly kage of yours back, and I don't mean Ayumu."

With that, the two women drew back their arms and saluted each other with the most ladylike of brofists, before sneaking out into the atrium. Had they visited the mansion for any other reason than to save Ai's life, Airisuke thought to herself, it would have been a pleasant place to dillydally in. A high and impossibly clear class ceiling let in sunlight from above that hit the verdant gardens below and dappled the marble floors with dancing patterns of crepuscular light. Birdsong echoed through the air, complemented by the pleasant noise of flowing water from fountains and artificial rivers below. As far as avoiding the mechanical guards, such a task was easy--the creatures tended to only walk the stone paths, so all the pair had to do to avoid detection was to creep around amidst the plants.

To their unpleasant surprise, however, in addition to the automata clanking about, there were also more than a handful of human guards, all bearing the crest of the new Chancellor of Lightning Country over their armor. The hard-faced men were well-armed, and clearly fidgety.

"The hell?" Airisuke muttered to Kitsune while they crouched behind a stand of bushes. "First the Bear Intelligence Agency, and now House Oranji pays a visit? What's Aru Goro up to?" As she spoke, the elevator within its shaft started to move. "Well, at least that's our chance. When whoever's inside steps out, we should sneak in and ride it down to where Lady Ai is. Hold fast, Milady, we're almost there."

The gilded copper doors slid open and a red carpet shot out, unfurling itself across the atrium with a fanfare. Any grace that the spectacle might have possessed, however, was overridden by the sounds of pure bluster.

"I've never been so insulted in my life! What do you robots mean Aru Goro's too busy torturing someone's waifu to see me? Do you even understand Kaminarijin? If I could deport the likes of you, I'd do it bigly!"

A large, business-suit-clad, orange-skinned man with a combover stomped out of the elevator, flanked by House Oranji guardsmen and ushered along by a pair of automata.

Airisuke gasped. "Holy shit, that's..."

"I'm The Donado!" the man bellowed again to the automata. "And you tell Aru Goro that if he thinks tormenting anime girls is an acceptable sort of business, he's dead wrong! I'll build a wall around Bear and make that regent pay for it all! Just you wait, Merkel or Mishil or whatever your name is! You'll pay! Don't think you won't pay!"

"Uh..." Airisuke said, frowning. "I mean, I disagree with practically all of his actions, but he's not exactly in the wrong regarding Lady Ai..."

"Anyway, I gotta answer a call," Donado of Oranji said. He pulled out a cell-phone and flipped the antenna up. "Yeah...what? What do you mean they shot down my Secretary of Edumacation pick? Argh, whatever! We need to find another super-wealthy MILF who's never actually set foot in a public school to run the department. Okay...fine. Send the offer to Shinrya Kitsune. We'll make her a princess, but don't actually pay her a cent for the work. What? Oh, screw Cloud Council if they don't like the promotion. The rank is just for RP flavor, don't they understand? It's completely meaningless! I'll issue an executive order! Don't make me get out my pen--is that clear?"

As The Donado stormed out, Airisuke could actually perceive a sense of...relief from the mechanical men, although they weren't capable of feeling emotions. she tapped Kitsune on the shoulder. "Hey, congrats! I mean, he just admitted he'd cheat you, but still... Oh! Now's our chance! Let's go!"

Before the mechanized carpet snapped back into place and the copper doors closed, the two women slipped inside the car and jammed the button marked "Your Waifu." Airisuke sighed in relief as the elevator started its descent. Then, she pulled out a brace of finely-wrought bolter pistols and readied them. "I know they allow guns on the site now, but I kinda like the stuff we used to use to get around the old rules. Sometimes you just want to sink a large metal rod into something, you know?"

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, the car chimed and came to a stop. The doors slid open again and Airisuke carefully slipped out, pointing her bolters ahead. In contrast to the airy, cheerful atrium of before, the lower levels of Aru Goro's mansion were a dankly-lit dungeon. Exposed biomechanical pipes pulsated ominously overhead, accompanied by a shrill mechanical whir just loud enough to make thinking impossible. Fortunately, the holding cells were not far off.

"There," Airisuke signaled to Kitsune as they rounded a bend to a larger chamber. One of Aru Goro's mechanical servants worked a control panel that blinked and beeped opposite to what looked like an enormous birdcage, with bars tightly spaced and made of dimeritium. Within the cage, strapped to what looked like a dental chair and tightly wrapped from head to foot, was a distinctively woman-shaped body. Perhaps sensing Kitsune's rising blood pressure, Airisuke tapped on her mistress's shoulder again. "Don't be hasty, Milady. If anything happens to that panel, it could fry her brains, for all we know. Let me take out the creature first, then you work the controls."

Airisuke padded out of cover and faced the automaton. "Ohayo, goshujiin-sama!" she announced in her cutesiest, highest-pitched voice. "Please take a break from your daily grind and let me take care of you! Would you like an omu-rice?"

The automaton whirled around and sprouted blades from its hands as it advanced on her. "Intruder detected. Commencing neutralization protocol gamma: death by unga-bunga."

Before it could take Airisuke's head off, the automaton stopped dead in its tracks when a hand-length tungsten bolt crashed into the center of its chest. The creature fell to its knees, but before it could push itself up, another bolt entered its face. The lights behind its eyepieces faded, and it clattered to the ground.

"Ah, gomen-nasai..." Airisuke said, with feigned regret.

Kitsune dashed out of hiding and immediately went to the control panel. Its workings were easy to decipher, leaving her with the unsavory feeling that perhaps Aru Goro and she were more similar in mind than she'd have liked. She pressed out a sequence of buttons, and a winch hoisted the cage up and away, leaving only the restrained prisoner in her chair. With another sequence of button-presses, the tentacle-like restraints withdrew, revealing Ai and leaving nothing to the imagination. The Hoshikage's eyes fluttered open, and she tried to sit up, only to collapse.

"Thank Saito she's alive, Mistress," Airisuke said, gently catching Ai and laying her back. "Let's get her out of--" Airisuke's words were cut off, however, by Ai's hands around her throat.

"No!" Ai growled, her voice faraway and inhuman. "Put me back! Put me back! I need the pain! Give it to me or I'll kill you all!"

"Uh, Mistress, help, I'm turning blue here!" Airisuke mouthed.

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

”My waifu.” Kitsune corrected the maid ”And Ayumu-kun isn’t my kage. I certainly didn’t vote for him. Regardless, you’re right, Rescuing Ai-chan is first priority.” However, when they proceeded stealthily, they spotted the guards of an overstuffed tangerine with tiny hands and a bad comb over. Kitsune practically groaned as the tangerine in a suit began yelling about who he was and building walls. At least he’d be a useful distraction for when Airisuke and Kitsune were to sneak inside the elevator and descend into the depths of the compound, to where Ai was being kept hostage and, probably, tortured.

Wait, did the oversized baboon in a cheap suit just mention her by name? And something about making her a princess? Didn’t he know that was a rank you couldn’t be appointed to? Well, probably not. Kitsune shrugged and waited patiently for the chance to slip into the elevator, which happened to come just as soon as Oranji-dono stormed out and once they were on their way down with the elevator, Kitsune looked at Airisuke ”If only it was a rank that could be appointed. I sure as heck ain’t marrying to obtain it. If I marry for rank, it’ll at least be Queen or Empress. Or, y’know, I could just marry Ai-chan and then I’d really be a Princess, seeing as she’s the Daimyo of Hoshigakure. Either way. Lets get this train wreck moving.”

When Airisuke mentioned wanting to sink large metal rods into things, Kitsune held up an object that was censored to viewers ”You mean like this?” she asked before the canned laugh track kicked in. When they got out of the elevator and further into the compound through the dank tunnels more suited for a horror game with jumpscares at every corner, Kitsune finally spotted Ai tied up from head to toe, and her blood pressure soared skywards, kinda like Kitsunes temper. She wasn’t just angry at what had been done, she was livid. Goro was going to pay. Kitsune would personally make sure he’d be forcefed his own extremities bit by bit for this.

However, thanks to Airisuke, she was snapped out of blind rage, and saved it for later as she waited for Airisuke to take down the automaton with the bolter. Once it had been eliminated by bolt to the face, Kitsune went for the control panel. It was simple enough to work out which didn’t please Kitsune. Either it was a trap, or Goro and herself were more similar. She shook her head to clear that unpleasant thought and released Ai from her restraints. However, due to what had happened to her, she was very much not herself. Not only did she jump Airisuke and tried to choke her to death, she sounded like a deranged lunatic.

Kitsune steeled herself and slapped Ai across the right cheek, and if that didn’t work, she’d try the left one as well, before wresting her hands off of Airisuke’s throat and forcing her arms onto her back before handcuffing them in place. Don’t ask where the handcuffs came from… ”You need pain, Ai-chan? You know I’m plenty capable of giving you pain. But I’ll not let you rot in this hellhole when you could be tied up in my bed at home.”