The scientific certainty of global warming [Kitsune]

[Takaki Saeko]

With the combined force of two lovingly-placed slaps, the fiery, animalistic insanity that had possessed Ai quickly faded from her eyes, and she let go of Airisuke's neck right before being slapped into cuffs.

Airisuke fell unceremoniously on all fours, gulped air like a fish, and vomited (a stream of rainbows). "Cthulhu fhtagn! Milady, is this what you and her get up to in the sack? I mean, I like it a little rough now and then, but I sure as hell don't wanna end up like David Carradine!"

Ai gasped and looked wildly around her. "Kitsune-chan? Why are you... What happened..." She stopped mid-sentence, realization dawning on her. she shuffled forward and pressed her forehead to Kitsune's boot. "Shit!" I know this looks bad, but I swear I haven't actually been avoiding you, mistress! The regent's been holding me here against my will--it was a political hit-job, you see--and I thought I'd never get out! My captor put me in this weird, recurring dream state that was supposed to keep me happy and distracted, but nearly drove me crazy."

"Um, just what kind of weird dream were you having, that made you wanna choke a bitch?" Airisuke asked, still gagging.

"Oh," Ai said, "it was lovely, at least on paper! Like, Kitsune-chan was my layabout, drunken husband who wasted all our money on patreon funding for edgy youtube streamers every month, so I'd have to wear rags and go barefoot around the freezing house. When she got really nasty, she'd chase me around waving her belt in the air, and on special occasions she'd chuck an empty bottle at me and say: Hey, Ai, why don't you use that nasty body of yours to earn me some cash?"

"Jesus..." Airisuke muttered, under her breath.

"But it was just too perfect to be true, and thus I knew it was all an illusion. A prison, basically," Ai said, with a resigned look. "I tried everything I could to get out, but I wasn't strong enough." She looked back at Kitsune. "Oh, mistress, what I'd like more than ever is to taste the real thing, now that I have the real you! But we're all in danger right now. We need to escape and hide!"

"We need to kick that perverted not-Vice-President's ass, is what..." Airisuke muttered again.

"Whatever you do, please show mercy on Aru Goro," Ai said. "I know it sounds really strange, but he needs rescuing, too. We're all the regent's victims here, even him. You see, the grand inventor's always had two sides to him. The side of him that fights climate change and invents cool personal leisure toys, and the side of him that does shit like this. Regent Mishil has incredible psychic power. She somehow made him completely suppress all that was good--all that was Super Cereal--and bring out the ManBearPig. The creature that tortured me isn't the real Aru Goro, basically. I think with our combined powers, we could override whatever curse Mishil put on him. But...Kitsune-chan, I'll leave it to you."

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

”Well, sometimes.” Kitsune answered with a sly smirk before Ai kneeled down and pressed her forehead against Kitsunes boot ”I know. Ice-kun told me. I rushed to save your sorry booty right away, because, well, you’re my Ai-chan. MINE.” Then, after Ai had explained her delusion, Kitsune shuddered ”Ugh, poverty. Another reason it’d be entirely a lie. Also the fact that I wouldn’t be drunken, and I wouldn’t toss bottles at you.” she countered ”Either way. I’m inclined to agree with Airisuke, we need to take down Goro. But first…”

Kitsune paused and stripped Ai of her clothes before slapping a chastity belt on her and re-clothing her in a tight black number that’d definitely make her feel more submissive towards her Mistress. ”Now then. I don’t know how your body is holding up Ai-chan, but we’re going to take down Goro, and knock some sense into him. If we can free him from Mishils control, we might get some more information on how to stop her and get the Queen back on her throne. If Bear were to become unstable, that’d mean instability between Lightning and Bear, and I can’t have that. It threatens my land, and it means my Ai-chan could potentially be forced to attack me. Can’t have that. At all. It’s too melodramatic. Like some sadist with a keyboard had written it on a discussion forum dedicated to roleplaying. Screw that I say!” Kitsune said, huffing at the end before pointing dramatically at the elevator.

”Lets go!” she commanded, heading for the elevator, naturally expecting Ai and Airisuke to follow her.

 

[Takaki Saeko]

Panic resurfaced in the Hoshikage's eyes to hear Kitsune speak. "B-b-but..." she stammered. "But...are you saying you wouldn't be a total layabout scumbag who treated me like crap? I already apologized for going away without notice! What more do you want me to do? Jesus Saito...I'm not sure if I'm pleased at Kitsune-chan treating me so coldly or if I'm afraid our relationship has taken the wrong turn!"

"She's hot as fuck but her personality's kinda..." Airisuke muttered, trying her best to remain composed. "Oh! Yes, of course, Milady Duchess! Here's the gear you wanted. Ha, I wondered what we were bringing an S&M outfit along for!"

Whatever doubts Ai may have had about the strength of her relationship, however, were soon allayed by the cold steel and constricting latex of her new outfit. She struggled around within its confines, her face turning a deep scarlet with embarrassment and titillation. "Oh, Mistress, thank you very much! Just when I thought I'd gotten lucky and you'd have your way with me right here and now, you simply clap me in a chastity belt and leave me to stew in my own literal juices! Ah! That's enough to... to... Ahhhh! Hnng!"

As her thighs clamped together involuntarily, a pulse of prana energy shot out from within her core, strong enough to tousle Kitsune's hair and flip Airisuke's maid skirt up. Ai extended her hand and grasped the hilt of the newly-materialized meteoric steel saber hovering before her, and cut joyous strokes through the air. The blade sparked as it contacted the microscopic dimeritium particles floating about and vaporized them on contact.

"Milady!" Airisuke said in wonderment. "You won't believe this! The scouter says her power level is... huh? Seven hundred fifty six... Okay, well, not as high as I'd expected, but still pretty good, considering. Well, I'd say if we're going to go and confront the grand inventor, now's the time to do so!"

* * *​

With a final ping, the elevator doors opened at the mansion's top floor. As Ai, Kitsune, and Airisuke spilled out onto the red carpet, they were greeted by a battle line of two dozen automata, all armed with machine-rifles that were leveled at the group. In the center, holding a heavy pistol bolter and twirling one end of an impressively waxed mustache, was the grand inventor of Bear, Aru Goro himself.

"Ah, good," he said, "the gang's all here. So while I have you hopelessly outnumbered and outgunned, I'm going to gloat a bit before I kill you."

"Aw man, this is just like in my shounen anime!" Airisuke said, looking unreasonably entertained. "Mistress, would you like butter on your popcorn?" She reached into the folds of her dress and pulled out a camp stove and an instant popcorn kit and started to shake the pan over the flames.

"Hey!" Aru Goro snapped, how brow scrunching up in annoyance. "Act more cereal! You're all about to die here! Anyway, where was I? Oh yes... Mwahaha! I'm honored, Lady Duchess, that you are the first interloper to have ever penetrated my defenses to such a degree. It truly shows that like minds think greatly. Oh, don't deny it. I've read your papers and treatises extensively, and truth be told, we're more similar than perhaps either of us is comfortable with. We both enjoy discovering and dominating the natural world, and we're both partial to hot chicks with a serious masochistic streak. But unlike you, I am not content to meekly bend the knee to the likes of silly NPCs like the Shogun or the Cloud Council or The Donado. I've allowed myself to take full control of my destiny, and take what's rightfully mine!"

"Goro-sama, snap out of it!" Ai said. "Look at yourself right now! Instead of going out there and raising ManBearPIg awareness and fighting climate change, you stay inside all day tinkering with your robots, shitposting on reddit, and fapping to increasingly fetishistic doujins! How can you ever call that 'taking control of your destiny?' When's the last time you even left your house? The regent's turned you into a pitiful, spiteful NEET!"

"Silence, woman!" Aru Goro said. "Why do you care what I do with my spare time? It's not me at fault, but society! I try to tell them about green energy and they just treat me like a meme! So I decided to go my own way! What's wrong with that?"

"Because you're better than that! The world still needs you!"

Aru Goro's features darkened. "I'll concede that you're right on the last point, Lady Ai. The world does in fact need me, But, as I've found out, it doesn't deserve me. No. What this shithole planet actually merits is something different. Something to shake up the order of things. Something like..." He grinned, pulled out a glowing syrette from one of his pockets, and jabbed it into his own neck.

The change started almost instantly. Aru Goro dropped to his knees and ripped away his clothing, scraping his skin deeply enough to draw blood. Every muscle in his body ballooned in size, while his face elongated into a snout containing a pair of wickedly glinting fangs. Thick, matted fur sprouted from every square inch of exposed skin, and his height almost doubled to that of a fully-developed grizzly. He reared up on his hind legs and let out a feral roar, before knocking aside two of the automata next to him. "Behold my glory, scum! I need no machines to destroy you! I can squash you myself!"

With that, he charged.

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

Kitsune shook her head slightly at Ai’s reaction to being outfitted. She’d really have to do something about that mouth of hers once they got back to the mansion. People might think they were some sort of sexual deviants! I mean… Screw the fact that they are. That’s personal business. Not public business. When Ai exclaimed that Ai’s power level was lower than expected, Kitsune sighed ”Well duh, Airi. We’re in a place that kills chakra. Come on now. Use that pretty head of yours. And no, not for that.” Kitsune said and raised a finger before heading for the damn elevator already.

Once they arrived at the top floor, Kitsune stepped out first, being greeted by more automatons that she’d care to count, or even look at. Seriously, how the heck did Aru Goro stand those things? They were so right in the middle of the uncanny valley! Creepy! Regardless, Goro made the classic villain mistake to assume that they were outgunned, and began gloating. Kitsune sighed ”Oh joyous day. A monologue. I’ve been waiting for one of these. Pray tell Aru-san, how you’re going to do things and stuff.” she said in a monotone voice, clearly being sarcastic enough to short circuit the nearest automaton.

Leave it to Airisuke to completely overturn the situation by whipping out a camp stove and friggin’ popcorn kernels before asking if Kitsune would like butter. ”I… I’m not even going to question where you withdrew those from.” Kitsune said and blinked a few times, still not believing what she had seen. Of course, Goro got annoyed and demanded attention, so Kitsune looked at him once more as he began his monologuing. It was clearly the best time to strike but being vastly outnumbered, Kitsune wasn’t going to take any unnecessary risks with her actions here.

Kitsune raised an eyebrow when Goro stated that she was content to meekly bend her knee. ”Can’t say I agree there. Sometimes you’ve gotta be flexible if you want to avoid being snapped in half.” she argued before Ai told him to snap out of it. ”She’s not wrong you know. If they knock you down, get back up. If they doubt your ability, show them how wrong they are. If they wrongfully promote someone else, wish for their early demise so you can get what’s rightfully yours.” Kitsune said right before Goro jabbed himself with a syringe. Oh boy… This was… Not exactly a good situation to be in, that’s for sure.

”Well if you don’t need them, why don’t you turn them off, hm?” Kitsune suggested right before the Man… Bear… Pig… Yeah, that’s it, ManBearPig! Right before ManBearPig charged. Kitsune leapt to the side, avoiding any attempt to hit her while signaling for Airisuke and Ai to take evasive action until they had the opportunity to sink one or more lethally sharp objects into this abominations hide. Or, at the very least, subdue him and find a way to make him normal again, perhaps even break the regents control over his mind? Of course, time would tell if they’d be successful in that effort.

[MFT; WC: 520]

 

[Takaki Saeko]

"By Lord Aion's Member, he's real!" Airisuke exclaimed as she dove out of the way of four-hundred kilograms of claws, fur, and muscle that made up ManBearPig. As she rolled into a crouch, she withdrew a pair of new pistol-bolters and tried to loose a volley at the abomination, only to have to dodge out of the way of one of the automatons when it tried to run her through from behind. "How annoying! I hate it when bosses have bullshit add mobs!"

In the periphery of her vision, she saw Ai expertly switch places with one of the robots before ManBearPig slammed into it, and subsequently, a wall. Crushed by the bull rush, the automaton was nearly vaporized. ManBearPig himself ended up half-embedded in the superstructure, having torn through armored plates like they were tissue paper. Still, the beast appeared stunned, as it clumsily extricated itself from its mess of cabling and twisted steel.

"Gotcha!" Airisuke said, and ran up to the large, glowing, pendulous masses that hung between the creature's legs. She drew back her foot and aimed an expert kick at it, in the truest fashion of advanced Maido-do. When it connected, ManBearPig dropped to its knees and howled, suddenly drained of all his fighting spirit and half of his vitality.

"Yeah! That one's for my mistress! And this one's for me!" she said, and whipped out a pair of bolt-cutters. Before she could inflict grievous harm, however, ManBearPig reared up to his hind legs, and loosed a blast of pure prana that flung Airisuke across the room like a ragdoll. She slammed into one of the support pillars, cracking it, and slid to the floor. "Ugh, should've known he had a wakeup move... I'm sorry, Milady Duchess, I've... failed..." she mumbled, and fell unconscious.

Ai wrenched herself away from the two automata she fought and rushed over to Airisuke. "She's still alive, but out of commission, and none of us have the prana to heal her!" She clenched her jaw. "Kitsune-chan, we only have one chance! I'm using the rest of my prana to bind him! Protect me in the meantime! Rin, pyo, to, sha, kai, jin, retsu, zai, zen!"

ManBearPig, flush with rage, reached out and grasped one of the surviving automatons by the waist. Then, he drew back and flung it with all his might at Ai. Before it could turn her to paste, Kitsune reached out with a palm and let loose a blast of searing plasma that vaporized the improvised projectile in midair. The creature followed up with another flung robot, which Kitsune also vaporized.

"Almost there, Mistress!" Ai said, beginning the final segment of incantations. She could tell that Kitsune was almost drained from the effort. "Now, ManBearPig, face that which always causes ultimate paralysis for the homebound NEET! Your fuckups are just mirrors of your life, aren't they? You always fail just when things are looking up! You start projects but never finish them! No one likes you! You often wonder if it'd be better just to neck yourself than to continue burdening others! This is the low point! Rock bottom! BLACKPILL NO JUTSU!"

As she completed the incantation, the very mansion itself started to tremble. A sudden onrush of power erupted from the earth itself and shot upward, reducing the roof itself into smithereens that blasted into the sky. As it enveloped ManBearPig, he howled in rage and pain while tendrils of pure energy wrapped around his throat, his limbs, and his...weak point. "Kitsune-chan!" Ai shouted. "Take him out! Do it lethally or nonlethally, but do it now!"

 

[Shinrya Kitsune]

Kitsune nodded at Airisuke when she stated that she hated bullshit add mobs. While Kitsune wasn’t exactly sure what the heck she meant, she did agree with the meaning of it that she caught. She was sure that what Airi was referring to was the automatons that Goro didn’t bother disabling. Typical mad scientists. Then again, there was a thin line between madness and genius. And all it took to cross from one to the other was the degree of success. She was sure that if her own work had been less successful, she’d be considered an absolute lunatic type mad scientist. Fortunately, it had all panned out, hadn’t it?

When Airisuke got slammed into a support pillar, Kitsune lunged at her to get her out of the way and to safety. Then Ai stated that she’d use her chakra to bind the monstrosity that was Goro. Kitsune nodded and placed herself between Goro and Ai. Because hell, if he wanted to get to Ai, he’d have to go through Kitsune first. Hopefully not literally though, Kitsune wasn’t interested in dying a third time. However, when the automatons were flung at Ai, Kitsune practically growled and vaporized them with blasts of plasma that was so hot it felt like a small sun being in the room.

Finally Ai locked Goro down. Somehow invoking the hidden terrors of NEETdom which resulted in Goro practically keeling over, and Kitsune took the opportunity to knock him out completely, and if he woke up, she’d just have to knock him out again. She intended to save the man, and enlist his help in restoring Bear Country to how it was supposed to be. With the Queen on the throne, and Mishil in a dungeon somewhere.

[MFT; WC: 291]

 

[Takaki Saeko]

Ai's body shook and writhed as she threw all of her remaining energy into the bind. The dimeritium particles in the air flared brilliantly as they crashed into her, drawn like gnats to a roaring flame, determined to extinguish it with a massacre of their own bodies. "I can't hold it anymore! And not in a good way!" she cried as Kitsune bounded toward ManBearPig with her hand out for a crash mind-meld.

The air turned to jelly. As if in an infuriating dream, the more Kitsune pressed, the harder it was to move, and the slower she seemed to go. Only a few more millimeters was what she needed. Of course, ManBearPig's jaws snapped open without any hint of struggle, revealing double rows of piercing fangs. Any moment, Ai's power would give out and Kitsune would be back to square one and minus an arm for her trouble. Was this how it ended? In failure?

"This is why nightmares suck!" Airisuke bellowed from behind. "You can't ever just throat-punch all the monsters because of bullshit! Well, screw that!" The maid bounded between Kitsune and ManBearPig, took Kitsune's wrist, and then pulled it forward. The tips of Kitsune's fingers blazed with light and a tingle shot through her body as the cells made contact with ManBearPig's jowl, and then everything was drowned in a flash of light.

* * *​

Kitsune's eyes flickered open as light broke through a cloud bank above and slapped her face with its photons. Overhead, aside from a rolling procession of cumulus mountains, the sky was mostly unsullied blue. Her pupils constricted and she realized where she was. With a start, she flailed around to try to get to her feet and get her bearings. And also, to see if she was missing any body parts.

To her relief, her extremities seemed intact, though the mansion around her had seen better days. The roof was missing, for one thing, and rubble and automaton parts were strewn around like so much dropped spaghetti. Only a few steps away were Airisuke and the Hoshikage, both dazed and semi-conscious. Kitsune stumbled over to them and performed a quick check. Both were breathing, and neither were missing parts that she could see. Ai opened her eyes and pointed past Kitsune.

Nearby, a man was panting and retching on his hands and knees, his clothing almost completely destroyed. Around him was a pile of what looked like shed fur, with claws and teeth mixed in. Kitsune marched over to him, ready to strike. He looked up, blinking in confusion.

"I've...I've done some horrible things, haven't I?" Aru Goro said, looking around. "What year and month is this? I remember meeting with the regent a while back...she asked me to host a guest. And then there was a red fog, and then it was like watching myself from out of my own body..."

"You're free of Mishil's influence now, Grand Inventor," Ai said, leaning on Kitsune for support. "She poisoned your mind, and then tried to make you do the same to me. Kitsune-chan helped us both. I'd tell you to lick her feet, but that's a privilege only I have."

"I..." Aru Goro said, clutching his head. "The queen! How does she fare?"

"We won't know for a while," Ai said. "But I trust the shinobi of Cloud to help us out."

"Damn that regent! I should've known it was a power grab! I'll teach her a lesson she'll never forget!" Aru Goro tried to get to his feet, then collapsed to his knees.

"No, Inventor," Ai said. "You need to rest and recover. And we need to keep this quiet for now. The less Mishil knows, the better. You will tell her that you repulsed an attack by Kitsune-chan, but she escaped at the last minute without rescuing me. If she asks for proof that you still have me, then you have the doll."

"Oh, yes, yes. The RealAi you asked me to prototype..." Aru Goro frowned. "Actually, Hoshikage, are you certain you want me to go through with it? I mean, this is a personal waifu construct based on your appearance. Most women wouldn't want..."

"When I think about my silicone likeness being molested and degraded by all those sweaty, smelly, horrible, forever-alone otaku for their sick enjoyment..." Ai's hand strayed involuntarily between her legs, only to meet resistance from her chastity belt. "Oh! I forgot this was here! Stifled once again!" She smiled dreamily.

"Uh, I blame you for making her this way," Aru Goro said to Kitsune with a disapproving glare. "Anyway, very well. It seems prudent to keep the regent in the dark for as long as possible. Then, once all the pieces are in place, we'll be able to act decisively to bring her down and save the queen. I will continue to maintain my evil appearances until that time."

"Milady!" Airisuke said, starting to inflate a rubber dinghy that she pulled out from beneath her dress. "Shall we head back to Lightning? I think we should avoid Bear for a long while, until Mishil finds other things to worry about. I have wanted to see your digs there for a while!"

"Kitsune-chan," Ai said, tugging at a sleeve. "If it's okay, I'd like to stay at your place, too. I'm afraid that Star will only suffer if I appear there again. And...I think I deserve some vacation time alone with my Mistress... Preferably nude... except for a collar... and chains ...and..."

"Jesus Saito, just go already," Aru Goro said. "I'm super cereal!"

[Mission end--Kitsune can exit. Please request mission approval from council!]