[Paper trail]
Aya decided today was the day she was going to unlock her inner gates. She had been studying about it in Taijutsu books and figuring out how to actually unlock the inner gates was something that was puzzling to her. She needed inner peace, some books said, others said sheer strength and perseverance. Aya was far from obtaining inner peace, in fact lately she's only gotten worse, nightmares of her past keep invading her dreams and her thoughts. She thought she accepted everything, but she really didn't, she hid behind so many smiles and lies about being okay, that she didn't what was true. She smiled, but felt like she could break, people like Eiji called her strong, but she felt weak and worthless. She was sick of it. She wanted to sleep without nightmares, have a real smile, and not be a fake.
Aya left the house before anyone woke up, she hadn’t really been sleeping much they were probably used to her getting up and leaving the room earlier than them. She usually accidentally woke the boys up with her nightmares, and accidentally kicking the bottom of Aoi’s bed. In the beginning, they tried helping her, but she didn’t know what to do about it, so she ‘Stopped having nightmares’ as far as they knew, and she’d just take small naps here and there. She stayed up most of the night pretending to sleep, and get up extra early.
This time, she didn’t get up to make herself breakfast, she got up to pack a backpack. Aya got dressed, then she started getting read. She packed an extra blanket from inside the closet, a map, some MRE’s, and a med kit. She ate her breakfast while she packed to save some time. She left a note on the counter for the boys to find later when they got up. She told them she was going on a mission, and she’d be back in a few days. She made sure she had her scarf before leaving the house.
As an anbu in training she was not allowed to leave the country, but she could leave the village, she’d probably be arrested if they caught her outside the country, but she didn’t plan on going that far. She headed north, to the bigger mountains that loomed over the village. They protected the village from all sorts of weather, so going there would be a challenge.
Aya felt like she needed to take this challenge, learn more about herself, and face her inner storms rather than turning away from them. If she could just learn to accept what's happened to her and forgive the people she blamed maybe she’d find peace. She read that journeys like this helped people find more about themselves. She wondered what would be waiting at the top.
Aya traveled miles before she even reached the path that leads up to the highest peak. She could see that she’d need to climb and text her strength against the elements. It was snowing already, winter was just around the corner. The air was thinner as well and freezing, making it hard to breathe. Aya covered her mouth and ears with the scarf and started climbing the mountain.
The snow only got deeper, and she could feel the winds slowly become stronger. The clouds above made the light from the sun dim, the white from the snow also made it hard to see small drops. Aya was careful not to fall into a ditch. She decided the best path was the one going straight to the top, meaning she’d have to climb, and shimmy around cliff edges.
The first day went by, and the temperature started to drop as it became night time. Aya located a cave and took shelter there. She used fire jutsu to start a small fire, and she arranged some rocks around it in a way it’d conceal the light. She used the blanket on the floor instead of on top of her since the floor was colder than the air above her. She couldn’t sleep no matter how much she tried, so once the sun rose, she packed up, and headed out. She made sure to put the fire out of course.
The second day Aya journeyed through the mountains, she made sure to take shelter whenever a blizzard hit, she didn’t feel like freezing to death out here after all. Hours in she was getting close, but she’d have to wait until morning again. It was too risky to traverse the mountain at night, it was colder and almost impossible to see the edges of the drops. Aya was able to take a few small naps throughout the night, but she couldn’t stay asleep.
When the sun came up, she stared out of the cave and sighed softly. She was exhausted, and she still had hours before she reached the top. She forced herself up, and let out another sigh. She was going to do this, she wasn’t going to return home until she reached her goal.
Aya exited the cave and looked around, she then looked towards her goal and started walking. After a bit, she stopped when she saw a child with red hair in front of her. She had nothing on, and she had her back facing towards Aya. Her hair stood out, the red… Aya shook her head and rubbed her eyes. When she opened her eyes the girl was gone… She was hallucinating, the lack of sleep was getting to her. Aya pulled out a protein bar and started to eat it as she walked. "I’ll sleep when I get home..." Aya said to herself in between bites. Today she’d reach the summit, and then she’d rest there. She noted she’d have to go through the clouds that surrounded the top, but she knew she’d make it today.
Aya climbed up the mountain, along the way she’d see the same hallucination over and over again. She ignored it, she had a set goal, and she didn’t want to slow down.
By the time it was early afternoon, Aya made it. The rest of the path up had high winds, but after she passed the clouds, the air calmed. The air was cold, but still, at the top, it was peaceful, she couldn’t hear anything. She looked at the clouds and made a sigh of relief.
“Look down.”
Aya turned to the sound of the voice, she saw the child again, and she scoffed. She then looked away, pretending she didn’t see it. ‘Just ignore it…’
“Look down.”
Again, Aya didn’t look at the hallucination, but curiously she looked off the edge. She could see the bottom, darkness, it made her freeze. "Why..."
“If you jump it’d be like you’d never existed.”
Aya blink then shook her head, she forced herself backward and onto her bottom. "No! I don’t want that, I only wanted to see the top!" She yelled at nothing. "Dammit, I just need to relax..." She said after a pause of silence.
“Didn’t wish you were never born? It's simple.”
Aya shook her head. "No it is not simple." Aya said, she then looked out to the clouds. "I don't want that anymore. I just want to live..." Aya looked towards the child, who was sitting next to her. "Who are you?" She asked finally.
The girl just smiled. “I’m the you that you hide.”
Aya blinked. "Ah damn I’m going crazy." She stated, no use in fighting it now. She knew it was lack of sleep, but maybe it was something more.
“You said you wanted to face your storm, didn’t you? Yet you still deny me.”
Aya blinked, she then turned towards the girl, "What? Your just a figment of my imagination!" Aya stated.
“Until you stop denying me, you’ll never reach your true goal.”
"Fine, what do I need to accept?" Aya then clenched her fists.
The girl looked up, and placed a finger on her chin, she lingered “What have you done?”
Aya blinked, "What?" she was confused.
“What have you done?”
"Uhm.. I climbed the mountain..." Aya stuttered, then looked at the clouds again.
“Remember where you started.”
Aya pointed towards where she thought the village was. "I started over there."
The child stared at Aya in silence.
Aya stared back at the hallucination, wondering what was supposed to happen next. The girl brought up her hand and then slapped Aya’s cheek, it hurt, and Aya didn’t know why. Suddenly they were somewhere else. Aya looked around, she still felt the cold air but she was in a slum village, different from where she remembered growing up. She saw a woman with crimson red hair, helping people, she looked like she was forcing a smile. Aya looked around, "Where are we?" Aya stated, she was still sitting, she didn’t want to move.
“Remember...” a whisper came into aya’s ear.
Aya looked at the scene again and squinted her eyes. What was she remembering? This felt familiar, aya blinked, and when she opened her eyes she was back in reality. She stood quickly and looked around. "Wait! Why do I remember that?" She said, she then took a few breaths, then sat back down. She was way past her limit already, but she needed to know more. That woman, she brought a feeling to Aya, it made her chest hurt.
Aya crossed her legs and closed her eyes. She was going to meditate on it, she’d never really done a full meditation before, but she was going to try.
Once Aya cleared her mind, everything went silent. She traveled through her memories to her first one. She knew this memory all too well, she remembered being alone, waking up alone. In a place, she’d never been before. Aya tried remembering before that, she remembered voices.
“As long as we have her, that Kunoichi will do whatever we say!”
An argument, cold shackles, and the smell of alcohol.
“She’d never know if we just killed the child, I mean she costs too much to take care of.”
“Ninja’s are magic, she can probably sense it or something… But your right, we need the ninja, but not this baggage she brought with her. I know someone who needs an extra hand, it’d be easier to dump her.”
Aya sighed softly, she pushed her memories further back.
She saw the woman with red hair again, she was sitting next to a very young version of Aya. The child was drawing with a broken Cyran while the woman watched. The woman's hands were bound in a way not even her fingers were exposed. She looked exhausted as if her chakra was drained.
“You know, I used to put my work above anything else, Hikari. It left no time for people, if I wasn’t dragged out of my own world, well, I’d be lonely. When we get out of here, I’ll have to teach you.”
That was all Aya could remember, other than the echo of “Akane” in the background. The memory faded away. Aya explored the rest of her memories instead of lingering on that one. She’d been through so much, the darkness almost swallowed the light. She then remembered the day she met Hitori Momoshiki, his smile, the warmth, he made her jealous with how happy he could be. She’d only experienced the darker side of humanity, she was disregarded as trash, but there he stood, smiling at her as if nothing she’d done mattered. He was soft, but he took her in. Taught her, and helped her get into the academy with a clean record.
Then she met Ji for the first time on her way to her new home. He was so small back then, it’d only been two years, but he’d grown so much taller than her since then. He was with his father, she took it upon herself to say hi, and show her first forced smile. She wanted to be like Momoshiki, that she was willing to fake a smile, it helped start a friendship that made her want to work harder for her goal. A rivalry she’d never seen coming. She denied it before, but that was something good, it made her happy, and helped her light shine brighter than the darkness when she thought about him. She met Ryuichi, Shizuka, and Aoi-sensei after that. She wasn’t close to them, but they helped her stay on track. Shizuka made Aya see what hard work could get you, she was bullied, and harassed, yet that girl came out strong, she basically beat three kids by herself, Ji kinda helped keep the heat off of her, but her strength was admirable.
She was disappointed when Aoi-sensei left her out of their first mission, but if he would have brought her, then she wouldn’t gain the experience she did on her own, fighting a demon, and doing investigator stuff. It was a lot of fun, plus it impressed Ji.
Ryuichi was someone Aya didn’t speak to a lot, she remembered the first time she met him, they were on the same team during Aoi’s class. He had a good plan, but they all lacked communication skills to actually win. He was nearly killed then, by Shizuka. It made Aya invest her time in defensive jutsu, she didn’t want that to happen again. Ryu was in the hospital now, Aya didn’t know the details, but she was sure he’d tell them later, if not Aoi would.
Aya remembered when she first met Kyo, technically she first met him in the bath, with Kaori, but the first time she actually met him was when he requested to tutor her. She remembered that feeling, excitement, and happiness someone actually was willing to help her. It reminded her of Momoshiki, but Kyo’s personality was far from soft. He was rough, demanding Aya fight, then forcing her to use a jutsu, that she just discovered, over and over until she was nearly drained of all her chakra. It was hard, but that was the first taste of what it took to become a strong shinobi. It set her goal, to not become a kunoichi, but be the best of the best. She wanted that, but after that, she truly wanted it. Some could call her a masochist for that, but it didn’t matter.
Since her first lesson with Kyo, Aya had three other tutors with him, she liked him, he had a sense of mystery. Aya couldn’t help but think that he was up to something with all those kids, but who knew. She just knew it was none of her business.
Aya had a lot happen, a lot of good. Aya believed that her smiles were fake, but she realized they were not, she was happy. She still was sad about her past, but she didn’t see any reason to hold onto the pain anymore. She remembered more, she wasn’t abandoned by her parents as she once believed… For all, she knew her mother still could be out there, and her father. It gave Aya hope.
Aya sighed, she felt calm as she thought about everything she’s done up till now. She trained, and studied hard to catch up and surpass her teammates, she made a best friend, even though she was scared of getting close to people. The village showed her kindness, and she was loyal to them now. She had a home, which was more than she could ask for. She still had much to do, her goals didn’t stop here. She wanted the strength to protect her friends, and fight for the village. She found that she loved them all, and she accepted that one day, they would not be around anymore. Some would die or leave, but that wasn't going to stop her from loving them, and growing. She wanted to enjoy every second with them, she was going to change. Her outlook was always negative, looking at the glass half empty, she would see the glass as half full, and then fill the glass all the way.
Why waste your time brooding about things you can’t change, when you can change the future instead. Aya accepted she’d be sad about her past, it was a natural emotion, she needed to express. She also accepted she was happy with her life, instead of telling herself that it was all fake. She forgave her past, the people she blamed, her parents. She accepted that it happened.
Aya soon fell asleep on top of the mountain, getting some well-deserved rest. When she woke up next, she was still on top of the summit, it wasn’t as cold as she remembered it being, she felt chakra flowing through her that she’d never felt before. It was warm, and it seemed to be the thing that kept her from dying. Or maybe she did die and this was what it felt like. She pinched her arm just in case, she could still feel it. Good. She looked around and wondered how long she was asleep for. She’d find out later.
"I think I opened a gate..." Aya said to herself, she felt something inside her change physically, she felt a rush of energy, it was new and strange. She decided to use this new chakra to speed down the mountain instead of taking three days to get down. With her seikon speed, and the gate, she was able to make three days into one day, she probably could have made in less time if she didn’t have to stop to make sure she was going the right way.
Aya camped out for the night at the base of the mountain, before heading home. She wanted to see how everyone was doing, and she wanted to tell Ji about her experience.
[Total wc: 3766]
[mft]
Even though Aya had just graduated, she was still studying. There were sections of the library that had information that was off limits to students and citizens. These were books that had information about all sorts of ninja stuff, genjutsu, deeper into bloodlines, and such. Some books touched upon Kinjutsu, though they didn't list all known. There were other sections that only jonnin could access, and then there were the anbu collections. The book she was reading was from one of the restricted areas, she wasn't allowed to check it out and take it home, but she could read it in the library. She sat in the general area since there were no seats in the back. It was a book mostly about Taijutsu, and how to go beyond the limitations of her own body.
Aya was deep into reading when she heard a 'hi'. She blinked and looked at the source. It was Shizuka, from that battle class. Aya reached out her hand and nodded to her. "Yeah, I'm Aya." She said with a smile. Aya closed the book as Shizuka leaned in, in response without even thinking Aya closed it.
"I was studying Taijutsu techniques," Aya stated truthfully, though the girl had a look of curiosity. Aya wondered why she came over to talk to her, Aya was a couple of years older than her, at least by looks. Maybe she was someone who was cursed with a child-like body.
Aya's line of thought stopped when Shizuka mentioned free food, dam, her only weakness. "Okay, I don't mind food, I gotta return this book back to the desk though." She stated then stood, she returned the book in at a box near the closed-off area, one of the restricted areas. After that Aya returned to Shizuka and gave her a thumbs up.
[from this thread]
Aya was deep into reading when she heard a 'hi'. She blinked and looked at the source. It was Shizuka, from that battle class. Aya reached out her hand and nodded to her. "Yeah, I'm Aya." She said with a smile. Aya closed the book as Shizuka leaned in, in response without even thinking Aya closed it.
"I was studying Taijutsu techniques," Aya stated truthfully, though the girl had a look of curiosity. Aya wondered why she came over to talk to her, Aya was a couple of years older than her, at least by looks. Maybe she was someone who was cursed with a child-like body.
Aya's line of thought stopped when Shizuka mentioned free food, dam, her only weakness. "Okay, I don't mind food, I gotta return this book back to the desk though." She stated then stood, she returned the book in at a box near the closed-off area, one of the restricted areas. After that Aya returned to Shizuka and gave her a thumbs up.
[from this thread]
Had she really grown into a fine nin? Aya didn't think she'd done much growing, other than in the chest. She did have more muscles, but her fat covered any visibility of the muscles the had gained. Probably because she ate more than she needed too. She really didn't care in the end, she did what she wanted to do, as long as she stayed in line with not being thrown in jail, she'd be fine. She wanted to get stronger, more powerful, but at the same time, she just wanted to enjoy her life, since she really hadn't had a chance in the past. But her want for strength was greater than her want for fun, it made her focus on training instead of goofing off.
Aya nodded to Kyo as he asked her if she knew what she wanted to work on. "Yes, I want to work on Taijutsu, I decided that is how I want to fight," Aya stated, she could never study, or train in taijutsu too much. It felt more natural to her than Ninjutsu. Aya nodded to Kyo in his next question. "Yes, I-" She stopped when a teenager entered and gave Kyo a letter. She was going to say she planned on studying both copies even deeper since she had read it, but she was going to read again. She waited for the kid to leave, then Kyo commented on basically learning your place, she was sure where he was aiming that at. She shrugged it off, if he meant it at her, Aoi-sensei would tell her a thousand times to know her place, and she knew her place was here. So the phrase was almost meaningless to her, as long as she didn't understand it.
Aya listened to Kyo's thoughts on the body, she personally thought the physical body was a cage, not a temple, but to each their own. She wished to surpass her limitations, even more, she surpassed her speed, the human speed limitations, now she wanted to surpass her strength. "I plan on far surpassing my strength. I've been studying, and I want to be able to open my Chakra gates." She explained, she knew how to do it, but she needed to take the steps to do it still.
Aya blinked when he spoke of pride and ego. She then smiled. "I'd rather be prideful than cowardly, I'd rather think of myself as great than wishing I'd never been born like how I used to think." She stated bluntly with a smile, she still hated herself, but she also was confident about her skills, which was egotistical and prideful in others eyes. She hid her self-loathing with her pride, and she'd rather keep it that way than allow it to eat at her, she knew those thoughts would always be around, she forced new thoughts. But she always questioned if anything she did was worth it.
[from this thread]
Aya nodded to Kyo as he asked her if she knew what she wanted to work on. "Yes, I want to work on Taijutsu, I decided that is how I want to fight," Aya stated, she could never study, or train in taijutsu too much. It felt more natural to her than Ninjutsu. Aya nodded to Kyo in his next question. "Yes, I-" She stopped when a teenager entered and gave Kyo a letter. She was going to say she planned on studying both copies even deeper since she had read it, but she was going to read again. She waited for the kid to leave, then Kyo commented on basically learning your place, she was sure where he was aiming that at. She shrugged it off, if he meant it at her, Aoi-sensei would tell her a thousand times to know her place, and she knew her place was here. So the phrase was almost meaningless to her, as long as she didn't understand it.
Aya listened to Kyo's thoughts on the body, she personally thought the physical body was a cage, not a temple, but to each their own. She wished to surpass her limitations, even more, she surpassed her speed, the human speed limitations, now she wanted to surpass her strength. "I plan on far surpassing my strength. I've been studying, and I want to be able to open my Chakra gates." She explained, she knew how to do it, but she needed to take the steps to do it still.
Aya blinked when he spoke of pride and ego. She then smiled. "I'd rather be prideful than cowardly, I'd rather think of myself as great than wishing I'd never been born like how I used to think." She stated bluntly with a smile, she still hated herself, but she also was confident about her skills, which was egotistical and prideful in others eyes. She hid her self-loathing with her pride, and she'd rather keep it that way than allow it to eat at her, she knew those thoughts would always be around, she forced new thoughts. But she always questioned if anything she did was worth it.
[from this thread]
Unlocking the power
Aya decided today was the day she was going to unlock her inner gates. She had been studying about it in Taijutsu books and figuring out how to actually unlock the inner gates was something that was puzzling to her. She needed inner peace, some books said, others said sheer strength and perseverance. Aya was far from obtaining inner peace, in fact lately she's only gotten worse, nightmares of her past keep invading her dreams and her thoughts. She thought she accepted everything, but she really didn't, she hid behind so many smiles and lies about being okay, that she didn't what was true. She smiled, but felt like she could break, people like Eiji called her strong, but she felt weak and worthless. She was sick of it. She wanted to sleep without nightmares, have a real smile, and not be a fake.
Aya left the house before anyone woke up, she hadn’t really been sleeping much they were probably used to her getting up and leaving the room earlier than them. She usually accidentally woke the boys up with her nightmares, and accidentally kicking the bottom of Aoi’s bed. In the beginning, they tried helping her, but she didn’t know what to do about it, so she ‘Stopped having nightmares’ as far as they knew, and she’d just take small naps here and there. She stayed up most of the night pretending to sleep, and get up extra early.
This time, she didn’t get up to make herself breakfast, she got up to pack a backpack. Aya got dressed, then she started getting read. She packed an extra blanket from inside the closet, a map, some MRE’s, and a med kit. She ate her breakfast while she packed to save some time. She left a note on the counter for the boys to find later when they got up. She told them she was going on a mission, and she’d be back in a few days. She made sure she had her scarf before leaving the house.
As an anbu in training she was not allowed to leave the country, but she could leave the village, she’d probably be arrested if they caught her outside the country, but she didn’t plan on going that far. She headed north, to the bigger mountains that loomed over the village. They protected the village from all sorts of weather, so going there would be a challenge.
Aya felt like she needed to take this challenge, learn more about herself, and face her inner storms rather than turning away from them. If she could just learn to accept what's happened to her and forgive the people she blamed maybe she’d find peace. She read that journeys like this helped people find more about themselves. She wondered what would be waiting at the top.
Aya traveled miles before she even reached the path that leads up to the highest peak. She could see that she’d need to climb and text her strength against the elements. It was snowing already, winter was just around the corner. The air was thinner as well and freezing, making it hard to breathe. Aya covered her mouth and ears with the scarf and started climbing the mountain.
The snow only got deeper, and she could feel the winds slowly become stronger. The clouds above made the light from the sun dim, the white from the snow also made it hard to see small drops. Aya was careful not to fall into a ditch. She decided the best path was the one going straight to the top, meaning she’d have to climb, and shimmy around cliff edges.
The first day went by, and the temperature started to drop as it became night time. Aya located a cave and took shelter there. She used fire jutsu to start a small fire, and she arranged some rocks around it in a way it’d conceal the light. She used the blanket on the floor instead of on top of her since the floor was colder than the air above her. She couldn’t sleep no matter how much she tried, so once the sun rose, she packed up, and headed out. She made sure to put the fire out of course.
The second day Aya journeyed through the mountains, she made sure to take shelter whenever a blizzard hit, she didn’t feel like freezing to death out here after all. Hours in she was getting close, but she’d have to wait until morning again. It was too risky to traverse the mountain at night, it was colder and almost impossible to see the edges of the drops. Aya was able to take a few small naps throughout the night, but she couldn’t stay asleep.
When the sun came up, she stared out of the cave and sighed softly. She was exhausted, and she still had hours before she reached the top. She forced herself up, and let out another sigh. She was going to do this, she wasn’t going to return home until she reached her goal.
Aya exited the cave and looked around, she then looked towards her goal and started walking. After a bit, she stopped when she saw a child with red hair in front of her. She had nothing on, and she had her back facing towards Aya. Her hair stood out, the red… Aya shook her head and rubbed her eyes. When she opened her eyes the girl was gone… She was hallucinating, the lack of sleep was getting to her. Aya pulled out a protein bar and started to eat it as she walked. "I’ll sleep when I get home..." Aya said to herself in between bites. Today she’d reach the summit, and then she’d rest there. She noted she’d have to go through the clouds that surrounded the top, but she knew she’d make it today.
Aya climbed up the mountain, along the way she’d see the same hallucination over and over again. She ignored it, she had a set goal, and she didn’t want to slow down.
By the time it was early afternoon, Aya made it. The rest of the path up had high winds, but after she passed the clouds, the air calmed. The air was cold, but still, at the top, it was peaceful, she couldn’t hear anything. She looked at the clouds and made a sigh of relief.
“Look down.”
Aya turned to the sound of the voice, she saw the child again, and she scoffed. She then looked away, pretending she didn’t see it. ‘Just ignore it…’
“Look down.”
Again, Aya didn’t look at the hallucination, but curiously she looked off the edge. She could see the bottom, darkness, it made her freeze. "Why..."
“If you jump it’d be like you’d never existed.”
Aya blink then shook her head, she forced herself backward and onto her bottom. "No! I don’t want that, I only wanted to see the top!" She yelled at nothing. "Dammit, I just need to relax..." She said after a pause of silence.
“Didn’t wish you were never born? It's simple.”
Aya shook her head. "No it is not simple." Aya said, she then looked out to the clouds. "I don't want that anymore. I just want to live..." Aya looked towards the child, who was sitting next to her. "Who are you?" She asked finally.
The girl just smiled. “I’m the you that you hide.”
Aya blinked. "Ah damn I’m going crazy." She stated, no use in fighting it now. She knew it was lack of sleep, but maybe it was something more.
“You said you wanted to face your storm, didn’t you? Yet you still deny me.”
Aya blinked, she then turned towards the girl, "What? Your just a figment of my imagination!" Aya stated.
“Until you stop denying me, you’ll never reach your true goal.”
"Fine, what do I need to accept?" Aya then clenched her fists.
The girl looked up, and placed a finger on her chin, she lingered “What have you done?”
Aya blinked, "What?" she was confused.
“What have you done?”
"Uhm.. I climbed the mountain..." Aya stuttered, then looked at the clouds again.
“Remember where you started.”
Aya pointed towards where she thought the village was. "I started over there."
The child stared at Aya in silence.
Aya stared back at the hallucination, wondering what was supposed to happen next. The girl brought up her hand and then slapped Aya’s cheek, it hurt, and Aya didn’t know why. Suddenly they were somewhere else. Aya looked around, she still felt the cold air but she was in a slum village, different from where she remembered growing up. She saw a woman with crimson red hair, helping people, she looked like she was forcing a smile. Aya looked around, "Where are we?" Aya stated, she was still sitting, she didn’t want to move.
“Remember...” a whisper came into aya’s ear.
Aya looked at the scene again and squinted her eyes. What was she remembering? This felt familiar, aya blinked, and when she opened her eyes she was back in reality. She stood quickly and looked around. "Wait! Why do I remember that?" She said, she then took a few breaths, then sat back down. She was way past her limit already, but she needed to know more. That woman, she brought a feeling to Aya, it made her chest hurt.
Aya crossed her legs and closed her eyes. She was going to meditate on it, she’d never really done a full meditation before, but she was going to try.
Once Aya cleared her mind, everything went silent. She traveled through her memories to her first one. She knew this memory all too well, she remembered being alone, waking up alone. In a place, she’d never been before. Aya tried remembering before that, she remembered voices.
“As long as we have her, that Kunoichi will do whatever we say!”
An argument, cold shackles, and the smell of alcohol.
“She’d never know if we just killed the child, I mean she costs too much to take care of.”
“Ninja’s are magic, she can probably sense it or something… But your right, we need the ninja, but not this baggage she brought with her. I know someone who needs an extra hand, it’d be easier to dump her.”
Aya sighed softly, she pushed her memories further back.
She saw the woman with red hair again, she was sitting next to a very young version of Aya. The child was drawing with a broken Cyran while the woman watched. The woman's hands were bound in a way not even her fingers were exposed. She looked exhausted as if her chakra was drained.
“You know, I used to put my work above anything else, Hikari. It left no time for people, if I wasn’t dragged out of my own world, well, I’d be lonely. When we get out of here, I’ll have to teach you.”
That was all Aya could remember, other than the echo of “Akane” in the background. The memory faded away. Aya explored the rest of her memories instead of lingering on that one. She’d been through so much, the darkness almost swallowed the light. She then remembered the day she met Hitori Momoshiki, his smile, the warmth, he made her jealous with how happy he could be. She’d only experienced the darker side of humanity, she was disregarded as trash, but there he stood, smiling at her as if nothing she’d done mattered. He was soft, but he took her in. Taught her, and helped her get into the academy with a clean record.
Then she met Ji for the first time on her way to her new home. He was so small back then, it’d only been two years, but he’d grown so much taller than her since then. He was with his father, she took it upon herself to say hi, and show her first forced smile. She wanted to be like Momoshiki, that she was willing to fake a smile, it helped start a friendship that made her want to work harder for her goal. A rivalry she’d never seen coming. She denied it before, but that was something good, it made her happy, and helped her light shine brighter than the darkness when she thought about him. She met Ryuichi, Shizuka, and Aoi-sensei after that. She wasn’t close to them, but they helped her stay on track. Shizuka made Aya see what hard work could get you, she was bullied, and harassed, yet that girl came out strong, she basically beat three kids by herself, Ji kinda helped keep the heat off of her, but her strength was admirable.
She was disappointed when Aoi-sensei left her out of their first mission, but if he would have brought her, then she wouldn’t gain the experience she did on her own, fighting a demon, and doing investigator stuff. It was a lot of fun, plus it impressed Ji.
Ryuichi was someone Aya didn’t speak to a lot, she remembered the first time she met him, they were on the same team during Aoi’s class. He had a good plan, but they all lacked communication skills to actually win. He was nearly killed then, by Shizuka. It made Aya invest her time in defensive jutsu, she didn’t want that to happen again. Ryu was in the hospital now, Aya didn’t know the details, but she was sure he’d tell them later, if not Aoi would.
Aya remembered when she first met Kyo, technically she first met him in the bath, with Kaori, but the first time she actually met him was when he requested to tutor her. She remembered that feeling, excitement, and happiness someone actually was willing to help her. It reminded her of Momoshiki, but Kyo’s personality was far from soft. He was rough, demanding Aya fight, then forcing her to use a jutsu, that she just discovered, over and over until she was nearly drained of all her chakra. It was hard, but that was the first taste of what it took to become a strong shinobi. It set her goal, to not become a kunoichi, but be the best of the best. She wanted that, but after that, she truly wanted it. Some could call her a masochist for that, but it didn’t matter.
Since her first lesson with Kyo, Aya had three other tutors with him, she liked him, he had a sense of mystery. Aya couldn’t help but think that he was up to something with all those kids, but who knew. She just knew it was none of her business.
Aya had a lot happen, a lot of good. Aya believed that her smiles were fake, but she realized they were not, she was happy. She still was sad about her past, but she didn’t see any reason to hold onto the pain anymore. She remembered more, she wasn’t abandoned by her parents as she once believed… For all, she knew her mother still could be out there, and her father. It gave Aya hope.
Aya sighed, she felt calm as she thought about everything she’s done up till now. She trained, and studied hard to catch up and surpass her teammates, she made a best friend, even though she was scared of getting close to people. The village showed her kindness, and she was loyal to them now. She had a home, which was more than she could ask for. She still had much to do, her goals didn’t stop here. She wanted the strength to protect her friends, and fight for the village. She found that she loved them all, and she accepted that one day, they would not be around anymore. Some would die or leave, but that wasn't going to stop her from loving them, and growing. She wanted to enjoy every second with them, she was going to change. Her outlook was always negative, looking at the glass half empty, she would see the glass as half full, and then fill the glass all the way.
Why waste your time brooding about things you can’t change, when you can change the future instead. Aya accepted she’d be sad about her past, it was a natural emotion, she needed to express. She also accepted she was happy with her life, instead of telling herself that it was all fake. She forgave her past, the people she blamed, her parents. She accepted that it happened.
Aya soon fell asleep on top of the mountain, getting some well-deserved rest. When she woke up next, she was still on top of the summit, it wasn’t as cold as she remembered it being, she felt chakra flowing through her that she’d never felt before. It was warm, and it seemed to be the thing that kept her from dying. Or maybe she did die and this was what it felt like. She pinched her arm just in case, she could still feel it. Good. She looked around and wondered how long she was asleep for. She’d find out later.
"I think I opened a gate..." Aya said to herself, she felt something inside her change physically, she felt a rush of energy, it was new and strange. She decided to use this new chakra to speed down the mountain instead of taking three days to get down. With her seikon speed, and the gate, she was able to make three days into one day, she probably could have made in less time if she didn’t have to stop to make sure she was going the right way.
Aya camped out for the night at the base of the mountain, before heading home. She wanted to see how everyone was doing, and she wanted to tell Ji about her experience.
[Total wc: 3766]
[mft]