It had been two weeks since Kyoshi had completed his first mission. The young Saito was still coming to terms with the fact that he was directly responsible for the death of another human being. It had been an understood fact of the shinobi life since the time he was old enough to walk and talk, but Kyoshi had never had to face the truth of it until now. He had taken a life from the world, accidently or not, and he could feel something inside of him growing colder because of it. His sister, Ayashi, had decided that Kyoshi simply needed to clear his mind, and the incessant ramblings of their father wasn't going to do much in the way of helping Kyoshi cope. To that end, they had prepared their things and traveled out into the countryside for a few days. Ayashi told him it would be a good chance to refocus himself and get back to his training after everything that happened. She was right of course, and it was the first thing Kyoshi had been excited about since everything happened.
Their trip had begun well enough, minimal supplies, and a couple days out in the wild. It was going to be Kyoshi's first such trip and he'd been excited enough for it. The first day had gone off without a hitch, the two Saito siblings made their way into the forest at the base of a mountain, made camp and set about collecting firewood and food. Kyoshi found a few fruit trees and Ayashi caught three fish. The resulting buffet was followed by hours of intensive training, both combative and sensory, as Kyoshi was still learning to familiarize himself with the effects and strain of his Byakugan. It was hard work, but even he could already see the difference in his speed and the power behind his strikes requiring less physical effort. Even after the two siblings tired of beating each other senseless, Ayashi decided it was time to train his eyes for scouting, as she had her younger brother attempt to pick out details from a distance or close at hand on a finite level.
The two siblings had also made time to talk, since Ayashi was training with the ANBU, she was more familiar with the thoughts going through Kyoshi's head than he'd figured she would be. She told him of how the first person she'd ever killed was a serial killer that was stalking the farmers of some remote village in the countryside. The man had been evil, at least in Ayashi's opinion, but she'd still found it difficult to wrap her mind around what she had done. She told him of her struggles to cope with the feelings of herself becoming a murderer just like the man she'd killed, but how in the end she realized the world was safer because of her actions where the world would have been more dangerous because of his. Kyoshi wasn't sure how his sister's idea of balance in this respect coalesced with his own struggles, but he accepted it nonetheless, after all, he needed any sort of validation he could get at the moment. Uncomfortable with the idea of bringing death, Kyoshi latched onto the idea of doing it to help others, because he understood that it was what being a shinobi was about.
In the end however, both Saito retired to the the small camp they had made for themselves, and a couple hours after sunset Ayashi made mention of an old cemetery near an abandoned shrine where they could train the next day while working towards putting their thoughts to rest. Kyoshi smiled at his sister, it had been made clear throughout the day that despite her best efforts to help him feel better and the empathize with what he was going through, Ayashi simply hadn't dealt with the same sort of dilemma that Kyoshi had, at least not in the same way. For him, it wasn't about defending others, that he understood, and it wasn't about being a murderer, but after years of being told to give of himself for the sake of family, clan, and the village, Kyoshi simply couldn't understand how he was suppose to value his life over that of anyone else's. It felt wrong, just as stealing or lying would. It wasn't so much what had happened that bothered him, but how everyone had congratulated him on his survival instincts and the awakening of his Byakugan despite the fact someone had died.
Their father had already begun talking about the possibility of Kyoshi one day joining the ANBU, and how it was his destiny to follow in Ayashi's footsteps. It felt like someone was grating his ears. The shear pressure of it all had given him a migraine, and the thought of one day hunting people down and killing them the way his sister apparently was frightened him. Kyoshi loved his sister, but that revelation in the wake of everything going on inside of his head made him weary of her, the ANBU, as well as his own future as a shinobi. This day had been a good day though, the two siblings had had a chance to spend time together, and Kyoshi was grateful to his sister for everything. It was the guilt he had over the way he was feeling towards her made that him want to cry though. He felt sick as he curled up next to the low burning fire, the sound of crickets, owls, and other creatures as well as the steady sound of the stream let him drift off to sleep. Tomorrow would be a new day, a new chance to figure everything out.
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